Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 21, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 June 1885 — The Lime-Kiln Club. [ARTICLE]

The Lime-Kiln Club.

“Am Stepoff Johnsing in de hall dis evenin’?” asked the President, as he rose up and winked at Samuel Shin to stir up the fire and roast Elder Toots out from behind the stove. “Yes, sah!” replied a high-pitched voice from one of the back corners. “You will please step to de front.” Brother Johnsing had always bragged about the length of his heels, and he now appeared to think that the hour had come when he was to receive a prize chromo. His face wore a broad grin, and just at that moment he would have lent Brother Backslide Davis fifty cents without the least security. “Stepoff Johnsing,” said Brother Gardner, in his deep-toned voice, “I war’ in a feed-stoh de odder night to see about gittin’ two bits’ wuth of meal fur my hens, when you walked in an’ wanted to git trusted fur a bale of hay fur your mule." “An’he trusted me, sah.” “ ’Zactly, an’ it pleased me to see it. In a few minits de ole man Cummins limped in. De two of you talked about de gineral wickedness of mankind fur a few minits, an’ den a dispute arose as to de aige of de world.” “Yes, sah. De ole man Cummins doan know nuffin, sah.” “You called him a liar.” “But he called me a fool.” “You called him a bigot.” “An’ he called me a humbug. ” “’Zactly ’zactly I heerd it all, Brudder Johnsing, an’ now I want to ax you what you know about de aige of de world ?” “I—l—knows as much as de ole man Cummins.” “How old am de airth?” “I dunno, sah.” “Oh, you don’t! You an’ Cummins call names an’ almost fight ober what neither of you kin cum widin a millyun miles of knowin’! Dat’s mankind, ’zactly. We kin be bluffed on what we do know, but we won’t back water fur any libin’ man on what we doan’ know. When we gifc a theory we fight fur it

sooner dan for solemn sacks. If we can’t convince de odder party by blab we am ready to do it by sluggin’. Brudder Johnsing, it will be well fur you to disreckolect a few sacks. A gill of argyment am wuth a bushel o’ abuse. It takes a man of strong common sense to admit his faults an’ errors. You may believe wid all yer might an’ still be in de wrong. Find a man who prides himself on stickin’ to his opinynns, an’ you has found a dangerous member of de community. You may now sot down, an’ we will attack de reglar programme.” Detroit Free Press.