Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 February 1884 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

Taffy is one of the sweetest things of lore. Dis-tbessing accident—losing yonr scalp. Could conjugal affection be more strictly displayed than it is in the subjoined ? “And so, doctor, you think my wife will get well?” “I am sure of it, if you can persuade her to take this dose.” “Doctor, take it she shall, if I have to break every bone in her body. ” The “wishbone” wedding has become the correct thing. The couple stand beneath a floral wishbone. After the ceremony the bride and groom are given the wishbone to pull. The tug results in a‘ break somewhere, and whoever holds the long piece is absolved from getting up to build fires in the morning. A hoosier at dinner on a Mississippi palatial steamer was about to reach out for something before him, but the waiter, checking him, exclaimed: “That, sir, is a dessert.” “O,” said theHoosiey, “I don’t care if it is a wilderness. I’m going to eat it all the same.”—Philadelphia Call. Epitaph copied in a French cemetery: “I AWAIT MY HUSBAND, “10th October, 1820.” And below: “HERE I AM!! “7th February, 1880.” “How abe you and your wife cummin’ on?” asked a West Point man of a colored man. “She has run me off, boss. lis to blame, boss. 1 gave her a splendid white silk dress, and den she got so proud she had no use for me. She lowed I was too dark to match de dress. ” The story is told in Paris of an American lady, who at an inn in Normandy was deputed as being the best French scholar in her party, to make the arrangements for their accommodation. She did her best—which was a long way short of perfection—but the clerk did not catch her meaning, and his remarks were jargon to her. Finally, in desperation, she said, slowly and with awful distinctness: “ Do—you—speak—English?” “Wa’al. neow you’re jest talkin’,” shouted the clerk. “Guess I’d orter speak English. I was raised ten miles from Ban-gor.”