Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 January 1885 — Stories of the Proctor. [ARTICLE]

Stories of the Proctor.

A certain ungraduate, who held an open scholarship at a hard-working college, and for whom a brilliant career was predicted, had the misfortune to be detected in a billiard room after 9 o'clock at night. Now it happened that the proctor knew his captive as a student of great promise, and was unwilling to subject him to the degradation of a fine; on the other hand, he could not consent to defraud the university. After a few minutes’ reflection a delicate compromise suggested itself. He conversed affably for some time, and then inquired, with much apparent interest: “By the way, Mr. Princeps, have you subscribed to the Charity Organization Society?” “No, I have not.” “Well, let me recommend you to do so. lam a member of the committee, and shall be happy to receive your subscription at once, if it is convenient to you.” “May I ask what is the usual donaiton ?”

“Ten shillings—l am much obliged to you. Good-morning Mr. Princeps.” The other legend runs as follows: A famous young orator was returning one night from the Union Debating Society, and solacing himself with a pipe on his way home. Meeting a proctor within a few yards of the union, and suspecting that uncompromising zeal had led his foe to lie in ambush till the close of the debate—an unpardonable atrocity in the eyes of undergraduates—he determined to be even with him. So, having given up his name and college, and made the usual appointment, he spent the rest of the evening in making a round of the public houses, and returned to his room with his pockets nearly bursting, and a smile of triumph on his brow. Next morning he called upon his captor, bearing in his hand a fat calico bag tied up with red tape. • ' “Mr. Spouter, I think?”

Spouter bows assent. “Ah! vou were smoking in the corn market last night, Mr. Spouter. I must trouble you for ten shillings. Spouter unties his bag and out rushes a torrent of halfpence. _i “Will you oblige me by counting them, sir? I can only make 239,” Spouter left Oxford next morning, and did not return till the following term.— Cassell’s Magazine. t It is now five years since S. N. Silyer, of Auburn, Me., began eating only one meal a day. He spends an hour in eating,, but eats no more than he would if he had tiie other two mgals daily. He is twenty-five pounds heavier, and is able to endure more than when- he ate, three times a day. He nevrt lias tt' cold. “It is a problem of perfect asshnilation of food,” says he. “Twothirds of the food eaten by a person ordinarily is wasted.” Mr. Silver’s wife, too, has eaten but one meal a day for three years, and she is in perfect health. He says that fifteen or twenty of his acquaintances have adopted his system. It is good for us to think that no grace or blessing is truly ours till we are aware that God has blessed some one else with it through us.-PMiip Brooks.