Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 October 1884 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

Bough on rats—Chinamen. “Well, I declare!” exclaimed an editor, as he inspected the baby of an old newspaper friend—“if he isn’t a marked copy of the old gentleman!”—Burlington Free Press. At the rate they are slaughtering woodchucks in New Hampshire for the bounty on tails, the traveler won’t find roast spring lamb on the bill of fare much longer.— Boston Post. “Why don’t I tell the truth?” exclaimed Fegg. “I’ll tell you why. If I tell the truth I shame the devil; and I don’t want to make anybody feel uncomfortable, not even the enemy of the human race. ” Little Judith has made a discovery in natural philosophy. She guesses the flies always turn their faces to the wall because they are ashamed of themselves for being such horrid nuisances toereryboff.

“See herq,” he said to his clerk, “I don’t jmting you off for a day or two, now tibd then, to attend your grandfitjUfr® funeral; but I think you ouglffto hSVe the courtesy, to send a fey <4 around to my house. ” are raised in holy horror‘at'itKe; thought of some of- the GreqW eating their comrades. YeUWhen Black records of a hem Im devoured a pretty girl with hfr-JaH everybody applauds the * frrikgyegions are not without -their ptpaSOTes. The Esquimau girls are vajfcJKt|y, dance, sing, and do *fiot ice-cream. Hot drinks and are their peculiar vanitieCjJd' sealskin sacques are sold 'at two Iroiphoops and a tenpenny nail. She serene on the ocean, Wth shfe sank and rose. With hrnßalc. poetical motion— lie sweetest repose. But chanced to prose, And her i caused the greatest c:mnioA crab one of her toes. A famous Prussian General was inspecting, some military “What do I see fh«re/’ he said, in tones of thunder, t« a sergeant “Yes, qir,f »as the respectful reply; “we keep dfeni there to catch flies and prevent thqir teasing the bsrses.” A NoiEELMp roller-skate has been invented. There is probably no device the ingenuity of man can contrive that will ;make noiseless the man who uses such pkates th,e first time, and sits down upon the back of his head with his legs shooting hedvenwarsl. Nothing bist death. 7/ j *

One of our English cousins was re*' ceutly placed, pt Tanner'by the side of a charming woman who had been requested 'by* the hostess to amuse the strangeti Thfey were getting on very welßwlieh he drew attention to »guest Opposite by saying: “O, h say, d© look at that spotted nuin; did you ever see such an- object!?” And the lady'said, with much dignity, to step his prattle if possible: “Y’eU; that is my hus'fland.” And the wretch said: "O, bbw jdly, you‘know, because y oil can tell imK-ishe repUy spotted all over?” t \ he said; “I hbught a plate iof 1 .you on, slightly BHbdubff: “ ' . Naw, I’ll tell yow just vdiat kind, of 'Anne it you won’t have any tr<M|ble, I x noticed particularly . when I fraught it. It had its Japanese .name, ‘(fWl-y,- written on the bottom.” “Very ma’am,” was the- answer, : “but we have no more off those- in i stock”; and she does not know 'diat /‘Only” meant that the plate was the last df its kind. >■. DOT candidate. i "Whoish dot clakes me py-der hand,. Und speaks so awful nice uad bland, Dud uuges me-to Join his band? Dot candidate. "Who ish dot dreats me very achveed,, i Vernon de corner of der st«ed. We habbmi just&JWifla to meet? A Dot'candidate. Whpiisb <fot eiiigln’ Awful grtyv i Just like a lark ajl of' der day,: / 1 Mi&Biay #ings would fly away?.4 i ’IS 9 BDoS-cSndidate.. . Who ish dot.cjwjrp nb his head. i Undlwjshes fre vas o’nly dead?—' • « * Der odder nfan has vin, yauibed— Dot candidate.. —Non-istown