Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 July 1884 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

“Pa,” asked Walter, “what is a Buddhist?” "A Buddhist, my son,” replied pa, “is a—well—a sort of horticultural chap—you’ve heard of budding fruits, you know.”— Times-Democrat. A correspondent wants to know if there is more than one religions denomination that believes in feet-washing. It is sincerely to be hoped that there is. —Cincinnati Saturday Night. A camel will work for seven or eight days without drinking. In this he differs from some men who will drink/ seven or eight days without working.— Lowell Courier. “No, Laura, no. They do not open the campaign with a can-opener. They do it with a oorksorew. How little, alas, do women know about politics.— Burlington Haw key e. “Nein, Herr Silbermann, I don’t bny dot ring off you for no hnndert dollar, un’ I don’ do no pizness mit yon vofcever, don’t it? Yy I didn’t buy dot ring off Silbermann, eh? Yell, Silbermann vas goin’ to marry my vffe vunce, un’ he didn’t. Yen a man was schmarter as I, I don’ do no pizness mit him, ain’t it?” TTs a commonplace, stale situation. Now the curtain comes down from above On the end of our little flirtation— A travesty romance; for Love, If be climbed in disguise to your lattice. Fell oead of the first kiss’ p-»in; But one thing is left ns now; that is— Begin it again. THE BANG MUST GO. The fiat has at last gone forth—- “ Away with the sbe-bang!” And all the girls, boi h Son h and North, Are filled with many a pang. O, sharper than a serpent's tooth. And deadlier than its fan*. Are laws, opposed to love and tasth. Which ostracize the bang! THE PLUMBER’S DAUGHTER. But suddenly across our path. With waters dark and troub ed, A raging to rent rushed in wrath. Its force each moment doubled. Confidingly upon the brink, Her band in trusted, Then murmured low: “George, don't yon think Somebody's hydrant’s busied?” —Chicago Tribune. "Motheb, may I go out to vote?" “Yes, my charming daughter; Be sure you g t a big bank note For voting as you ought ter.” A New York man advertised “a safe, quick, and reliable com remover, without the application of knife or caustics; no pain experienced. Price only sl.” A young man who never walks out without wishing he could leave his feet at home forwarded sl, and two days afterward reoeived by express a live crow. • Jones —“ Yes, sir. I have been insulted, sir. My blood boils when I think of it.” Smith—“ But in what way?” “You know my name was on the jury list last week.” “Yes.” “Well, I went there and was put on the jury at once.” “Nothing remarkable about that.” “Yes, but you forget; not a single lawyer on either side objected to me. Oould anything be more insulting?” “What! Not objecting to you?” “Of course. They must have taken me for a natural-born numbskull, or they wouldn’t have been so willing. ”