Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 January 1884 — Artemus Ward’s Boyhood. [ARTICLE]

Artemus Ward’s Boyhood.

Artemus’ father died when the boy was about 15 years old, and, as .the family circumstances were somewhat limited thereby, he was apprenticed to Mr. J. M. Rix, who published the Coos Democrat, at Lancaster, N. H. The stage line to Lancaster ran by the Brown homestead, and the drivers were not unfamiliar with the ability of the future “genial showman” in the way of practical jokes. They knew how he organized shows, wherein his father’s red cow, with a coat sleeve stuffed full‘of hay hanging from her nose, served as the elephant, upon which innocent country youth were invited to ride, with startling results. They knew, too, how old Deacon Hale’s white horse had been induced to wander away for miles following a tempting bit of hay, hung just beyond reach by means of a lath strapped to the horse’s neck. There was an endless series of pranks gotten up by the boy to mystify the villagers in general and his mother in particular, and all these were well known to the Btage drivers. So when the young humorist started for Lancaster, eager to know as much as possible about his future residence, the veteran driver, Steve Seary, having previously conspired with the boys in Fix’s office to give young Brown * a fitting reception, assured him that Mr. Rix was a pious man, and that his hands were, if anything, more pious than he, and that the sooner the would-be apprentice crammed on the catechism the better. Charles listened dolefully. It was late at night when the stage reached Lancaster, and in the morning young Brown hied himself to the office. The “force” consisted of a journeyman and an apprentice named Smith. They received him solemnly. The journeyman handed him a Bible and made him read a chapter, after winch he was examined on the catechism. His ignorance was commented on, but he was permitted to go to work. At noon a similar performance was enacted, while an intense .gloom rested on the office during the day. The next morning Charles went to the office resolved to run away at the end of the tve&k, but, on looking about, failed to find his fellow-craftsmen. Further search revealed them under the garret stairs too intoxicated, to walk. Young Brown was so angry over the sell that he wrote a note to the driver threatening vengeance, which was never carried out. Brown’s fame as a humorist was a surprise to all who knew him, and even to himself. A greater surprise to his kinfolk now is the interest still manifested in the dead merry-maker and his work. They thought that all attention would cease with his life, but every year the number of people who visit Waterford to see his mother—now almost 80 years old—increases.— Waterford (Me.) Cor. New York Sun .