Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 21, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 June 1884 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

Ranks high—old butter. A shell race—oysters. Food for thought--fijh. What is laughter? asks a scientist. It is the sound that you hear when your hat blows off. A New Yobk man shot himself because he couldn’t sleep. He should have shot the cat.— Boston Post. Rural hospitality: Do take some more of the vegetables, Mr. Blood, for they go to the pigs any way.— Harvard Lampoon. “I have a great sole for music,” remarked a gentleman with squeaky boots, who came late to the concert. The usher put him out.— Peck’s Sun. “In the sprint;, a livelier Iris Comes upon the burnished dove; In the spring, the young man’s fancy Lightly turns to thoughts of love.* In the spring, the politician Takes the darky in his pew; But the next day after election How the darkey smells! Oh, phew! —Pans Beacon. “And ’ow about the performers at my lady’s concert Wednesday next?” “O, it’s all right, Sir Gorgius I I’ve got you six first violins, four second violins, and-—” “Second violins be hanged! II ’ave none but the first fiddles performing in my ’ousel”—London Punch. Little Rudolph one day begged an invitation to dinner at the house of a little friend with whom he had been playing during the morning. At the table his hostess anxiously inquired: “Rudolph, can you cut your own meat ?” “Humph,” said Rudolph, who was sawing away, “can’t I ? I’ve cut up a great deal tougher meat than this at home.” —Harper’s Bazar.