Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 March 1885 — We Have an Idea [ARTICLE]

We Have an Idea

That he who is callous to slander hath the wit of true patience. That a great deal, which is hopefully anticipated, gets here long before we are ready for it. That it is easier to trust in Providence than to obtain any credit at Newport, although both cities are in Rhode Island. That in the midst of life we are on the verge of enjoying it. That merit always finds the* slippery pole of success thoroughly greased with the oleomargarine of contumely. That when Adam hugged Eve in the groves of Paradise he established “the pioneer press.” That no man’s humility causes disquietude to his self-sufficient neighbors. That it is better to be behind the age than before a police magistrate. That long before the telescope was invented many a Dutchman’s wife made him see stars through the butt end of a rolling pin. That when lovely woman stoops to folly she slackens the girdle of prudence and tightens the cords of despair. That a buckwheat cake, a table leg, and a witticism should all be neatly turned. That a traveling menagerie advertises every animal under the sun, though not one-third of them could possibly be got beneath that special canvas.— New York Sunday Advertiser.