Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 November 1884 — Taking the Starch Out of ’Em. [ARTICLE]

Taking the Starch Out of ’Em.

A knot of idlers stood upon the ena of a pier which ran out into the Hudson River,’ in one of the small towns near Albany, amusing themselves with hurling stones into the broad stream, each vying with his neighbor in the endeavor to pitch the missile to the farthest distance from the shore, when a tall, rugged-built "Vermonter, direct from the green hills, suddenly made his appearauce in their midst, and for awhile remained a quiet observer of their movements. He was a very brawny, strong-look-ing Yankee, and was very decently clad. The efforts of the little party had been exhibited over and over again, when the stranger picked up half a brick which lay near him, and giving it a jerk, it fell into the water a long way beyond the line which had as yet been reached by the foremost of the crowd. At the conclusion of this feat, a loud “bravo 1” went up from half a dozen voices around bim. It was a cold clear day in October, and the men, determined not to be outdone, renewed their attempts, but the Yefmonter, without saying a syllable to any one, continued to pitch pebbles far out into the stream, which seemed to annoy one in a green jacket, the apparent leader of the gang, wlic declared he “wouldn’t be beaten by a fellow right and straight out of the woods, nohow;” and sliding up to the stranger, he determined to make his acquaintance. “Where do you come from, neighbor?” he asked. “Me? Wal, I hails from Vermont, jes’ now, friend.” “Ain’t been in these parts long, I reckon ?” “Wal—no. Not edzactly yere—but up and daown, sorter.” “Yis, so I 'sposed.” “Yaas,” continued thegreen’un, carelessly, and seizing a large billot of wood, twirled it over his head, and it landed several rods from the shore in the water. "Yofc’ve a little strength in yOUr arms, neighbor.” “Some ‘punkins’ with them flippers, stranger; up in ourtaown a muntli ago, I.driv them knuckles right strait thru a hoard more’n a ninch’n haff thick.” “Haw, haw!” shouted the hearers, the man in the green jacket laughing the loudest. , “Maybesrou don’t believo it?” “Not milch,” answered the crowd. “We ain’t very green down here in York—we ain’t,” said the fellow in the green jacket-; “we’ve been about, you bet.*'“Wal, jes’look here, friend,” con- I tiftued the Vermonter, in the most p|ausi^j||]iianner; “#fe, in aour country, wfeyj| got A'.jaufty big river, considerin’ you’ve liearn on it. Wal, I hove a man clean across that river t’other day, and he o*mo down fair scrnaie on t’other sffie” .. - #' 'I % “Ha, Ha, lia,” yelled .the njnitjjbsl “Wal, naow, you may faff,but 1 kin deu it agin.” said jacket “Done,” said the Yankee, and drawing forth n. bill /iinnn a hrnlten. downEast bank) he covered the sfim-pleeter. - “Ken ye swim, feller?” “Like a duck,” said the green jacket . —and without further parley the Vermonter seized the knowing Yorker stoutly by the nape of the neck and the seat of the pants, jerked him from his foothold, and with an almost superhuman effort dashed him heelsover head, from the end of the docks, some two yards in the Hudson. A terrifio shout rang through the crowd as he floundered in-the water, and amid the .cheers and screams of his companions, the ducked,loa er put back to the shore and scratched up the bank, half frozen by this sudden and involuntary cold bath. “I’ll take that ten-spot, if you please,” said he, shivering rapidly, to the stakeholder. “You took us for greenhoyns, eh ? We’ll show yoii how to do things here in New York.” And the fellow claimed the S2O. “Wal, I reckon you won’t take no ten: spots jes’ yet, cap’n.” “Why? You lost the bet.” “Not edzactly. I didn’t calkilate on deuin’ it the fust time—but I tell yo’t I ken deu it,” and again in spit# of the loafer’s utmost efforts to escape him, he seized him by the neck and the Beat of his overalls, and pitched him three yards further into the river than upon the first trial. Again green jacket returned amid the shouts of his mates, who enjoyed the sport immensely. “Third time never fails,” said the Yankee, stripping off his coat; “I ken deu it, I tell ye.” “Hold on 1” said the almost petrified victim. “And I will den it—if I try till tomorrow mornin’. ” “I give it up l” shouted the sufferer, between his teeth, which now chattered like a mad badger’s—“take the money.” The Vermonter very coolly pocketed the stakes, and as hp turned away remarked : “We ain’t much acquainted with you smart folks daown here’n York, but we sometimes take the starch out of ’em up our way—and p’raps you wunt try it on strangers agin. I reck’n.you wunt,” he continued, and putting on a broad grin of good-humor, he left the company to their reflections. ” —Hare Bits.