Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 March 1884 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

Aix miners are not successful, but many dig in vein. Ups and downs in high-school life—the stairways. In spite of all that can be said in favor of Adam and Eve, they were undoubtedly a shiftless pair. An Eastern editor says: “The devil is not as black as he is painted.” DownEast editors are always “puffing* somebody for a reserved-seat ticket —Newman Independent. Bkwabk, proud world, how thou despises* The humblest of thy creatures, and lookeet With disdain upon the man with battered Hat and mud-srained pantaloons; For it has often been found a truth That though a man wear ragged clothes. He yet within his coat sleeve wivi An arm with muscle great, whose Blows will weigh a ton, and perchance, When he is very mad, a few Hundred pounds additional. ■ —CHI City Derrick. A countby girl, coming from tbe field, being told by her poetic cousin that she looked as fresh as a daisy kissed with dew, said: “Well, it wasn’t any fellow by that name; but it was Steve Jones that kissed me. I told him that every one in town would find it out.” That was a fine piece of irony of Pugin’s, when he had got out the designs for a magnificent cathedral, to cost £30,000, and the committee of the building fund wanted him to reduce the price to £IO,OOO “Say 30 shillings more, gentlemen,” he wrote, “and have a nice spire!” “Now, you must converse in nothing but French,” said Monsieur the Professor to his pupils. Silence immediately fell on the class for the space of a quarter of an hour, when the Pro* lessor exclaimed, “What? Nothing but silence? Zat is the very opposite of French. ” “Anu did the man get off, Pat?” says his friend. “Shure and he did that,* says Pat; “he proved an alibi, ye know. ” “No! Phat’s that, now?” “O! ye haythen! Shure, and wasn’t he in the alley by Mickey’s saloon, all the while, now? and wasn’t in the fight at all, at all!”— The Hoosier. There is a luminous paint which renders objects visible in the darU And now the Chicago belles will Ire putting it on their cheeks, as a sort of guide when the gas b tipis low, so that now when a youth sees two spots of light, about two feet apart, he knows there is a Chicago mouth between ’em somewhere, and don’t need to waste any time, except that required to make a detour about her fairy slippers.— The Hoosier.