Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 November 1884 — DORSEY’S SARCASMS. [ARTICLE]

DORSEY’S SARCASMS.

The Great Star-Router Utters Some Cutting Phrases on Men and Politics. [St. Lonis special to Chicago Inter Ocean.] S. W. Dorsey, of star-route and $2-bill fame, was found by your correspondent to-day among the delegates in attendance on the groat cattleconvention now in session. It is evident at a glan e that he is making a desperate effort to reform, and to make amends, to himself at least, for the past indulgences in politics and public life. A few words of conversation confirms this impression, and also proves that he has an Immense contempt for the Old Guard and its new meiqbers. He was asked: “What do you think of Mr. Blaine’s course in stumping the various States ?" “I believe that the ablest man alive is the mim whi se tongue has been cut off, and that there is no genius so great that it will lighten up thocommon good sense that controls our people. The chances are more than ever that when a candidate for a great office attempts to advocate his own claims he will make more mistakes than corrections. The French have a maxim, ‘s’exouse s’accuse.’ The moment Mr. Blaine opened hts mouth he made the mistake of defense. When he wrote the letter abont his family he made the mistake of accusation; he made every woman in the country teel that there was a base for a false charge. What he ought to have done was to have pointed to his children, his grandchildren, and his family and his life for forty years. It was the d—dest idiotic thing and cost 1,000,000 votes.” “How do you explain the result in Indiana?”' he was asked. “How do I explain It? How would you explain the difference between the burning of a cord of hickory and a cord of soft pine? . Indiana is a State of Intelligence, and is so evenly divided in its political views that the tip of a hair on either side will carry it,” “How about Burchard?” “ I don’t know him, but I will make a venture that he wears a 16 boot and a 4 hat. A Protestant clergyman with no more sense than to talk abont Romanism in an improper way hasn't the decency to bury his mother. I have a large sympathy for such men on the ground solely of their littleness and narrowness. In New York City, where I had an offic e for fifteen years, I think it safe to say, that every great enterprise, every public endowment, all the progress, came from the Catholics and Jews. Then to hear this fellow talk Is to my mind a good de»l like the hen that tried to lay a goose egg. She injured herself and broke the egg.” “Do you think it time that Mr. Blaine should retire from politics?” “All I know is, that he has been retired.” “Do you think Mr. Arthur conla have been elected?” “The best answer I can make to that is that we find it easier in our own country to ‘round up’ common and tame beef than likely and active steers. We prefer an easy round up, but the difficulty Is the beef is no good when yon get it.” In order to give Stephen the first an opportunity to express his contempt for Stephen the second, which seemed fairly boiling out of him, he was asked: “What do yon think of Mr. Elkins’ management of the canvass?” “I have always admired the great benefit that comes from baby-farming. The trouble in this case seems to be that the milk wasn’t good. I presume Elkins was furnishing all the wet nurses teats from his brain. Whether the teats or the brain ’ was short, I am not snre. Boys in short dresses shouldn’t try to be schoolmasters. Pretension defrauds none but the pretenders. Between pretension and idiocy there is no lining.” He was then asked if he thought Cleveland would make a good President, and replied: “Well, I don’t know. I've heard it said that vines hold np trees, but my belief is the vines hold np the leaves. Dan Manning and Joe Pulitzer and the other sisters of charity will have to yank that cradle pretty lively to keep the baby awake, but from my experience with them I know their power of yanking.”