Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 December 1884 — GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES. [ARTICLE]

GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.

Questions lu the Catechism. Tlie rector was paying a visit to the Sunday-school, pausing there to make a suggestion and to ask a question. “Eddie, do you know your catechism well ?” he asked of a little fellow in the infant class. “Guess so.” “Well, let’s see. Who made you?” “God.” “Very good. Now, who was the first man ?” “Don’t know;” and then, after a pause and a look of innocent self-satis-faction, “but mamma says you’re the handsomest man in town."— Harper's Bazar.

Resolving Her Doubt. She had just joined the church and was reading a missionary paper after meeting hours. “John,” said she, looking up anxiously, “I have just given a quarter for home mission purposes. I hardly know the difference between home aud foreign missions. Please tell me which one I’d better patronize.” “That depends on your inclinations, my dear.” “What do they do?” “Do! Why, they say that the home missionaries live upon the people. " “ Yes, and the foreign ones?” “Here the process is reversed, and the people live upon the missionaries if they are fat enough.” French and English. The Frenchwoman is more graceful and piquant than the Englishwoman, but she is less healthy and less fresh. She has livelier eyes, a prettier mouth, a better figure; but her skin is less fair and clear. Walkiug, bathing—this is the secret of the beauty and healthfulness of Englishwomen. They fear neither shower-baths nor draughts. They sleep with open windows, and in the morning they deluge themselves with cold water. In winter the more timid take a sponge-bath, and rub themselves from head to foot to stimulate circulation, till the skin cries for mercy. The appetite, thus sharpened, they go down to breakfast fresh and vigorous, make a hearty meal of eggs and cold meat, aud then start for a country wa;k and a game of lawn-tennis. —Max (TRell’s new book. Women anti Finances. Although hundreds of women hold positions of financial trust in the country, we have yet to hear of one of them being guilty of embezzlement or defalcation. The evidence clearly sustains the position of those who believe that women are qualified, morally, physically and intellectually, for the handling of money in stores or iu banks. General Spinner, who first introduced women into the United States Treasury, left on record a strikiug testimonal to the efficiency and integrity of the sex, and no one ever hail a better dfjportunity to study the question than lie, who at one time had 1,003 women under his direction, engaged chiefly in handling money. He testifies that they count more accurately and rapidly than men; that their ability to detect counterfeits proved to be superior in almost every tee ; that .they were, without an exception, hcneqtv and were invariably more careful and painstaking in their work. Complaints of inaccuracy and carelessness on the part of men were madlß frequently during General Spinner’s a! ministration of the United States Treasury, but such complaints against lady clerks were few. The shrewdest and quickest detectors of counterfeit currency were women, and, in case of dispute as to the genuineness of money, General Sp nuer invariably took the udgiuent of a Miss Grandm, who was for a long time employed in his bureau. In speaking of her ability in this particular one day, General Spinner said: “If I were a believer in clairvoyance I should say that she possessed that

power; bat I am not. so I call it instinct.” Although there are several thousand women employed by the Government as clerks, accountants, postmasters, and in other capaci ies, not one has ever proved unfaithful to her trust. Many have been discharged for incapacity and for other reasons, but never one for dishonesty.— Albany Journal. Criticisms from Cutler lion nets. A student of human nature who attended a popular concert recently was tilled with joy and wonder by the display of learning made by tw'o ladies sitting behind him. The student did not know a great deal about music, though ho felt reasonably sure of telling the difference between a funeral march and a galop, and consequently he drank in with great avidity the free instruction which came from behind him. The conversation began when Mozart’s “Magic .Flute” overture was half played. “How funny! Do you hoar anything of the flute ?” “Not a thing." “Well, if I had been writing an overture about a flute I would have made the instrument more prominent.” “So would I; but just look at the fur on that woman’s cloak!" “Isn’t it lovely?” “Yes; I wonder how much it cost.” “What, the overture?” “No, the fur.” “Oh. I meant the music.” “Oh, yes, of course. What are they playing now ?” “Here it is, ‘Airs de Ballet, Orfee ot Eurydiee.’ It has a dance of the furies in it. I shouldn’t think furies would want to dauco.” •••• Then there was silence for a little space. Soon the band played the allegretto from Beethoven’s Eighth Symphony. When it w'as finished one lady said to the other: “How sweet and simple!” “Yes, but that wasn’t the symphony; a symphony is longer than that, I know.” “Well, what waß it?” “Why, this thing hore, see? ‘Danco of the Furies.’ ” “Oh, yes, that’s what it must have been.” Soon a young lady appearod and sang two Schubert Bongs. “I don’t think much of those songs, do you?” “No; but they say lie is a groat songwriter.” “I don’t see it. Now they are going to play the overture to ‘William Tell.’ ” “What is that instrument that is beginning it?” “ Goodness gracious, dear! don’t you know? Why, that’s a bass violin.” Silence reigned until the lovely English horn solo began. “What kind of a thing is that playing now ?” “Well, I don’t know exactly. It isn’t a clarionet, is it?” “No.” “It’s a bassoon, I guess.” By and by the orchestra began Gounod’s “Funeral March of a Marionette. ” It begins with a tutti passage, ending with a crash on the cymbals. The two ladies jumped. “My goodness! That don’t sound like a funeral march, does it?” “That’s what’s on the programme.” “Well, the man must have died suddenly.” The band played Weber’s “Invitation a la Yalse.” The rapid, loud passage which precedes the soft and gentle close deceived the audience. They thought the piece was ended and applauded. Then, when the music continued, they were surprised. “That’s just like Theodore Thomas. He’s always trying to do something smart. He did that on purpose, I know he did. See him .laugh! I knew he was trying to be smart. He just thinks he has dono it, now l"—Exchange.