Democratic Sentinel, Volume 8, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 February 1884 — HUHOR. [ARTICLE]

HUHOR.

[From Peck's Son.] Ah exchange says that “Hillsboro, Tex., has a beer drinking dog." If it is a four-legged variety the peculiarity of the animal is indeed worthy of record. Professor Newton publishes thevery interesting information that “the earth receives abont three billion of meteors every-year, bnt they only increase the size of the earth one inch in one hundred years.” That, of course, don’t include the nnmber of meteors a man sees floating through space after he has stepped on an orange peel and emphatically and suddenly laid the back of his head on a stone sidewalk. No man has yet been able to count them. A defender of the English sparrow says “the bird is granivorous, insectivorous, larvivorous, pupivorous and omnivorous, and that its anmtiveness is mistaken for belligerency.” It has never before been known what did really ail the sparrow, but if this is so the sparrow should be killed before the same ailment becomes general. There is danger of persons who frequent city parks becoming afflicted with the same complaint. If thin disease should break out in Chicago, for instance, it would be dangerous to be safe on the street day or night. Kill the sparrow. [From the Burlington Hawkeye.] A New York paper declares there are over 40,000 unhoused people in that city. Happy people! they don’t have to pay any rent. A Nebraska woman only 40 years old has twenty-one children. She has bnt one husband, but that is one more than she needs. It is well enough to embtoider “Good Night” in sleepy colors on a pillow sham, but when the bolster is stuffed with prairie hay and the mattress is preparing to celebrate its golden wedding, the hospitable wish is too sarcastic to be pleasant. Julia Ward Howe says: “Poor peo* pie cannot be kept out of good society.” No, but they can be made most awfully uncomfortable while they are in. The system of “student government,” which has just been adopted in Bowdoin, has been in successful operation at Amherst for several years. The average student usually does display a capacity for taking better care of himself than the faculty can, and on occasion he is eminently able to take care of the faculty also. There are a lot of camels now running wild, and multiplying and replenishing the great American desert, which used to belong to the Government. Occasionally one of them is shot by a British tourist, who gorges himself upon its hump and takes home its hide, under the impression that he has “bagged a bloomin’ buffalo that ’as molted hits ’orns, you* know,” but beyond this incidental slaughter, the camels are not disturbed. So if you are looking for a couple of camels to drive tandem, go West and scoot about the Gila valley for a while.

[From the Merchant Traveler.] How old is a tree when it reaches the foli-age. Some people are not too fool for utterance. “The bark went down,” said the ague * patient after he had swallowed a big dose of quinine. A man may not want to buy the cat, but when he runs it out of the pantry he becomes a purr-chaser. When a drove of cattle get to bellowing you can’t get so far away from them that they will not be herd. “Hit it with a brick,” said a slangy, fast young man to a sharp girl. “All right, sir; I’ll just throw you at it.” One thousand dollars per capita is the average wealth of the United States, and we have a detective out looking for the man with our share. “I won’t go to the station-house with you, I’m sleepy and cold, ” said a man to a policeman who waked him up on the street. “Cold, are you? Well, I’ll rap you up,” and he cracked him one with his billy. “You’b'e a thief and a liar,” said a candidate to an editor. “What’s that?” “You’re a thief and a liar.” “Pshaw! what’s the use of your disappointing a man that way? I thought you had something to tell me I hadn’t heard before. I want news and not matter ten or a dozen years old.”