Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 November 1884 — Page 7

Cannot Retaliate.

“I wish I was an editor," exclaimed a poor devil of a doctor (albeit a very good doctor). “Want a ehance to work nights, I suppose," said a reporter, who was laboring to so mold a doubtful fact as to make it at once readable and probable. “Yes, or day times; it wouldn’t matter much, provided it was some time. But that’s not my reason for wishing I was an editor!" “What particular grievance have you t'ot? Perhaps I can swing your shillaah for you and close your aching void, both at the same time. Loose the animile!" ■ “Don’t you think it’s about time for railroad companies to relieve their patrons of the importunities of news agents ?" “No, sir, Ido not! The time is long past when the patrons of railroads should have taken a Judge Lynch with them, and a competent and strictly business jury and every telegraph pole should have been made interesting to tourists and coroners.' ‘Butcher the butchers!’ should have been the motto of passengers long ago. ” “Mind! I don’t object to the newsboy who passes through the cars with the daily papers, but I do to the impertinent and importunate fiend who seems to be an escaped graduate of Chatham street; the pest who, from morning until night, makes tired passengers wish either that they were at their journey’s end, or that they could have the satisfaction of hearing the wheels grinding over him and his obtrusive wares. Up engine-ward he seems to have a grocery, a book and periodical store, a cigar and tobacco stand, a toy store, a news stand, a fruit store, and a curiosity shop, and during the day you are importuned to buy each and every article in each and every establishment. “I, for one, don’t believe that when I buy a ticket and go aboard a train, the company haß any right to sen 4 aboqrtj, a fiend to torment mej that when my wife anj 1 take possession of a seat, a train ‘butcher’ has a right to any portion of it for storage purposes, or that I am compelled to act as a shelf for its wares, and I to-day acted upon that belief. Soon after we started this morning I purchased a newspaper for myself and a magazine for my wife, though, goodness knows, she didn’t get a chance to read a word of it! As I paid the youth for them, I said: ' Now, young man, this is all the literature we shall want to-day. We shall want no political taffy in pamphlet form, extolling jbhe virtues of candidates; we take no active interest in the James gang, the Younger brothers, the Benders, Guiteau, or any other of your corps of assassins ; we desire no illustrated weeklies showing the last days of the murderers, or the last legs of the ladies of the ballet; our necessities do not include wormy figs,cholera-morbus apples, peppermint prize packages, vegetable-ivory trinkets, 1879 confectionery, or any other part of your carefully selected rubbish. Moreover, we .have use for this seat —the whole of it, and shall most strenulouslv object to holding any of your stock in trade, the more especially as our sick baby is competent to tire out all the lap-room we have. Therefore, my boy, in your commercial wanderings through this car, just skip us!’ “About three minutes later, just as I had got fairly ensconced behind my paper, my wife exclaimed: * For goodness’ sake, take them away!’ I dropped my paper, only to find that butcher holding in front of her a basket of green, wormy, and withered apples, while the puling, fretful child was in the very nice act of biting one pf them. I knocked it out of her hand and informed that boy if he brought any more of his stuff near me I’d break every bone in his body, to which he replied : * Guess not! i pays for selling on this ’ere train, and if you break any bones you’ll pay for ’em, and don’t you forget it!’ “It took my wife and me a long time to pacify Dollie for the loss of her apple, but we succeeded at last, and got her to sleep lying across our knees. My wife laid her tired and aching head back against the window shade and closed her eyes, while I once more commenced reading the paper. And what do you think the authorized train butcher did ?” “Something pleasant, no doubt.” “Came along and chucked a twopound railway guide down upon her stomach, and nearly drove the wind out of her body. Ye gods! how I would like a job doctoring that boy and the Superintendent of the railroad!”—Detroit Free Press.

An Astonishing Story.

A dog belonging to the B—s, which was a great favorite of theirs, and regarded as of thoroughly irreproachable training, was charged by some of their neighbors with worrying sheep at night. The family rebutted this charge, on the ground that the dog was fastened up in* their kitchen at night, and was never let out until the servants came down in the morning. The farmers, however, persisted that they knew the dog well, and had seen him going from the sheepfold, though he had managed to escape them. When this was urged so strongly as to make it imperative on the B—s to take some further steps, one of the daughters volunteered to sleep in the kitchen and watch the dog’s behavior. When they made up the young lady’s bed the dog seemed very restless and stragge, but by and by he settled down and all was silent. A little after midnight he got up, came to the bed, and sniffed about until he was satisfied himself the lady was not awake. Then he the window seat, lifted the catajf of the abutters, and opened them.jragaflgifffij undid the kteh of the he opened, tM^isanoeared. g -interval le; came back, closed and ffftH shutters, and 'flnishM by licking his own feet and the marks which he had left by springing on the fk or. To the terror of the seefniog sleeper, he row came and closely scrutinized her; but she kept still, and he at last crept off to his own bed/ As soon as she heard the servants

stirring the lady rose softly and slipped through the door. But the guilty dog had marked her. He sprang up and made a dash at her with most undisguised fury, for he saw that his secret was discovered and his character blasted by one whom he now regarded as a hateful spy. Fortunately, she got the door fast just in time, and at once alarmed the house. But the dog was now so furious that no one dared go into the kitchen, and at last a gun was brought, pointed through an aperture, and he was shot dead. —Petland Revisited .

Aggressive Poultry.

Sister Grimes, after hearing the announcement from the pulpit of the annual camp-meeting, at once determined to go. “Es the weather parmits,” she said to her friend, Miss Simpkins, “and Providence is willin’, I shall go an’ stay through the meetin’.” Accordingly the ancient hair trunk was packed and Sister Grimes set out. The first few miles were uneventful and were passed in counting the telegraph poles and musing upon the infinite. Suddenly a change came over the spirit of her dreams. She sat upright, with a startled expression, which soon changed to one of indignation. Suddenly she faced about, and addressing a mild-looking man with a white neck-cloth who sat behind her, inquired in a voice of terror: “What do you mean by insulting me in this manner?” “Indeed, madam ” “You needn’t indeed, madam, me. You know you did it, and you needn’t deny it, you sanctimonious old hypocrite.” “Pray excuse me, madam, but ” “I won’t excuse you, you reprobate. ” “What is the matter, madam?” inquired the conductor, who was attracted by Miss Grimes’ indignant tones. “Why, this old sinner has been insulting me. ” “What has he done, madam?” “He has—well, he has been pinching my ank- that is, my feet.” “Ma<?am,” said the solemn-looking man, “what a monstrous fabrication.” “Suppose you arise for a moment,” suggested the conductor. “There, he’s just done it again!” screamed Sister Grimes. “Bless my soul!” ejaculated the accused. Sister Grimes leaped from her seat to the aisle, with fire in her eye, and the conductor pulled from beneath the seat a large bag, from a hole in which protruded the head of a large gamecock, glaring fiercely about and lunging with his powerful beak at whatever lay near. “Madam,” said the solemn-looking man, “you see it was your own wretched bird £hat has done the mischief. You have accused an innocent man of a heinous offense, while you, yourself, are on your wav to attend a cock-fight. Thus it is that Satan betrays his followers.”— Boston Globe.

Rhyming Table of Presidents.

I noticed, a week or tVo ago, an inquiry concerning a rhyming list of the Presidents of the United States. I had a recollection of having clipped several such lists from papers, and looked them up. The tersest, and therefore the easiest and most useful, for memorizing is the inclosed: The American Presidential line Began in seventeen eighty-nine. By Washington was tlie list, began, Who ruled two terms, then Adams one; Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Sat tor two t rms each; and so John Quincy Adams came for one, While Jackson through two terms did run; Harrison tied and left four years For Tyler; one term Polk appears; When Taylor d ed and left three years For Fillmore: one term next for Pierce And for Buchanan; Lincoln then Was shot as his second term began. And Johnson sat until came Grant For two terms; Hayes for one; and scant Four months for Garfield, who was killed, And Arthur the vacant office filled. —New York Mail.

A Boy Who Never Sweats.

There is a boy in Putnam County, Tennessee, a son of Jefferson Lee, 10 years of age, who, owing to the peculiar nature of his skin, has never been known to sweat a drop of perspiration in his life. Another phenomenal feature connected with the boy is that he has only four teeth, and he had those when born, having never cut nor shed any since bis birth. He is very much affected by the he gets exceedingly warm and is compelled, in order to live at all, to keep his headland body wet with cold water, and falls off to almost a skeleton, but when winter comes and cold weather sets in he is enabled to dispense with his bath and grows fat. He is said to be a sprightly boy, with plenty of sense.

In Poland the stones of engagement rings are chosen according to the month in which the engagement was made—the ruby for July, the pearl for May, the sapphire for January, for March the turquoise, which, it is believed, will turn green upon the inconstancy of the giver. The emerald, given in June, is for fidelity, and the Russians expect to have one emerald among the wedding gifts from the husband; it is the omen of certain happiness.

The Wises of "Virginia have been noted for generations as a dueling family, but they have not always accepted the challenges sent to them. It is related of Henry A. Wise that a minor politician named Finney challenged him, the message reaching him while he was playing cards. He looked up from his hand, took the challenge, and, after glancing over it, said, contemptuously: “No, tell Mr. Finney I will not fight him. I would as soon shoot at a poor blind girl. ” A deaf family in New Hampshire has beenZjtraeed back to the fourteenth.century in England, and in all that time lias regularly shown a succession of deaf mutes. In Maine there is a family in which there are ninety-five deaf mutes, all of them connected by blood or marriage. “Next to everlasting life,” says an atheist, “what is better than eternal sleep?" Nothing for yon. A man who cannot enjoy this world can hardly be expected to enjoy the next.

News of the Victories

Won by Hostetter's Stomach Bitters over disease are almost daily received by its proprietors. For over a third of a century it has been the theme of constant and grateful acknowledgments from those whom it has cared or protected from disease, from medical men who have watched its effects and adopted it, and from a host of other sources. A noticeable concurrence in this mass of testimony as to the thoroughness of its effects is observable. This point specially commends itself to the consideration of persons afflicted with obstinate forms of the maladies to which ft is adapted, against? which ordinary remedies have proved unavailing. Fever and ague, chronic constipation and dyspepsia, long and increasing debility, confirmed h,liousness. and rheumatism are among the forms of disease wh oh most frequently defy medication. and to the eradication of these maladies the Bitters is specially suited. It is pare, speedy, and agreeable.

A Blunt Partisan.

The patriots of New England who labored to secure self-government for the colonies had to encounter their neighbors who were devoted to the King and Parliament. Among these loyalists were found, here and there, a clergyman who thought it his duty to preach the submission of subjects and the rights of rulers. One of these clergymen was the Rev. Mr. Chase, of Portsmouth, N. H., who numbered among his congregation Capt. John Blunt, shipmaster and farmer. On the birth of the Captain’s sixth boy, it was determined after a family consultation, to name him William, and he was carried to the church to be christened. It happened on that Sunday morning that the Rev. Mr. Chase, bent on eradicating the growing disloyalty of his people, preached a sermon in denunciation of Oliver Cromwell, a blasphemous revolutionist. Capt. Blunt, being an outspoken patriot, determined to resent the minister’s attack on the Puritan hero. “What is his name ?” asked his clergyman, as the child was placed in his arms. “Oliver Cromwell,” replied the Captain in a distinct voice. “What—what did you say, sir?” asked the amazed minister, gasping as if he had been struck. “Oliver Cromwell, sir,” said the Captain, in a voice as stentorian as if shouted to his men in a gale. And the boy was christened Qliver Cromwell Blunt.— Youth's Companion.

The new Upright Pianos of Mason & Hamlin are highly praised by good judges. They possess a lefinement of musical tone whieb charms the connoisseur and all who hear it. This is owing largely to the new system of their construction. The great experience of Mason & Hamlin in their organ business, with the aid of their large corp 3 of superior musical and mechanical experts, has enabled them, after several years of expensive experiments, to produce a piano which bids fa’r to do more for their reputation than even their famous organs have accomplished. Their chief improvement consists in securing the strings by metallic fastenings, instead of pins held by friction, which renders it easy to put the three strings of each tone exactly in unison, and thereby produce tones of wonderful sweetness and purity. Messrs. Mason & Hamlin have made 150,003 cabinet organs. '1 hey can hardly hope to reach this number of pianos, but we doubt not their new “uprights” will command a very largo sale.— Bouton Traveller.

Rainbow Rocks of the Yellowstone.

From a natural platform at the very edge of the lower falls, the sight-seer can look 400 feet upward to the top of the heavily wooded banks, and down to the foot of the falls, 309 feet. It is not over forty feet from this natural platform to the other side of the river, and the volume of water compressed into this narrow space is enormous; but as soon as it passes it is transformed into snowy, fleecy foam, and from below rises a thick mist as the water is hurled upon the rocks that break its fall. Grand as are the falls themselves, the Grand Canyon really gives to the scene its unrivaled charm. One may see turrets, towers, pillars and cones, and hundreds of other fantastic shapes, according as the reins of fancy are loosed. The colors of the rocks include every tint of the rainbow. Below this is a stratum of brown rock, gradually shading into red. Then come orange, or yellow, violet and white limestone. Yonder is a bright, red tower, and beside it is a pillar of black flintstone. Below is a white cone, above a purple arc. —Correspondence Boston Times.

* * * The worst pile tumors cured in ten days, rupture in one month. Pamphlet two (Bc.) stamps. World’s Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. Why is a lady’s foot like a locomotive? Because it moves in advance of a train. Horsfortl’s Acid Phosphate. IN IMPAIRED NERVE FUNCTION. Dr. C. A. Fernald, Boston, Mass., says: “I have used it in cases of impaired nerve function, with beneficial resu.ts, especially in cases where the system is affected by the toxic action of tobacco.” It Is hard to run a newspaper unless it can stand alone. —Whitehall Time «. Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound is to be bad at the nearest drug store for a dollar. It is not claimed that this remedy will cure every disease under the sun; but that it does all that it claims to do, thousands of good women know and declare. The wages of the paragrapher—his ink come. —Uouvcrncur Herald.

Why Will You Diet?

Scovill’s Sarsaparilla, or Blood and Liver Syrup, for the cure of scrofulous taint, rheumatism, white swelling, gout, goitre, consumption, bronchitis, nervous debility, malaria. and all di-eases arising from an impure condition of the blood. Certificates can be presented from many leading physicians, ministers, and the heads of families throughout the land, indorsing Scovill’s Blood and Liver Syrup. We are constantly in receipt of certificates of cures from the most reliable sources, and we recommend it as the best known remedy for the cure of the above diseases.

Young Men, Read This.

The Vodtaic Belt Co., of Marshall, Mich., offer to send their celebrated Electro-Vol-taic Belt and other Electric Appliances on trial for thirty days, to men (young or oldi afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vitality abd manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also for rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis, and marty other diseases. Complete re-toration to health, vigor, and manhood guaranteed. No risk is incurred, as thirty days’ trial is allowed. Write them at once for illustrated namoblet free.

A Blood Purifier.

As a blood purifier tbe Compound Oxygen Treatment of Drs. ctarkey & i alen, llOu Girard st., Phila., has no equal It is taken by inhalation, and gives a larger supply of oxygen to the lungs than is contained in common air, and so rapidly purifies the blood and vitalizes tbe whole system. Write for a Treatise on Compound Oxygen. It will be sent free.

How Women Differ from Men.

At least three men on the average jury are bound to disagree with the rest just to show that they've got minds of their own; but there is no disagreement among the women, as to the merits of Dr. P.eroe's< '■'Favorite Frtnerifjtuit:." They are all unanimous in pronoonc n* it the best remedy in the world for all thase chronic diseases, weaknesses, and complaints peculiar to their sex. It translorn* the pale, haggard, dispirited woman into one of sparkling health, and the ringing laugh again "reigns supreme’’in the happy household.

Cousin Fanny complains at the rid cu'ous complaints of men about crinoline. Why so? Because they only cover two leet.

Human Calves.

An exchange says: “Nine-tenths of the unhappy marriages result from human calves being allowed to run at large In society pastures." Nine-tenths of the chronic or Unger* ing diseases of to-day originate in impure blood, liver complaint, or biliousness, resulting in scrofula, consumption (which is but scrofula of the lungs), sores, ulcers, skin diseases and kindred affections. Dr. Pierce’s "Golden Medical Discovery” cures all these. Of druggists. What is the easiest and best way to expand the chest. 1 ’ By having a good heart iu it.

Important.

When you visit or leave New York City, save Baggage Kxpresaage and Carriage Hire, and stay at the Grand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot; «00 elegant rooms fitted up at a cost of one million dollars, reduoed to tl and upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Restaurant supplied with the best. Horse cabs, stage, and elevated railroad to all depots. Families can live better for less money at the Grand Union than at hny first-class hotel in the city.

"Put up” at the Gault House.

The business man or tourist will find firstclass accommodations at the low price of $2 and $2.60 per day at the Gault House, Chicago, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This fur-lamed hotel is located In the center of the city, only one block from tho Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments first-class. H. W. Hoyt, Proprietor. For Relieving Throat Troubles and Coughs, “ Brown’s Bronchial Troches” have a worldwide reputation. Sold only in boxes. Price §5 tents. Since last October I have suffered from acute inflammation in my nose and head—often In the night having to getaup and inhale salt and water for relief. My eyo hasbeen, for a week at a time, so I could not see.i I have used no end of remedies, also employed a doctor, who said it was impure blood—but I got no help. Ijcsed Ely’s Cream balm on the recommendation' of a friend. I was faithless, but in a few days was ourod. My nose now, and al jo my eye, Is well. It is wonderful how quick It helped mo. Mns. Georgia S_. Jupsor. Hartford, Conn. Easy to use. Price 50 coats.

The Farm, Fit'll and Shtokman, of Chicago, Is the leading agricultural paper of the country. The publisher is 8) ending more labor and money than ever before to hold the dls tinotlon the paper has enjoyed for the past eight years, of the largest circulation among tho bost peop'e. While it is agricultural in name yet it has a large amount of spaoe in each Issue for home and literary entertainment. One of the most fascinating stories ever, written is now running in its oolumns. Bead their advertisement in this Issue. Mznsman’s Peptonized Beep Tonic, the only preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious properties. It contains bloodmaking, force-generating, and life-sustaining pioperties; invaluable for Indigestion, dys>cpsla, nervous prostration, and all formß of oneral debility; also, in all enfeebled conditions, whether tho result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, over-work, or acute disease, jarticularly If resulting from pulmonary jomplaints. Caswell, Hazard & Co., proprieors, New York, gold by druggists. Stinging Irritation,lnflammation,all Kidney & Urinary Complaints,cured by "liucliu-Paiba. sl. Rheumatism is clearly a species of blood poison ng, that is, the blood of the victim is ioi mealed by unhealthy and obstructive acids that penetrate the entiro system, and give rise to those racking pains that make life a burden. The reason that Atblophoros is to successful in dea'in r with this disease is that it at once destroys the cause. Price, ?1 p.*r b ittie. If your druggist hasn’t it, send lo Athlophcros Co., 112 Wall gt., N. Y, Nervous Weakness. Dyspepsia, Sexual Debility, cured by "Wells' Health Kcnower.” sl. We can assure any person having a bald head or troubled wita dandruff that Carboliae, a deodorized extract of petroleum, will do all that is claimed for it It will not stain the most delicate fabric and is delightfully perfumed. “Rough on Pain.”—Quick cure,Cramps,Nenralgia, Rheumatism, Aches, Pains, Sprains.Heod ache. If afflicted with Sore Eyes, use Dr. Isaoe Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c. "Rough on Coughs,” Troches, Isc; Liquid, 26c;forCoughs,Colds,Sore Throat,Hoarseness.

ARREST!! ALL DISEASES 07 THE THROAT AND LUNGS BY THE TIMELY USE OF ALLEN’S LONG BALSAM BTRICTLY PURE, Harmless to the inoet Delicate 1 By it* faithful use CONSUMPTION HAS BEEN CURED when other Remedies and Physicians have failed to effect a cure. Jeremiah Wright, of Marlon County,W.Va., writes us that hit wife had Pulmonary Consumption, and was pronounced incurable by their physician, when the use of Allen’s Lung Bilsam entirely cubed her. He writes that he and his neighbors think it the best medicine in the world. Wm. C. Digues, Merchant of Bowling Green, Vawrites, April 4th, 1881, that he wanta us to know that the Lung Balsam has Cured his Mother of Consumption, after the physician had given her up as incurable. He says others knowing her case nave taken the Balsam and been cured; he thinks all so afflicted should give it a trial. Dr. Meredith, Dentist of Cincinnati, was thought to be in the last Htages op Consumption, and was induced by his friends to try Allen’s Lung Balsam after the formula was shown him. We have his letter that it at once cured his cough and that he was able to resume his practice. Wm. A. Graham & Co.. Wholesale Druggists, Zanesville, Ohio, write us of the cure of Mathias Freeman, a well-known citizen, who had been afflicted with Bronchitis in its worst form for twelve years. The Lung Balsam cured him, as it has many others, of Bronchitis. It is Mess to die lost ielicate drill! !! contains no Opium in any fora! Recommended by Physicians, Ministers and Nurses. In fact, by everybody who has given it a good trial. It Never Fails to Brins Reflet Call for Allen’s Lung Balsam, and shun the use ot »U remedies without merit and an established reputw tion. As an Expectorant it lias no Equal 1 SOLD BY ALL MEDICINE DEALERS. fcl Address VALENTINE BROS-, .larwsyjlle. Wis. , KIDPER'B PASTILiSSSS gPßMDgßlqpßHßßCbsjdestowD, Msgs. SEND YOUR NAME To C. B. SCHMIDT. Commissioner of Immigration, A. T. & S. F- R. R., Topeka, Kan., and he will tend to you FREE, maps, pamphlets, etc., giving information about Lands, Stock-raising, Farming, Fruit-growing, Mining, Manufacturing etc., in Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, California or Old Mexico, and about the splendid opportunities now offered in the SotttbwesL COUNTRY REWSPIPERS~ Supplied with partly-printed sheets in the most satis-

THE SURE CURE FOR 1 KIDNEY DISEASES, LIVER COMPLAINTS, CONSTIPATION, PILES, AND BLOOD DISEASES. | PHYSICIANS ENDORSE IT HEARTILY. 1 “Kldn.y-Wort la th. most touch—ful remedy I few used.” Dr. P. C. Ballou, Moakton, Vt. “Kidney-Wort U always reliable,'’ Dr. 8.. K. Clark, So. Hero, Vt. “Kidney-Wort has cured my w lfe after two years suffering." Dr. C. K. Summerlin, Bun Hill, Qa. IN THOUSAND* OF CASKS it has ourod where ell else had felled. It ie mild, bot efficient, CERTAIN IN ITS ACTION, but Tiamiin— in All oum. tr Iteleaaeee the Blood and Strengthens and given New Life to all the important organa of the body. The natural action of the Kidneys is reetored. The Uver la cleansed of all disease, and the Bowels move freely and hoalthfhlly. In this way the worst dlssaaas art eradicated ftmn the system. m raid, si. oo uqcni aa dbt, sou by dbcmmib. Drv osn bt Mnt br niAll. WUU^RICHASMONAC^SarUagtanYa AGENTS WANTED for the beet and tastest-seUmg Pictorial Books and Bibles. Prices reduced SI per oeut. National Pcbushino Co., Chicago, 111. PATENTS Nand-Book FREE; I ft | fall I K.fUA.r. LACEY, Patent Att’ys, Washington, D. C. SdJgaaj CM® TCbCAkt a disease of the muDfVilitvl cous membrane, It H£M7!«^CIIDn>COV* 1 l generally originates in Hf *** I i li j“f ■ P-ae- and VBNaSflftlft tfl EAQI hold In the head. From wiiM/rrvrihKtnj Jy A i* 11 * poillt il Bpndß W MAY rLVLH na forth »i'ui»c,mni« viniH (|a|a/ iWS jfA I along tho membranous lining* and through at fH the digestive organs, corrupting the blood troublesome dau- ' Cream Halm is a UV- , l remedy based upon n Iris’ v U.BA. |correct diagnosis of rfkytf'ii «“■ and. can MlaY ‘■lp t y Elf be depended upon. :>o ■ ~ “ .■» cents at Druggists’: t(0 cents by mall, registered. Sample bottio, by mail, 10 cents. ELY HROTHBtS. Druggists. Owego, N.Y. Sawing Made Easy. KOKABOH LIOHTHIHQ SAWING MACHOS r«. Agent*Wanted. Hla now* tn.'rf* mMI,. WOWARCHXFO CO., (A) 200 Bute Bt., Chicago, lU. mTI FT IN Well Boring * ■ irrm Rook Drilling i MACHINERY! A For Horse or Bteam Power fi Hundreds of the best men in DO HUtes I and Territories uso It and will have no D RELIABLE! DURABLE! SIMPLE! I Established over 35 yeare.we have ample ■ (acllltles to All orders promptly, and Ml to satisfaction of our customers. Cata- 11l logue rnik. Address "ski LOOMIS A NYMAN, Tlffln, Ohio.

"I'd ’> 11 graduate of throe universities, nnd retired uftor W> yearn’ practice, ha • ’’T l "' work is priceless In value, uml calculated to re- ■ It Is new, stnrtllng, nnd very Instructive. 1 ' tt *» **“• most popular and comprehensive book treating ui waEWMBWroBBI MEDICAL, SOCIAL, AND SEXUAL SCIENCE, 1 B r ®V«n by the tale Of Huir a Million to bo tho most, popula R -ell wHPivailllHMtt •* eadoble because written in language plain, ohmite, and foreibl M IW/uirisTitV*l ingnMHll I netructivo, practical presentation of "Mtdlonl Common Sense” inedi A yffiSSHwiSJlil * Hluable to invalids, showing new means by which they may lie '.'lire D still M&mKwm ft PPfOVMI by editors, physicians, clergymen, critics, and lileratT R Mt'fvir.AJU illl WiiSmefitiiraifi X norougn treatment of subjects especially Important to young meN tyU^t^^||«MllMßßll[Bßl E veryono who "wants to know, you know,” will find It interestln Q 4 PartB * 30 Chapters, 036 Pages, 200 Illustrations, nnd WWMa nkw feature, of beautiful colored iinulomKjhn, . •>/fiwßl§|MflfflWßfiHH *«•* charts, in five colors, guaranteed superior to any before offered in a popH|£“rnr'*arTfWß)gssyjMßll ular physiological book. nnd rendering it again the most attractive and quickp* 'Sii wlßilMßEai<aaiw«H sellfiut Aft T? Vf r |'C who havuolrcady found a gold mine in it Mr. ft work ’ >>r Auilli lo Koehler writes: •• I sold the first six books in two '■MMESmggmn hours. ” Many agents take 50 or 100 lit once, at special rates. Send for terras. Kfe W Jjl : itHHßy|D|) L'T? * 16-page Contents Table of I’lnln Home Talk, rod, white and CIV VdSlt blue circulars, arid a sample of Dr. Fools'* Health Monthly. BtSSSaraRyPaBBSIBSi-. Standard Edition, $3.28 I Rome print and illustrations, tho WS&w? Popular Edition, 1.80 5 differenoo is in pnperund binding. MURRAY HILL PUB. C 0„ Ifo (N.) East 28th St., New York.

I $25.1 WATCH FOR ONLY $5.27. 100,000 watches leas than cost to maks. BEAD OUR OTTER: A CHANCE AND BARGAIN OF A LIFETIME. _ What all newspapers mast have to live Is subscribe TwAnfv. dwllillwWh *TS. A large subscription list brings lienvy advertising I noiltj patronage, This sale of advertising spscols what pays thepub- ,, ttw lisher, NOT thi soßSoaimoNß to his paper. We have adopted f IVA fw « the following honest and squaro plan to get 100,000 new subscribWm mW ers. A contract is signed in which we have bound ourselves to Dollars ■ H take inside of GO day. *» %WmJB 100,000 AMERICAN LEVER WATCHES. MO 7 The Watch is a Key Winding Watch with the Celebrated ■ls I Anchor Lever Movement, Expansion Balance, Fully Jeweled. They are made of iho best material and in the very best manner, so an to insure good time-keeping qualities. The Cases are mads Of the celebrated metal known as Aluminum Gold. This metal has a sufficient amount of gold ■ In tho composition to givo the watch a genuine gold appearance. Indoed, It cannot be told from jjg939yP>g<4f£3raßßQs£flß|3?wikV a Genuine Gold Watch except by tho best judges. MWaMi6>,\ They am finely engraved or engine turned and aro massive and strong and very handsome, making It j |lßt thowntch for all who require a good strong watch and an nmirale timekeeper. For *™ding and simulative pur | loses. it is sujs'rior to ar.> l- fi iv offer. -"Id readily for S2O each, and traded lor horses, rattle, ■s Mm ,'i . t SS 'jh etc ” *“ “* to double this amount. I CONDITIONS tStiJr&gSZ fwl watch for leu than rout. Stead WMSffI&jntSSmSWWW&WHUMnmSSMWmtt ana profit Ay our contract. .Vo inch IEjMIEc a fair offer wai ever made before ! Es Wo will send this watch to any part of the United States by registered nmii orloC’niindn by Ex■•W®SoVwßl ■ • * press upon receipt of 8,1.27. (This is less than cost.] Each and every person who takes this watch at gSWfflWMßHC*i*uffliMlßßjPffj9B3F this pricc( sr>.27 Jmust agree to show it to their friends IF nml tell them liow and where they got it. Positively this must be done.and upon receiving the wntch mnst sign and return the following fair contract: In com! deration ot the feet that the publisher of the Farm, Field and Stockman has sold me the Amerleu Lever Haul- 1 l»t Ceee Welsh for $6,27, which wetoh I have received end Bnd exactly ae represented, therefore I promise in one peer from date to tend one dollar for the Farm, Field and Stockman, tame beink payment for the paper tent je me during the entire pest jrter. Dated at ,1884. Bi(ned, i 1010IEY REQUIRED ON THE PIPER TILL YOU HAVE HAD IT ONE YEAR. In ordering the watch you must say in yonr letter that if it is as represented and after a thorough examination of ten days the watch gives satisfaction you will fill out, sign and return a blank contract like the above, which to amt with each watch. Our loss your gain, and haw we are going to make anything out of this transaction. Someone asks, “How do yog make upyogr less?” Simply This way. We lose money at first, but it will bo good advertising. Every person who gets a watch will be a subscriber. “How do you know f" Why, a man that gets our watch will stay with us because he has got double What he paid for. On this lot of 100,000 watches we shall lose fifty thousand dollars, but this low will secure us 100,000 new subscribers to oar paper, which will make our subscription list over 250,000. With our present circulation of 150.000 subscribers, our advertising patronage Is #40,000 n year, and wi hava 8,000 lines of space per month which, with our Increased list, wilf make our receipts from this source alone 8120,000 for the year. Deducting loss on watch, and current expense*, wifi leave ns a profit of about gSO.OOO for the year. Furthermore, o>oaM pur estimate on advertising receipts prove too large, we will have due us from subscribers SIOO,OOO, which we count good, as every watch will have proved so good that every man to sure to pay. You see now how we propose to lots money to make money and give every person a benefit and sell the watch lets than cod to manufacture. We know this offer will demoralize the watch business of this country, but it is evenr man for himself In this age of newspaper war, and if we give our readers a watch THAT WILL, COMPARE and la as good as any one Baud rod HOLLAR watch for 85.27 we propose to do Jt and give them the benefit of our capital. In this way we benefit our subscribers and by so doing help ourselves as welL It is no (die boast to nay that tMk u aU-h looks as well at a Hundred-dollar ripeater. Reader, there Is an immense amount of satisfaction in displaying a beautiful watch. Here is an opportunity for you to show a watch a* beauUful.for t 5.27 as Jour rich neighbor shows for one hundred dollars. TO (SHOW THAT dull OFFER IS SQUARE we will send » dopy*! the paper and the American Lever Watch by express. C. O. D., subject to examination, upon receipt of #1.50 to guarantee charges both ways. The receiver accepting thb watch will have to p*ya balance of's3.T7 and express charges to his place. Where *5.27 cash is sent in advance, we pay all charges and guarantee safe delivery. This is your opportunity. Don’t set it pa**; if you do yon will regret it. The offer is open for sixty days from date. If yon want to make husband, brother or friend a handsome present, this is ycuff time.’ Send money by express, poetofflee order, postal note or registered letter. Will take 2-cent postage jrtaimi*. FARM, FIELD ANg BTOOKMAM, Bryant Block, 87 *B9 Dearborn

• * • • LTWA K.*FINKHAM'S * ! .* fesSß VEGETABLE COMPOUND , iW’5 WB •••w APOOITIVI COBB FOB*** • VTwv' ZS thoss painful Cemplalata • * and Weaknesses as common * • ** , * < *teoagk—t »•»**• FOFULATCON.• • iSEssaSsSSSSSp • It will cure entirely all Ovarian troubles InfUmma, Ron and Ulceration, F .iUog and DisplaceraentslSJd breach a, 1« al way. permanently MASON & HAMLIN STYLES ORGANS *•900? HIGHEST HONORS AT ALL GREAT WORLD’S EXHIBITIONS FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS. Only American Organs Awarded such at any. Fsr Cash, Easy Payments or Rented. Upright Pianos presenting v«ry hl«;he«t excellence ye t Attained In such instruments; adding to all previous improvements one of greater value than any; securing most pure, rosined, musical tones and increased to Kot ™ MASON A HAMLIN ORGAN AND PIANO CO., Boston, 154 Tremont St.; N. York, 46 E. 14th St.; Chicago, 140 Wabash At. BBiBP Btlllß AB| kart, er hair aa bald keeSa la lMe HBSfl 'JCfail'v work. wni prove It rfiee gar Faekagr wtsk Snßmm Bsalad and anetaaMi a eeaae, a snkKS Or persona of any prdfeaaion who contemplate establishing newspaper printing offices In Nebraska or Dakota should communicate with Thb Sioux Cm Nxwspapin Union. No. 216 Douglas street, Sioux City, lowa, and aave money. Geo. E. Brown & Go; AURORA, ILL. CLEVELAND BAY A ENGLISH DRAFT HORSES, and Aiiifluseu mill Exmoor POMES. Also CATTLE. head to select from. of prize winners at fairs in Europe and States. We keep our aupplieU with the specimens that z-iNB twelvo years’ experience enables us to procure from the most noted breeding districts In England and Hollaud. Prices reasonable and terms liberal. JOT* Send (or lliuslrsted Catalogue No. 18, *S“Mkntion this PAPEn.^Btr The Buyers’ Guide is issued Sept, uid March, each year: 224 pages, inches, with over 3,3ooillustrations — a whole picture gallery. Gives wholesale prices direct to consumers on all goods for scraonol or family use. 'ells how to order, and gives exact TA cost of everything you IB JV use, drink, eat, wear, or have fun with. Tliese invaluable hooks contain information gleaned from the markets of the world, we will mail a copy Free to any address upon receipt of tne postage —8 cents. Let us hear from you. Respectfully, MONTGOMERY WARD A CO. MI A BBS Wabaah Avenue, Uhiougu, }U. O.N.U. ’ No. 46-84. Y\T IiKN AVKITING TO ADVKUTIriKRS, vv please say you saw ike advertueiueut in tills paper.