Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 March 1885 — GOOD MANNERS. [ARTICLE]

GOOD MANNERS.

l>isagr<*able Candor. A man who never reminds his friends of unwelcome facts or tells them unpleasant truths is sure to be liked; and when a man of such a turn corner to old age he is sure to be treated with respect. It is true, indeed, that we should not dissemble or flatter in company; but a man may be very agreeable, strictly consistent with truth and sincerity, by a prudent silence where he cannot concur, and a pleasant assent where he can. Now and then you meet with a person so exactly formed to please that he will gain upon every one that hears or beholds him; this disposition is not merely the gift of natu.e. but frequently the effect of mucn knowledge of the world and a command over the passions. Frequently that which is called candor is merely malice. —.Boston Gazette. Tact. May we not describe tact fairly well as the antithesis of clumsiness? Etymologically, as we know, tart is touch, and it may be called, therefore, a deft way of handling people. It is born with some men and women, like the supple, delicate fingers of the artists hand, and those who have it use their gift instinctively. It is not measured alike to those who have it—men possess it in different degrees; while others, again, are wanting in it altogether. Tact ought not to be confounded with savior faire; it is not merely the English equivalent for that term; one may have a large acquaintance with the world and its conventions, and be perfected in the practice of social duties, great and small, and yet be lacking in this fine sixth sense, so invaluable to its possessors and to all with whom they come in contact. It is the outcome of intellectual and of temperamental qualities, and implies the possession of clear perceptions, quick imagination, and delicate sensibilities; it is these that give the tactful person his subtle intuition of another’s mental processes and moods of feeling, and in the same moment the exactly right mode of dealing with these. Tact, it is true, like any other natural gift, may. be consciously exercised and brought by use to a higher perfection. Pra diced on a large scale, with experience and foresight aiding, it makes the successful diplomat. It is impossible not to feel a certain pleasure in the use of special faculties, of whatever kind; and it is not to bo wondered at that a person possessing the gift of dexterous touch should regard with a mingling of amusement and compassion the unfortunate individual who goes on his blundering way through the world, forever stumbling against people’s idiosyneracies, bruising their small foibles, oversetting their cherished prejudices, while a little adroitness might save all the damage. There are men and women who are always doing this, just as there are those whose awkward motions and clumsy fingers are continually bringing disaster upon themselves and wiiat they handle.— Atlantic Monthly.