Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 November 1884 — Mishaps of a Day. [ARTICLE]

Mishaps of a Day.

“What’s in a name ?” asked the poet. Mr. William Algernon Day would have answered, “Everything.” It is not considered in accordance with the laws of social etiquette to pun on any one’s name, but the opportunity is seldom allowed to pass. Mr. Button is introduced to a mixed company, and some person is sure to ask jocularly: “Button, button, who’s got the button ?” Mr. Penny is assailed with the inquiry, “Is he a bad penny returned?” Mr. Goedenough is asked why he need not be any better than he is. Mr. Ham is pleasantly reminded that he is “rather fresh.” The victims of these names smile and endure, but it becomes verywearying—very. Mr. I>ay would gladly have exchanged nappes with any of those gentlemen. It seemed to him that people were never at a load for a pun on his cognomen. It tookthe most serious turn, however, when he fell in love with Miss Yan Bergen, who had a terrible younger brother. This appalling infant saluted him with the freedom of a prospective relationship. He was forever on hand with his “Good Day,” “Every Day,” and when forgetful for a moment of the combination he asked his charmer to “name the happy Day,” a muffled voice responded from under the sofa ; “Smother Day!” He made a point out of that source of his misery, however, when he called on his future father-in-law to ask for the fair mand of his daughter. The lover e sized on the post-prandial hour as the most felicitous for his purpose, •and found Herr Yan Bergen seated in a rocking-chair, flanked by a sideboard on which, some generous Rhine wines gleainj*d. ( It was raining, and the ambrosial'locks of the young man wore gemmed with drops of soft water. The pater did not recognize him. “My name is Day,” he stammered. “A chi nnd a werry wet Day you are, mine friend.” “No, sir,” answered the lover, standing up to the rack like a man, and glapcing parenthetically at the array of bottles’ “I’m a very dry Day, just now* The old man roared, and they drank each other’s health and toasted the future Mrs. Day. At the wedding which soon followed there was some embarrassment, caused by the beet man getting oft' his balance and wishing them “many happy returns: •of the Day,” but, all ended well, and nothing, occurred to mar them felicity until their first Sunday at church. Then, by one of those strange coincidents xyith which life abounds, the minister had chosen for his text the verse: “Sufficient unto the Day is the evil thereof. ” But this was not all. By a j series of fatalities the choir sang: Oh, happy I)aj-,.thst fixed my choice, Aud when they reached home the bride declared she wofild not attend that church again. She peisonally resented the want of intuition which made such blunders possible. -Mr. Day had heard of the man who i was . 1 Hog by name and hog by natur, - ’ • -But Hodge by act ot Leglslatur. He at once made up his mind and never ceased his efforts until he had reached legislative halls' and had the prefi? O attached to his name. When a punster attempts ,to climh that amended handle he is thrown ev,ery time, and a happier family man the O’Days it would bg hard to find.— Mrs. M, L. Mayne * in Detroit Free Press.