Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 June 1884 — Page 6

CHINTZ. In dim mysterious folds you Ba, In lusters mellow and serene, Upon your bosom wood doves fly Bound some enchanting queen. Some delicate vine your damask veins Till lost in fleckless silent seas, And cloudlets, wound in filmy skeins, Tip valleys Japanese. Your scenes speak princely opulence. As sunbeams strike you flower wise. And gild with strange magnificence Tout dreamful peacock dyes. You seem weighed down by lotns scent, In dainty chains your roses link; You waft me to the Orient, Wherein I pause and think, Of damsels faint with love; and o’er I seem to live, in sorrow bleak. Three dead years in a dry-goods store, At dollars two per week.

A WILLFUL FLIRTATION

BY SABA. B. BOSE.

Aunt Rosie and myself had been the first to emigrate to my brother’s new residence which stood by the seashore, quite a distance from any village. We intended to have the place entirely set to rights before the arrival of Leslie and Letty, for my little sister-in-law would have with her the little six-weeks-old heir to the “House of Yorke,” as I laughingly called our family name, and Leslie wished everything to be as pleasant as might be when Lettie first saw our summer resort. We had succeeded beyond our best expectations, and a week saw our pleasant summer cottage all straightened and ready for occupants, but we had been given two weeks in which to finish our work, so I had one week left me in which to get into mischief. There was “a lad I left behind me, ” who dwelt in the city where my brother resided, a black-eyed, jetty-haired darling, but oh, he was the plague of my life, always getting into flirtations if he even crossed the street, and he made my life a burden by the “mashes” he was ever making, in the cars, and every place where his handsome face was seen.

Now I had always done my best to keep even with him in this line, and had even went so far as to write a love letter to myself, in order to make him jealous, and I will allow you to judge if I succeeded, for when I showed it to him I expressed the highest admiration for the style and sentiment, and he replied : , “It’s just some girl, or colored ‘waitah,’ my love.” “Indeed! Well I shall answer it and see.” ’ • '

“That would be the best thing. you could do, Get your paper and I’ll help you compose it, and then I’ll drop it in the office for you.” “Yes you would!- You’d tear it up and then he never would get it.” “No, I would’nt, and now since you have doubted my honor, I won’t touch it at all. But I’d like to see what you write to him. ” “Very well,” I returned, for I thought I saw a way to touch him a little, so I brought my paper immediately. “How would you commence?” I asked, as I sat, pen in hand, and toyed with the box of paper. “Would it do to say,‘loved, but unknown one?” “Well, that might do, but is hardly •rdent enough. If I were you I would say, ‘My adored and adoring lover ?” “But he wrote ‘My adored Maud.’ It would never do to copv right after him. ”

“Wouldn’t it? Ha! ha! ha! Oh, Maudie, it’s too thin, too thin, too thin.” “What do you mean?” I asked, with an attempt at dignity. “Why you little goose, don’t you suppose I know you wrote it yourself, before I found this ?” And if you will believe it, the provoking fellow had actually found the sheet upon which I had practiced my “feigned hand,” together with the first draft of that awful letter. I was so angry I could have slapped his face, but, luckily, at that moment Leslie came in, and, after he had gone, Archie talked so nicely, and never mentioned that horrid letter, and gave me a lovely diamond ring he had me for my engagement ring, :that I forgot all about it. But after that I got up all the real flirtations "that was possible, from Mike, the porter, to a purple old baronet who once attended the same church that I did. And I had not forgotten it when I went down into the country, either; and I have always told Archie he was entirely responsible for what happened that dreadful evening. “Go long, chile, now, and put on your pretty white dress and blue ribbins, and go down to the shore a spell, if you want to; I’se got all the work done now,” eaid Aunt Rosie. So I ran off up-stairs to my little Blue and white and dressed myself, as she had told me; then I took my white garden hat with the blue wreath around it, and my large blue eatin sunshade, and ran down again. “Do I look pretty, Aunt Rosie?” I asked, as 1 stood for a moment upon the piazza. “Just like a posey, Miss Maudie, and your eyes look just like them fergit-mo-nots there,” returned she, pointing to the flower-beds. I smiled back my thanks for this •complimentary speech, and the kind face of the colored woman disappeared from the window, and I walked slowly ■off down to the seashore, wishing that Archie was with me; for I was really fond of him, although he tormented me so, and then I grew interested in a great steamer which was steaming lazily past, far out at sea, and the first I knew I was among the sands upon the shore. There had been a storm a few •days before, and the shore was strewn ■with bits of broken and torn seaweed, and all the other debris which Old Ocean throws up at such times. I picked up a brilliant sea-shell, and, tired into ambition by this, I took up a stick ahd began a thorough search, turning over every little pile of rubIrish which I met with in my walk. All St once I felt a sort of magnetic thrill which told me some one was looking st me, and I looked up to see a group of four ladies, each with a book in her hand. and all regarding me with sensed looks. I stopped short, but th* eldest of the ladies came bravely

“You are Miss Maudie Yorke, I am very sure,” she said, pleasantly, “of the little cottage over there among the trees. ” “I am,” I replied, regaining my equanimity; and the lady again spoke. “I suppose it would be only right to inform you of the names we are blessed with, since we have the advantage of you. lam Mrs. Agnes Atwelh This is Miss Etta Lansing, Miss Ida Evarts, Miss Ella Evarts—Miss Yorke. We are your nearest neighbors,” she continued, “and I will own to having coveted your acquaintance ever since I heard you were here, for it is very lonely without company at the seaside, after the excitement of the city.” I responded as politely as I was able, and the young ladies were very pleasant. I found Mrs. Atwell an old acquaintance of my sister-in-law, and, as I had heard Letty often speak of Aggie Atwell, I was soon at home among them.

“Come home with us to tea,” begged Mrs. Atwell, as the hands of my watch pointed toward 5 o’clock. “Nay, I will take no refusal, for I know you are alone with the servants.” Thus importuned I was soon walking toward Mrs. Atwell’s cottage by her side, and the three girls chatting pleasantly behind us. “The young ladies have been practicing archery,” she said, as we went through the pleasant grounds. “Do you ever use the bow and arrow ?” “Yes,” I answered, delightedly, “I think it the nicest of all out-door "exercises.” “Oh, do you?” cried Ella Evarts, behind me. “Then do let’s shoot a little now!” “I have not hit the target once since I have been here,” said Ida. They had an original sort of a game, and their target was a huge barrel-hoop fastened up against a tree. “We are but learners, Miss Yorke,” said Etta Lansing, apologetically; and then Mrs. Atwell left us. leaving me to the care of the young ladies. We amused ourselves with the bows and arrows for a short time, and then the three carried me off to look at a tiny aquarium, for which they declared they themselves had found several inmates.

“There! I caught that tiuy turtle!” said Ida Evarts. “And that green frog is my own!” cried Ella. “I red made me a present X>fit”. “Which of you is the owner of that wriggling little water-snake?” I asked, with a shiver. ”Oh, that belongs to Fred,” returned Ida; “and Mr. Atwell says it is not at all dangerous. ” “Fred is Mr. Atwell’s brother,” said Etta Lansing, answering my inquiring look. “Yes,” Ella chimedin, “and he would be perfectly lovely if it was not for just this one particular ” “Ella is always falling in love with somebody, and now it is poor Fred,” interrupted Ida, laughing. “Hus-s-s-h!” said Ella. “Here is Mrs. Atwell.” Our hostess then came upon the scene, saying: “Tea is ready, young ladies. How do you like the girl’s aquarium, Miss Yorke?”

“Very much,” I replied. “Fred will want you to put something in it, and you must not refuse,” exclaimed Ida Evarts. I was about to ask why, when Mrs. Atwell spoke, and, I fancied, colored also. “Oh, Fred will be satisfied with anything—a bit of rock will answer—but we have a habit of never refusing Fred anything. ” Again I was about to ask why, but the approach of two gentlemen put a stop to my query, and Mrs. Atwell again introduced me, “Miss Yorke, allow me to present to you my lord and master, Mr. Atwell. Miss Yorke, Mr. Fred Atwell. ”

This latter gentleman was a rather effeminate-looking young plan, with pale blue eyes and light hair, and I fancied he eyed me pretty closely during the supper, and when at length I arose to depart, he took his hat and asked permission to accompany me. I thought of Archie and only wished he was there to see me, as I walked off triumphantly with Mr. Fred Atwell by my side.

Perhaps I rather overacted the engaged damsel, for the young gentleman became very devoted. I thought that Mrs. Atwell had become a little anxious, and was striving to keep us apart as much as possible. However, I did wish Archie would arrive before I should be obliged to drop Frederick, who was very affectionate, or would be if I would let him, but he was not expected until Saturday night, and I was firmly resolved to keep it up until then at least. Everything went on finely, and Thursday afternoon the young ladies were to spend with me. “I does hope,” said Aunt Rosie, earnestly, “that, that Fred will know enough to stay at home. There’s something queer about that youngster, now mind I tell you, Miss Maudie.” “Why, Aunt Rosie, what makes you think so?” “Nuffin much, only I notices every time he looks at you his eyes turns a reddish-green, and it’s my opinion the boy is a little cracked in the upper story.”

I laughed heartily at Aunt Rosie’s opinion, and although I did not exactly think as she did, I really wish he was a little more “the beau ideal” of a lover to confront by intended with, but at least he was as nice as that Irene Anderson was, that made such a dead-set at Archie last summer. My reflections were cut short by the entrance of my gusts, the three girls an i Mr. Fred Atwell. Mrs. Atwell was indisposed, the young ladies said. We passed a very pleasant afternoon, and the girls started for home about dark, but Fred made no move to go with them. “Come Fred said Ida, “it is time we were going.” “You can go, if you wish. I shall spend the evening with Miss Maude.” “But we don’t wish to go home alone,” cried EUa. “Don’t you?” answered Fred, indifferently. “No, Fred,” said Etta. “We can’t possibly go home without you; here is your hat.” ‘

“Yon may put it back again. I intend to remain awhile longer,” and I noticed a peculiar gleam in his dull’blue eyes. “But we promised Mrs. Atwell to bring you home with us,” said Etta, earnestly. “I believe lam able to care for myself,” he said, so sulkily that the girls left him to himself. I noticed the girls looked at each other strongly, and seemed reluctant to leave me, I urged them to remain, but they departed hurriedly, as I thought, as I watched them from the piazza. “What lot of young folks them be,” said Aunt Rosie, in my ear. “Shall I go in and fist that young feller out?”

“By no means,” I returned, as I opened the parlor door., Just a little thrill of fear ran over me as I saw Fred standing in the center of the room swinging his arms wjldly over his head. “Come hither, thou Queen of Heaven!” cried he, closing the door and putting his back against it. “I do not understand you,” answered I, trying to appear calm. “Ha! Ha! Ha! How should you?” he laughed, strangely. “When you know not that I am the great King Cepheus—greatest of all amid the starry throng—and that you are my Queen Cassiopea, queen of the starry heaven!” I vas terribly frightened, for I saw by the rolling of his eyes, as well as by his words that Fred Atwell was mad.' I said nothing, however, and he fell, upon his knees and burst forth into a frantic declaration of his love for me. “Rosie, Rosie,” I called. 1 “Be silent! ” he commanded. “Do you accept me, or do you reject me?”i he asked, more calmly. “Mr. Atwell,” I answered, as fearlessly as I could from the corner of the room to which I had fled, “you forget that you have known me but a few days; besides, I am already engaged. ” * ' “Did you say you refused?” he asked, very mildly. “I must of course refuse,” I said, as gently as possible. “Aha! Aha! you refuse! you refuse! you refuse! The demons told me you would!” he shrieked, in a perfect frenzy; and then he drew a long, sharp knife from inside his coat and began slashing about him frantically. In the midst of my horror I heard the joyful sound of voices in the hall, and then the madman approached me, and I felt the sharp steel enter my shoulder once, twice, thrice, but I retained my consciousness until I saw the frightened faces of Mr. and Mrs. Atwell enter the room, followed by my brother and Archie Dacre, and then I fell into a blessed state of unconsciousness.

When I came to Archie was by my side, and I had accomplished my object anyway, for he knew I had had one lover if he was crazy. “Where is he ?” I asked. “Safely bound and on his way to the asylum,” answered Letty, from an armchair near where she sat with the baby. “Did you know that he was crazy, Letty?” I questioned. “Oh, yes,” site replied. “He has been so several times before, but Aggie said they thought he was cured. ” “They ought to have told me,” said I.

“Too much talk, too much talk,” said Dr. Archie Dacre, and then I found that my shoulder had been dressed, and that I must be perfectly quiet. Archie and I are married now, but he never says anything about Fred Atwell, for, as I said before, he alone was to blame.

The Struggle for Existence in India.

Take the returns for seven years, we find that man has killed about one hundred and forty thousand wild beasts, tigers, bears, leopards, wolves, hyenas and others—or about twenty thousand annually. During the same period the beasts have destroyed twen-ty-eight thousand human beings, or four thousand a year. Taking the respective rates of the reproduction of species, human and feral, it is obvious, that there is very little to choose between the two lists of casualties, and that the beasts will make good the deficiencies in their numbers as quickly as, if not sooner than, the human beings. On the side of the tigers and their allies has to be added the advantage gained by having killed during the same seven years an annual average of forty-five thousand head of cattle, or a total of about three hundred and forty thousand, and inflicted, further, a monetary expenditure upon government of about ten thousand pounds a year. The balance, therefore, roughly stated, stands thus: One human being, with eleven head of cattle and three pounds in cash for every five wild beasts. In the great fight with the snakes, the advantage, numerically, is immensely in favor of humanity ; for while the reptiles killed about eighteen thousand human beings every year, and about three thousand.cattle, tliey lost of their own numbers nearly two hundred thousand annually. Here again, however, the question of reproduction ought to be considered, and it will be seen that the outcome of the conflict is really very evenly balanced, for a given numoer of snakeswill add two hundred thousand to their numbers in a far* shorter time than the same number of human beings will add eighteen thousand. So that as the question of extermination stands in India to-day, it seems just as probable that men and their domestic cattle will be extinct before the wild beasts and venomous snakes.

In Luck.

The great aim in life of German army officers, if they are poor, as nine out of ten of them are, is to marry a rich wife, which state of things will explain the following conversation between two of them: “I hear you have won 50,000 thalers in the lottery. Is it a fact ?” “Yes.” “You don’t say so. You are a lucky dog. Now you will not have to marry a rich wife. Well, did anybody ever see such luck.”— Texas Siftings. A perfectly white peacock, the only one in tlrs country, is on exhibition in Boston.

THE BAD BOY.

“Hello, where you been?” said the groceryman to the bad boy, as he came along with an old-fashioned oilcloth carpet-bag, with one handle gone, and a tired look on the carpet-bag and the boy, as though they had just returned from a journey. “Haven’t seen you in here for two weeks, and I began to think you had been abducted, or mysteriously disappeared. You look sick.” “Oh, I am not sick, but tired and sleepy and hungry. I wish yoa would cut me off a cheese-rind, or give me a herring-skin, or anything,” said the bad boy, as he dropped the carpet-bag on the floor and dropped onto a halfbushel measure and closed his eyes. “We are just on the way from "the depot, and pa has left me to carry this old carpet-sack, and he has gone up the alley to climb over the back fence, cause he wore his boots out on the railroad ties coming up from the Chicago convention.” “What! Had to walk back!” said the groceryman, as he handed the boy a generous slice of cheese with a spot of green mold on the under side. “I should suppose your pa had influence enough to get a pass, or borrow money to get h«ne with, if he got busted.” “That’s what pa thought,” said the boy, as he made a camel’s track in the piece of cheese, and then, making up a face at the moldy mouthful, reached into a cracker barrel to get some crackers to take the taste out. “But borrowing was played out the second day. Pa lent money for two days, and then had to borrow, but they had all quit lending when pa’s turn came to borrow. Gosh, but pa and I are out of politics from this out. Pa says he will never vote again. He says the country is all gone to the dogs.” “Well, what was your pa down there for, anyway? He wasn’t a delegate, was he ?” asked the groceryman. “No, pa was only an assistant delegate, and I was pa’s assistant,” said the boy, as he gathered in groceries and provisions with both hands, and ate as though he had fasted for several days. “You see, the politicians have been playing it on pa for six months. They get him to work in ward politics by encouraging him to think he is an important factor in the country’s affairs. He wanted to be a delegate, and they encouraged him, but he got beat, and then they told him he had better go as an assistant delegate. They told him that delegates did not amount to anything without some smart fellows to tell them how to vote, and what they wanted was a of outsiders to go along and brace up the delegates, and ‘whoop-it-up.’ There is nothing that pa likes any better than to whoop-it-up, and he took me along to give me an insight into politics and carry the sachel. I don’t want any more insight into politics. I have had insight enough to last me until I am 21. Pa told me, all the way down to Chicago, what an important position it was to be assistant delegate, and how much depended upon clear-headed outsiders, who really managed the whole business. I expected they would carry pa on their shoulders. There was a band at the depot, and pa pulled up his collar, and pulled down his vest, and looked around as much as to say, ‘watch me now,’ and I thought he was going to make a speech, when the crowd walked right over him, and his hat come off and rolled under a car, and somebody picked it up and left an old dirty hat on the ground. Pa was mad, but when the crowd got away that was all the hat there was, and pa took it and gave it to me, and he took mine. It was to® small for pa, but it made him look as though he had a great big head, and so I didn’t kick. We went to a hotel, and a man grabbed the sachel, and told pa to go to room 1250, and pa was tickled, ’cause he thought a room had been saved for him. Then a fellow came along and said for the delegates to put on badges. Pa took a badge and put it on, and he looked proud, and a fellow he used to know asked him for $5 till he could see the chairman of the delegation. Pa took out his pocket-book and let him have it, and before he got the pocket-book in his pocket another fellow asked him for change for a ten, and pa handed it to him, and the crowd closed in so tight pa could not find the man to get the ten. Then we went to find our room, and wandered around the hotel until we found there were only 600 rooms, and no such room as twelve-fifty, and a porter told us to get out. Pa kicked because he couldn’t get his satchel, and a big fellow took him by the neck and led him out on the sidewalk. Pa said he would make ’em smart for that, and then we tried to hunt up the rest of the delegates, but no delegate would have anything to do with pa, and they all laughed at him except the colored delegates, and they wouldn’t do anything only drink" with pa. They laughed so much at pa’s badge that I took a good look at it, and found that it was an advertisement for plug tobacco printed on satin with fringe on it. Pa was mad when he found it out, but he couldn’t find the delegate that gave it to him. Well, we went to a restaurant and tried to get something to eat, and all we, could get was bread, and pa had his pocket picked, and we couldn’t get a place to sleep, and walked around town all night. Pa got a little sleep by spelling a policeman, but I didn’t sleep a wink. Half the night there were delegations marching around with bands, and pa would fall in behind, and the delegate* at the rear of the procession would drive him away. In the morning we went over to the depot and borrowed fifty cents of a conductor that pa knew, who goes to our church, and then we got coffee for breakfast, and started for the convention. We couldn’t get within four blocks of the building, and didn’t have no tickets, and they drove us out of the line. Pa found one of the men who encouraged him to go to the convention, and tried to get a ticket, but the man told pa to go over on the lake front, back of the Exposition Building, and he would bring him a ticket. We went over there and stayed four hours, and the man never ame. Pa got thirsty, and followed a •rowd into a saloon to tsike a drink with them, and the bar-tender fired him >ut. O, it was one continual round of pleasure. Pa was discouraged, and

said we would go to the hotel and get our satchel and go home, so we went there and asked for the satchel, and the porter threw this old satchel at pa’t head. It was one somebody had tried to get board on, and there was nothing in it, but pa took it He said it would look better to travel with a satchel. So we got enough convention and went over and got on a freight train, and th< conductor put us off at Evanston, and we walked to the next station and got on another, and was put off, and we kept it up, off and on, till we got here. Say, I think politics is a fraud, don’t you ?” “That is the way I have always looked at politics,” said the groceryman, and the bad boy got up to go out, saying, “I am*a little interested in knowing how Sa will explain this business to ma. Ee has been making her believe he was high up in politics, and to come home in this way will be sure to arouse her suspicions,” and the boy hobbled out with the satchel in his hand and a stone bruise on his heel— Peck’s Sun.

Cloves.

If you will look on the map of Oceanica, in the division of Malaysia, you will find a group of tiny islands nestled in between Celebes and Papua, known as the Molucca or Spice Islands, from the great quantity of cloves, nutmegs and mace obtained from them. Although they look so small, they are of great value on account of the spice trees. The Portuguese and Spaniards both found them about the year 1521; but Antonio de Brito, a Portuguese navigator, took possession of them in the name of his King, and that nation held them until the Dutch (assisted by the natives) drove them out in the first part of the seventeenth century and took possession of them themselves. This they have held until the present time, with the exception of a brief period in 1796, when the English conquered them from the Dutch, but soon restored them.

The clove tree was found on only five islands in its native state, and on the Island of Amboyna, where the natives had begun to cultivate it. As soon as the Dutch obtained possession they began to destroy all the clove trees except on the Island of Amboyna, in order to make the spice scarce, and so increase the price. Every year, until 1824, an expedition of soldiers and laborers was sent from Holland to the Moluccas with orders to destroy every clove tree there except those on Amboyna. During the short time the English held possession of the islands, they carried clove-trees to Bourbon and Mauritius. In 1830 they were planted on the islands of Pemba and Zanzibar, and from the latter island about 7,000,000 pounds are exported every year; these are worth over $400,000. They are also raised in Sumatra, Malacca, Cayenne, and Brazil; but the best still come from Amboyna. The clove-tree is from fifteen to forty feet high. It has a perfectly straight trunk, covered with a smooth, olivecolored bark. From where the branche! begin, it has the form of a pyramids the leaves are a dark green, and very glossy; the flowers grow in clusters, and are of a reddish hue; the fruit is about the size and shape of an olive, perhaps not quite as large, and when ripe is dark red. The part that we use as spice is the flower-buds, which are gathered just before they open. They aretdried by the smoke of wood fires, or by being exposed to the rays of the sun. By drying they are changed from red to a deep brown. They look so much like a nail with a round head that both the Portuguese and Spaniards gave them a name which meant nail in their language, and which has since become our English word, clove. The French called them fragrant-nail, on account of their delicious odor. All parts of the tree are fragrant,—bark, leaves, flowers, and fruit. Cloves are used in cooking, in medicine, -or for embalming or preserving bodies from decay. An oil is also obtained from them, which is much used in perfumery.

An Animal Flower.

The Sea-anemones are delightfully varied in size, color, form, and special peculiarities of development and function ; so that a large collection would be like an animated flower garden, composed of Carnations, China Asters, Dahlias, Daisies, etc. The beauty of many species is greatly enhanced by the fact that several colors are combined in individual specimens. Thus sometimes the main body or column will be green, with white or golden tentacles, and the base buff with a pink disk or tips, or crimson, with azure spheroids; sometimes the whole animal will be of one color, vared by different tints and shades. Down below, in the caves of the sea. these wonderful creatures have for untold ages anticipated our modern “combination suits,” and have appeared dressed in all the glory of scarlet and gold, pink and gray, blue and white, green and crimson ; their exquisite taste always selecting accords or pleasing contrasts, and avoiding all discordant shades which would clash with or “kill” each other, such as we sometimes see in human productions.

A Peculiar Weed.

A curious kind of weed which grows in the Arkansas Valley has often proved misleading to sportsmen. It is shaped ike a ball and varies in size from one oot or less in diameter to five or six eet, some specimens being as tall as a man. It grows upon a small stem, which is, however, stout enough to beai the mass till it has ripened and dried, when a puff of wind will blow it over and snap the slender support. Then it is that every gust of wind sends it rolling over the prairie, bounding ovei bushes and rocks with the greatest elasticity and lightness. When the wind is strong and high these tumbling weeds present a most peculiar appear ance as they bound from rock to rock and in more than one instance hunter have mistaken them for bisons, and felt considerable irritation at the im possibility of bringing them withii range of their guns. Thk bunco men are now inclined t< look down on the bank-o men in Nev York.

HUMOR.

The disease of the meter—gas trick fever.— OU City Derrick. Noble sentiment by a Washington department clerk: “Let me but draw the nation’s salary, and I care not who does its work.— Boston Globe. “ I'M very matter-of-fact,* she cried. To a handsome bachelor at her side — “An angel without wings. “ Oh, certainly yes," the wretch replied. For it is acknowledged tar and wide That facts are stubborn things.* Thebe is something heroic in silent suffering. Thongh a man with a layer of active and energetic mustard on his chest rarely thinks of this.— Bock land Courier-Gazette. “Your husband is a staid man, now, is he not ?” asked a former schoolmate of her friend, who had married a man rather noted for his fast habits. “I think so,” was the reply; “he staid out very late last night.” Neveb say to an objectionable acquaintance : “Come in and see me some time.” Some time means any time, and he may come when you least expect him. It is better to name some time; then you can take the precaution to be out when he calls.— Boston Transcript. “You ought to be a very rich man,” said a busy working man to a lubberly loafer, who sat on a dry-goods box whistling “Peek-a-Boo,” and carving his initials in the soft pine wood. “ Why so ?” inquired the whistler. “Because, you know time is money, and you have such a tremendous surplus of time. ” Chattanooga People’s Paper. A young lady can have a District Telegraph boy wait for her at the church door and carry her prayer-book home on Sunday mornings. She need not depend upon the regulation churchdoor dude, who is apt to sleep on «his watch, and allow flies to go down his throat while his mouth is open.— New Orleans Picayune. A Bismarck young man told an old maid she was a “matchless woman," and she smiled so sweetly over the compliment that her mouth stretched to its utmost capacity. After he had gone, it occurred to her that there was another meaning to the expression, and the next time that young man calls there will be a sickening tragedy to record.— Bismarck Tribune.

It does look suspicious when a drug firm gives a package of* cucumber seed with every dime’s worth of goods bought. But then we mustn’t judge of a man’s motive, no matter how enterprising he may be to increase his trade. Chromos go with dry goods, why not cucumber seeds with drugs? These seeds will bear fruit in trade in a few weeks.— Peckfs Sun. “ O carry me, then,” cried the fair coquette, “ To the land where never I’ve journeyed yet— To that shore Where love Is lasting, and change unknown. And a man is faithful to one alone Evermore.” * Go, seek that land for a year and a dav; At the end of the time you’ll be still far away. Pretty maid. ’Tis a country unlettered in map or in chart, *Tis a country that does not exist, sweetheart, I’m afraid." “Why do you keep getting up and going out between the acts ?” asked an unsophisticated country maiden of a city cousin, with whom she was attending the theater. “Well, my dear coz," was his reply, “I don’t mind telling you that I am trying to combine the delights of the evening dram and the evening drama.” Burlington Free Press.

“Deuced pretty girl, that,” said Clinker to Plumper. “Ya-as, and a fine catch for somebody.” “Why, has she got money?” “Her pa has oodles of it.” “How do you know that? You can’t be sure of the worth of a man nowadays. People may think him rich when he is heavily in debt.” “Oh, but there’s no doubt about that girl’s pa. He’s solid. He’s just made an assignment, with unlimited liabilities and nominal assets.”— The People's Paper.

Soldiers’ Doctors in Olden Times.

The Saxon physician, Dr. Frolich, who holds the rank of Oberstabsarzt in the German army, has published in a medical journal an interesting essay upon “War Surgery Among the Ancient Bomans.” The care and nurture of soldiers wounded in conflict for their fatherland may have been wretchedly negligent in the Middle Ages, and even so late as tjie Seven Years’ war the surgery and nursing of the sick soldiers were as bad as they could be, while the official army doctor bore an ill-repute morally and professionally. Among the ancient Bomans, however, the soldiery were better cared for. From the time of the Punic wars the Boman Republic provided that well-instructed physicians should always accompany its troops on a campaign, and Dr. Frolich shows that the members of the organized medical staff took a respectable place in the military ranks. The great reformer of the army in this respect, however, was the Emperor Augustus. “He was the first to institute formal field hospitals,” as Dr. Frolich says, “quite in the modern fashion.” He gives details in illustration of the condition of military surgery and a list of the officials who served the camp under the direction of the surgeons. There were prescribed rules issued to their subordinates for “the binding of lance wounds” and “for the drawing out of arrows.” A Boman legion had its regular “sick-bearers” and a “book-keeper,” who attended to the provision of materials for the hospital. There are directions for the detection of malingerers, which prove that the brave Boman legions had an average number of cowards in their ranks. In the year 496 B. C. several soldiers under Appius Claudius, wishing to shirk the combat with the terrible Volscians, used the bandages delivered to the medical staff for the binding up of their sound limbs, and sought by this means, to pass themselves off as wounded men and escape the fight.

An exchange says that, in order to obtain a Texas father’s permission to pay your address to his daughter, you should invite him to see you throw a bottle into the air and shoot a hole through the bottom without breaking the vessel. We should think a quicker and more effective plan would be to present the father with the contents of the bottle.