Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 February 1885 — A Humorist in Several Languages. [ARTICLE]

A Humorist in Several Languages.

A story having gone the rounds that Opie Read, the humorist of the Arkansaw Traveler, began his journalistic career under Cowles, of the Cleveland Leader, and that the latter had no apprecation of humor, Mr. Bead comes to the defense of his old employer: “I was employed by the Leader Company to do ‘humorous’ writing, and my sad attempts at wit must have made the old gentleman’s hair stand up like the excited tooth-picks on the back of the agitated porcupine. One day, calling me, he said: ‘Look here, I wish you wouldn’t write any more sketches in the negro dialect. Many of our prominent colored citizens have become offended. Can’t you write some other kind of humor?’ “‘Yes, sir.’ “ ‘All right; see that you do.’ “Several days later he sent for me. ‘Look here,’ said he, ‘I wish you’d drop that German dialect. You don’t understand German, do you?’ “fto sir.’ “ ‘Well, then, don’t try to write it. I’d much rather you would atteihpt English. We can’t afford to offend our German citizens.’ “‘AH right, sir.’ “A few days afterward, he came to me and gave me a few more lines of advice, which found me enjoying the same blessing. “‘Look here; I notice that you have taken up the Irish dialect. Were you ever in Ireland?’ “‘No, sir.’ “ ‘Then don’t try to write Irish. Another thing I wish to say. In writing up the baker’s strike, you headed the article “On the Loaf!” What did you mean by that ?’ “‘W’y, that was a joke.’” “‘So I was told, but I took the paper home with me and studied the question pretty thoroughly, but I can’t see where the joke comes in. I must compliment you, though, on one article. That one headed “The Widow’s Last Biscuit,” was one of the most laughable pieces of description I ever read.’ * “’W’y, Mr. Cowles, that was a pathetic article.’ “‘That so? I thought it was funny. Bay, can’t you fix it some way so I can distinguish your humor from your pathos? It is embarrassing to be constantly in doubt. Eun must be hilarious. There must be no mistake about it—no room for conjecture. Your sketches are all very well in their way—they show much hard work; what an effort it costs you to enable the compositors to read them, but it strikes me that there is something lacking. Some people say that I have no idea of fun. This is a mistake. Didn’t I laugh the other day when Perdue fell down stairs ? Of course I did. I don’t want you to think that I am hard to please, for I am not, but if you want to make me laugh you must write something funny. You seem to have brought gloom along with you. Can’t you shake off the despondency which seems to be clinging to your garments? I think that you have made a mistake in your calling. This very minute you ought to be an undertaker. You would make an excellent hand to lift heavy metallic cases. I have just told Perdue to pay you up. I think you’d better go back to Arkansas. lam sorry that we must part so soon. Good-by,’ and turning around with a pleasant smile he discharged the city editor and begged the base ball reporter to throw down his pencil and seek the fresh air <of the country. ”