Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 May 1885 — Attorn y-General Garland Non-Suited. [ARTICLE]

Attorn y-General Garland NonSuited.

Washington Letter: I was told of another of Attorney-General Garland’s peculiarities by a friend the other day. He hates doctors. Whenever he hears of a friend being sick he takes the trouble to warn him that the medical profession is a humbug and the only way to be sure of recovery is to let it alone. He says he never had a doctor in his life and consequently keeps well. But the other day he broke faith. He was taken with a peculiar ailment. At first he thought he was getting fat but it was all confined to his face, and e did not know what to make of it. Directly his jaws swelled out to an immense size and became very painful. He endured it for a long time, but finally grabbed up his hat and went to see a doctor who has an office within a square. He said he tho’t he was poisoned, but had no idea who had done it. “I don’t think you are poisoned,” said the doctor, after examining his face very carefully. “You’ve got the mumps.” The attorney-general left the office in a rage, muttering “Mumps! mumps! I wonder if it isn’t cholera infantum!- Maybe it’s a cancer!” and giving vent to other sarcastic expressions to show his contempt for the whole medical fraternity. But it was the mumps, sure enough, and all he could do was to keep out of the way and say nothing about it. J. Frank Snyder, editor of the Lagrange Democrat, having ventured to become a candidate for postmaster, his landlord, who apparently thought he owned Snyder, ordered him to withdraw. Declindo this, the landlord lerved notice on him to “get out or iell out” So Snyder got out, and moving into other quarters, defies bulldozing and stays on the track for the postoffice.—Ex.