Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 July 1885 — Matrimonia. [ARTICLE]

Matrimonia.

Maud—l intend to marry a banker, when I marry, and then I'll wear a sealskin sacaue for every month in the year, and my toilets will be the admiration and envy of the feminine world. Belle—l intend to marry a plumber. Then I will not have any anxiety about the bursting of banks and other corporations. The water-pipes will have to do the bursting for my husband. And you can depend on it that my toilets will be bang up. Blanche—You’re just terribly off, girls. I intend to marry an editor. Then I won’t need any nice toilets. But you’ll see me appear in the paper next morning resplendent as Solomon in all his glory. And your poor earthly raiment will just crawl into a corner and hide its diminished head. You’re welcome to your bankers and piumbers, but I’m looking around for a nice eligible editor, and when I get him you can wager a six-button pair of gloves that I’ll make my female acquaintances just weep with envy. Maud—Oh, how awfully nice! I’m going to marry an editor, too. Belle—And so am I. —Whitehall Times.