Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 May 1885 — An Historic Tramp. [ARTICLE]

An Historic Tramp.

If any traveling show company has lost a Richard 111. it would be well to look for him in # this city. He is here. He is at present playing the great role of tramp. Walking into the Bee Line Ticket Office, this morning, with manly stride, appropriately hunched as to his back, he “trod the boards” of the office, saying: “Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by—the prospect of a free ride over your road. By the way, ♦ mister, I was just now passing a criticism upon the hand-painted interior of your temple of justice—l was particularly interested in the Mayor’s Court—when ’ hizzoner introduced himself to me and spoke at length upon the excellence of the railroad facilities of this town. He told me that by taking the first train over your road I could distance the police force. I came in such a hurry, for fear of missing the express, that he forgot to hand me a pass. But you can just make out a free ticket. I only want to go as far as Utah. The only three wives I ever had live there, and in the pursuit of histrionic fame I have been separated from them for years.” He was a greasy, grizzly, fat young tramp, with enough red hair on his face to stuff a mattress, and enough brains and information in his head to have cracked that organ open, had it not been unusually capacious. “The best road for walking is Jay Gould’s line—there is no gravel ballast, and not much iron to interfere with the feet, and the ties are soft and about a pace apart. I recommend that all delicate young men like yourself walk, but my physicians have cautioned me against overexertion. If the road-bed is smooth as yours is, I frequently take the box-car sleeper, and, rather than associate with conductors and common train-men, I take to the bumper or truck.” (Striking an attitude). "I come no more to make you laugh: things now That bear a weighty and a serious brow, Bad, high, and working, full of state and woe, Buch noble scenes as draw the eye to flow, We now present. “In other words, my friend, give me a lease for 999 years on a quarter, and I will withdraw my request for a pass, and forego the pleasure of meeting my wives.” The loan was negotiated.— Indianapolis News.