Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 June 1884 — A Live Commercial Traveler. [ARTICLE]

A Live Commercial Traveler.

Sheriff Wiggins, of Dallas, Tex., made it a prominent part of his business to ferret out and punish commercial travelers who traveled in Texas without license; but one morning he met his match, a genuine Yankee drummer. “What have you got to sell? Anything?” asked the Sheriff, as he met the Connecticut man on the streets. “Oh, ves, I’m selling medicine —patent medicine. Selling Rattail’s Beady Belief, and it’s the best thing in the world. You ought to try a bottle. It will cure your ague, cure rheumatism, cure anything.” “And you will sell me a case ?” “Sartinly, sir; glad to.” Then the Sheriff bought a case. “Anything more?” asked the drummer. “Yes, sir; I want to see your license for selling goods in Texas. That is my duty as the High Sheriff of Dallas County.” The drummer showed him a document, fixed up good and strong, in black and white. The Sheriff looked at it and pronounced it “all right.” Then, turning to the commercial traveler, he said: “I don’t know, now that I’ve bought this stuff, that I shall ever want it. I reckon that I may as well sell it to you again. What will you give for it?” “Oh, I don’t know that the darned stuff is any use to me, but seeing it’s you, Sheriff, I’ll give you a dollar for the lot, if you really don’t want it.” The Sheriff delivered back the medicine at $4 discount from his own purchase and received his change. “Now,” said the drummer, “I’ve got a question or two to ask you. Hev you got a drummer's license about your trousers anywhere?” “No; I haven’t any use for the article myself,” replied the Sheriff. “Hain’t, eh? Wal, I guess we’ll see about that ‘pretty darn soon. If I understand the law, it’s a clean case that you’ve been tradin’ with me, and hawkin' and peddlin’ Battail’s Beady Belief on the highway, and I shall inform on you—darn’d es I don’t neow!” When the Yankee reached the Court House he made his complaint, and the Sheriff was fined $8 for selling goods without a license. The Sheriff was heard afterward to say that “you might as well try to hold a greased eel as a live Yankee.”— Eli Perkins.