Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 6, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 March 1885 — Maxims from Max O’Rell. [ARTICLE]

Maxims from Max O’Rell.

An umbrella is the inseparable companion of every well-born Englishman. A conversazione is so called because at one you converse very little and you talk a great deal. Every English servant girl who is 20 years old, and not hump-backed, has her young man. John Bullis a past master in the art of boredom; but he has never invented any bore equal to a conversazione. The Englishman who shows his feelings loses his self-control. That is bad form, and his countrymen will not have anything to do with him. If you make a call in London during the months of May and June the lady of the house will always ask: “Have you been to the Royal Academy?” • An Englishman who would not for anything say “My God,” will make no Scruple ebout “Mon Dieu* or “Mien Gott,” as though God only understood English. English women are much more easily shocked by words than by things. To speak of pantaloons is unpardonable, but it is quite proper to appear at Lillie Bridge or Lord’s almost without any. You do not see in Hyde Park young men being driven round and round for hours together. Though it would be too much to say that all men in England work, all occupy themselves. Offer to give an Englishman French lessons at his own house at 2 shillings apiece, and he will tell you it is too. dear. Demand a guinea with an arrogant air, and he will agree in an even respectful manner. Englishmen of the Low Church persuasion and the Nonconforming sects, always make their pravers while looking into their hats. if. B.—This is an evident reference to the custom of praising one’s Maker’s name on entering a church. - There is evidently a drop in the value of wives in England. During the present year there have been two cases of sale. In one case a sixpence was realized, in the other a pint of beer. From the cradle to the tomb Frenchwomen lead Frenchmen by the nose. The best way to guarantee yourself against burglars in London is to have a pretty coot. The police will keep your house in view.