Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 January 1884 — Page 7

Drove Him Away.

Joshua Peterson, a colored man who, directly after the war, recognized the importance of educating his children, sent his daughter to a refined school where she graduated with distinction. Shortly after she returned home, a smooth-looking barber began to visit her. One day she went out to the field where her father was gathering corn, and calling the old man, said: “Father. * “Yas, chile,” stopping with an ear of corn in his hand. “Has Mr. Sheppard seen you ?” “Doan know whuder he’s seed me er not, but r doan think dat I’se seed him." “Well, father, Mr. Sheppard is my lover, and I didn’t know but he Had come to ask you for me.” “Dis is news ter me,” said the old man, turning the ear of corn around; “whut sorter man is he, chile ?’’ * “A nice man, pa.” “An’ do he know how ter take kere o’ a wife?” “Oh, yes, pa.” “Whut ken he do?” “Oh, he can do anything. He writes such delightful poetry.” “Uh, huh; wall, whut else ken he do?” “Why he sings charmingly.” “He do, do he; whut else ?” “He is also an excellent scholar. He was educated at a college. ” “Dat afack? Fine man, ain’t he?” “Oh, he’s a wonderful man.” “I!se glad o’ it.” “And he’s so high-toned, too.” “W’y dat fills me wid joy.” “Yes, and he is such an elegant conversationalist,” said the delighted girl. “i’se monstrous proud o’dat sack,” replied the old man, throwing the ear of com on the pile. “Pse aUers been afeerd dat yer wouldn’t marry dat sorter man.” “I am so glad to hear you speak so, father, and I know James wifi, thank you from the bottom of bis heart.” “Yas, chile, yas. What udder numerations is de young man got ? ” “You should say what other accomplishments, father.” “Uh, huh, dat’s so. Forgot my g’ografy dat time.” “Your grammar, you mean, father. ” “Yas, chile, my grammar. Man’s knowledge o’ de polar circles sometimes slips up on him.” “Oh, yonder he is at the house, father. Come, I want you to meet him. I know that you have seen him many a time, but I want you to meet him as my accepted suitor, and to tell him how glad you will be to welcome him to your family.” The old fellow accompanied his daughter to the house. The girl promptly presented her lover. “Done gederin’ yer corn yit?” the old man asked. “Why, my dear sir, I have no corn to gather.” “Put up yer faten’ hogs yit ?” “I have no fattening hogs,” the astonished young man replied. “Uh, huh. Dun sowed yer wheat, I reckin?” “My dear sir, I have no wheat to sow.” “Uh, huh. Got through wid yer fall plowin’?" “Father,” said the girl, “he is not a farmer.” “Uh, huh. What does he do ?” “lama barber, sir.” “Uh, huh. Shaves, I reckon. Wall, Ed like fur yer tar shave my mule. Hejs got suthin’ de matter wid his ha’r. Airier dat come heah, an’ I’ll gin ye de wrist thrashen’ yer eber had. I’ll larn yer ter write po’try an’ sing. Come er sfhgin’ ’roun* heah any mo’ an’ I’ll fling yer ober de fence ’mung de hogs. I un’erstan’s yer. Knockin’ ’roun’ heah jes’ ter git me ter s’port yer. Go on away, de faster de better. Talk ter me ’bout a nigger whut sings an’ writes po’try.” —Arkansaw Traveler.

A Neat Capture.

One of the incidents that were often repeated with a lively jest and caused matay an evening laugh to ring among those stubborn hills, even during the darkest, dreariest and hardest days that we passed in trenches during the siege of "Vicksburg, ran thus: One night after Logan’s men had worked their approach up to the foot of the rebel works in front of them, they discovered the Coi federates at work inside bringing up bales of cotton to repair the damage our artillery had done to their works. Among the Union soldiers was a Yankee sailor who had been, as he claimed, “all over creation and the rest of the world,” and who “could do a little of everything, and a thing or two besides.” He suggested the plan, which was quickly indorsed by his merry comrades, of trying to steal the cotton away from the rebels. The suggestion was promptly acted upon. Some grappling hooks with long rope attached were procured. Placing the rope in the hands of his comrades so that they would be ready to give a sudden pull at the right time, the sailor-boy soldier gave the grappling hooks the proper swing, and cast them over the walls of the rebel fort. As the hooks struck inside he cried to the boys who had hold of the rope to “pull like h—1!” which of course they did with lively eeal. The first pull showed that the merry experiment had succeeded, a result they had hardly expected. The hook had evidently aotually caught a firm hold of a bale of cotton, The wild cry that arose from the bewildered and astonished rebels, and the tenacity with which they hung to the end of the line, showed that they were not well pleased to see their cotton climb over iuto the Union lines in that manner. Those nearest at hand had caught hold and were doing their best, but a band of terror-stricken rebels made but poor show when pulling on a rope against twenty wild, enthusiastic Yankee boys. With aery of triumph the Unien soldiers brought the rope, grappling hooks, cotton and all over the waifs of the rebel fort and down into the UDion trench. Their surprise was now unbounded, to find that instead of a bale of cotton, as they supposed, they had actually caught and brought over a rebel Lieutenant. The grappling hooks had firmly caught in his clothing, and he was obliged to come over. He was

hurt considerably, but with good and proper care at the hands of his captors soon recovered, but insists that he cannot understand how he happens to be on our side of the line. This incident is insisted upon so strongly that we are almost compelled to believe that in the main it is true. There is only one matter of doubt: It is well known that Logan’s soldiers are not only famous fighters but also capital story-tellers. It would be hard to find boys that do more fighting and have more fun than they. —From “Am\.y Life," by A. O. Marshall.

Vanished Landmarks.

A rather subdued stranger entered an Austin restaurant, and, taking a seat near the door, was soon confronted by a waiter, to whom he communicated his order. The meal was soon before him, smoking hot, and, as the waiter was about to withdraw, the stranger said: “Er—see here; there are no flies in this coffee.” “Flies! O, no, sir,” replied the man with a Masonic apron, and a napkin over his shoulder. “I had expected to meet them here — in fact, I had half-way promised to — why, Heavens! I fail to recognize my old barleysoup friend, the cockroach!” “There are no cockroaches in this house, sir,” said the waiter, sternly. “And so the roach, too, has deserted us. Well, well Say, where’s the limp, wet napkin, with prune sauce on one side, and sweet oil on the other ?” “Our napkins are all fresh and newly laundried.” “Strange, ’tis passing strange. Where’s the variegated tablecloth that looked like a Dolly Varden dress pattern done up in coffee dregs and molasses?” “Our table spreads are clean every day, sir.” “Well, well.” Suddenly the man commenced spearing around in the butter dish with his fork. “I don’t find it,” he murmured, sadly. “Don’t fiiid what?” snapped the waiter. “Has she gone ?” “Has who gone?” “The bright-eyed divinity who used to conceal samples of her auburn ringlets every morning under the butter lump.* She knew I always looked forward with pleasure to those little mementos.” “Our butter ha 3 no hair.” “I see,” sighed the man. “Bald as a door knob. Hasn’t there been some kind of a change in the management of this place ?” “Yes.” “All of the dear, old, familiar landmarks seem to have disappeared. Is this a menagerie ?” “No, that’s biscuit.” “Sure enough “Ah, distinctly I remember—it was only last December — That I coolly, calmly fondled snch a biscuit o’er, and o’er; Then I broke the cover off it, and I maybe called false prophet. If a baked and blistered mouse did not roll out upon the floor.” We have previously stated that the subdued stranger was seated near the door, and it was a good thing for him that he was. The -waiter made ope wild break, but the subdued anticipator of a hearty meal fled. —Texas Siftings.

A Reliable Carrier.

A business man near the foot of Woodward avenue had three or four important letters to mail one day, and as an acquaintance was going up Griswold street he asked him to drop them into the Postoffice. The mission was cheerfully accepted, and yesterday the acquaintance happened in at the office again for the first time since that date. “Say, Ben,” began the dealer, “do you ever forget anything?” “Never!” was the prompt reply. “Do you remember the letters I gave you to mail one day last month ?” “Perfectly.” “And you mailed them ? ” “I did.” “Please feel in your left-hand coattail pocket and see if they are not there.” “I’ll feel, but I remember posting those letters as plainly as I remember ” He felt something and began to haul up, and out oame four letters, crumpled and soiled and worn. “I thought so. ” “Well, by gosh!” “And the money I gave you to buy stamps !” “Bless me—bless me—did I ever! Say, I had that coat day to go to a funeral, and 11l be hanged if I didn’t forget to go to that, too!”—Detroit Free Press.

A Wife’s Admiration.

Sir Arthur Wellesley, before he became the Duke of Wellington, married a charming Irish lady, Catherine Pakenham. They had been long attached to each other, and the marriage took place just after he had returned from his brilliftht career in India. During his absence of eleven years she never. once wrote to him, yet her affection was constant. When Lady Wellesley was presented to Queen Charlotte, her Majesty said, “I am happy -to see "at my court so bright an example of constancy. But did yon really never write one letter to Sir Arthur during his long absence?” “No, never, your Majesty.” “Add did you never think of him ?” "Yes, your Majesty, very often.” She was proud of her husband’s reputation, but prouder of the fact that he merited it. Just before her death, Bhe was visited by frifnds who found her lying on a hoi a in a room filled with the magnificent presents of cities, kingdoms and sovereigns. When the visitors gazed npon them with admiration, the Duchess exclaimed, with a weak voice: “All tribute# tp merit! There’s the vfclue! All pure, no corruption suspected even 1 That could not be said of the Duke of Marlborough!”— Youth’s Companion. Poverty is uncomfortable, but nine times out of ten, the best thing that can happen to a young man is to be tossed overboard and compelled to sink or swim for himself.

Frugal Dinners.

There was a great duchess who said to a neighbor, “When there’s only my lord and I, we have always a dish of roast.” The story is well known of George IV. sending away a splendid dinner and dining off beans and baeon. The Duke of Wellington could dine very heartily on a mutton chop, and, in fact, did not appreciate anything beyond it. There is a great nobleman who is careful to have a magnificent dinner every day, but he frequently dines off an apple, and, from his theory of health, wishes his own family to partake as slightly as possible of the good things outspread on the bounteous boaiS. I was talking one day with a worthy Carthusian monk who dined habitually on an apple and biscuit. He explained to me th&t what people called hunger about 7 o’clock was only a little acidity left by the noonday meal. Many experienced stagers, who studv dietetic science, out of a big menu pick up a very little dinner, and complain, in fact, that they make a very poor dinner, because there are only a, few perfectly natural items. Of course a man ought to know how both to abound and to be in want; but I confess to a British prejudice in favor of heartily enjoying a good dinner. —London Society.

The Latest Bonanza in California.

Biebek, Cal.—Mr. Thomas P. Ford, editor of the Mountain Tribune, of this place, publishes that the great pain-care, St. Jacobs Oil, has worked wonders in his family, and that he wonld not be without it. He states that among all the "people St. Jacobs Oil is the most popular medicine ever introduced.

The Theater Fool.

The fool sometimes goes to the theater, and as often as he does he falls to wondering at what he sees and hears. People are supposed to go and see and hear the play. They may not care for it after all, sometimes because it is not worth caring for, and frequently because they are incapable of appreciating what is beautiful and good. But what right have these people, in either case, to disturb others, who also go to see and hear, who have paid their money for their privilege, and who are entitled to it? How can they be so careless of the rights of others? And yet they are—for you hardly sit through a performance without being disturbed by the idiotic conversation of some ol your neighbors. The papers have pitched into this nuisance time and again, but there are evidently many people who go to theaters who do not read the papers.— Chaff.

Regularity Brings Vigor.

Local irregularities produce weakness of the entire system, Ih order, therefore, to re-estab-lish health and strength upon a sure basis, these irregularities must be permanently overcome. Many persons endeavor to reform them by remedies which address themselves merely to the symptoms, without affecting the cause. If such individuals were to use Instead Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters, they wonld speedily appreciate the difference between the medicine wliich palliates, and one which entirely removes physical disability. 'lhat prime regulator of bodily disturbances restores the derelict organs to an uninterrupted and healthy pertonaanwa various duties, whereby alone the system can recover its lost tone and vigor. Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters are a tonic medicine, but they are a.tonio which regulates ere they strengthen the system. Tub husband is called the head of the family only by those young writers who haven't had any experience in married life.

Their Name is Legion.

Legions of people have had their lives made miserable by Piles. This painful difficulty is often induced and always aggravated by Constipation. Kidney-Wort is the great remedy for all affections of this kind. It acts a# a gentle cathartic, promotes a healthy action ot the bowels, and soothes and heals the inflamed surfaces. It. has cured hundreds of coses where all other remedies and applications have failed. Sold by all druggists. Why is a leaky tub like a poor rule? Because it won’t hold good.

Dairymen Getting Rich.

Progressive dairymen who are only satisfied with the host results, are adding to their wealth and conferring a benefit on society, by the rapid Improvements they are making in the art of butter-making. This class use Wells, Richardson & Co.’s Improved Butter Color, and know by actual test that it fills every claim made for it.. A married woman can write better poetry than a single one, because a poet is born, not maid. __ Oct eortuk Season.— Dresses, cloaks, coats., stockings, and all garments can be oolored successfully with the Diamond Dyes. Fashionable colors. Only 10c at druggists. Wells, Richardson & Co., Burlington, Vt. The dark age: A woman between 35 and 60. “You claim too much for Samaritan Nervine,” says a skeptic. Its patrons say just the opposite. How singular that a baby’s Ist 2th should come tth. “Dr. Richmond’s Sanuiritan Nervine cured me of Epilepsy.”—Jacob Sutos, St. Joseph, Mo. Why is a leaky tub like a poor rule? Because it doesn’t hold good. For several years I was troubled with Catarrh ; have tried many remedies. Ely's Cream Balm has proved the article desired. I believe it is the only oure.— L. B. Coburn, Hardware Merchant, Towanda, Pa. (Bee advertisement) Puke Cod-liver Oil, made from selected livers on the sea-shore, by Casweul, Hazard A Co., New York. It is absolutely pure and sweet Patients who have once taken it prefer It to all others Physicians have decided It superior to any of the other oils in market I had suffered from Catarrh for ten years; the pain would be so severe that I was obliged to send for a doctor. I had entirely, lost sense of smell. Ely's Cream Balm has worked a miracle.—C. 8. Halleys, Binghamton, N. Y. Chaffed Hands, Face, Pimples, and rongfi Skin, cored by using Juniper Tab Soap, made by Cabwxll, Hazard A Co. New York. Not a costly medicine—3s doses Piso's Cure for Consumption for 25 cento. “Bough on Rats” clears out Rate, Mice. 150. Mother Swan's Worm Syrup, tasteless. 25e. “Bough on Coughs” Troches, 15c; LiquEUSOc. Wells’ May- Apple (liver) Pills, 10c. “Rough on Toothache,” instant relief. 15c. ' ‘'Badm-pAlbA,'' OreslKltiner *nd Urinur On n. gl. “Kou«h on Conn,** for Conn, W«rU, Banians, lta. Wells' Hwdth Bsnewer curw Djr*pep«U, Impotent*. The “Rough on” Tooth Powder, elegant 15c.

The Doctor’s Indorsement

Dr. W. D. Wright, Cincinnati, 0., Sends the subjoined professional indorsement: I have prescribed Dr. Wm. Hall’s Balsam for the Lungs in a great number of cases, and always with success. One case in particular was given up by several physicians who had been called in lor consultation with myself. The patient had all the symptoms of confirmed consumption—cold night sweats, hectic fevmv harassing cough, etc. He commenced immediately to get better, and was soon restored to Ms usual health. I found Dr. ffm. Hall's Balsam for the Lungs the most valuable expectorant for breaking up distressing coughs and colds.

Indorsed by the Clergy.

We take, pleasure In recommending Dr. Warner’s White Wine of Tar Syrup to any public speaker that may be troubled with throat or lung disease. Hev. M. 1.. Booher, pastor Presbyterian church. Heading, Mich. Rev. J. T. ladings, Albion, Mich. Rev. V. L. Lockwood, Ann Arbor, Mich.

“Put up” at the Gault House.

The business man or tourist will find firstclass accommodations at the low price of $3 and $3.50 per day at the Gault House, Chicago, corner Clinton and Madison streets. Tills far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments first-class. H. W. Hoyt, Proprietor.

Carbo-lines.

The winter blast is stern and cold, Yet Bummer has Its harvest gold; And the baldest head that ever whs seen Can be covered well with Corboline.

Cured Clergymen.

Rev. L. 8. Caultan, of Circle ville, Kas.. says: Dr. Warner, your White Wine of Tar Syrup has boon in my family and found to be all and even more than you claim of it. It is a speedy our• for all Throat and Lung diseases. An eminent physician first proscribed Plso'B Cure for Consumption.

St Jacobs Oil

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1 capital present, CASH •fl.i’i!) 1 grand present. CASH 4,000 t present.CASH..., ... 2,000 1 present,CASH .......... 1,000 1 <N« presents, each valued at 510.,... 1,000 800 presents, each valued at OS l.onO 1 Grand Plano 750 SU. 8. Greenbacks of 9100 EACH.... 800 1 Family Carriage... 600 1 Grand Cabinet Organ. 350 0 V. 8. Greenbacks of 9&0 EACH 800 iiffißsSiSSi^SgKS l iss ?iattjggagyy»y.-r- *» hlsfe-ZME= as

M^ssEsSL«Rir£sas& > sw , 1 sMfe Presents will be sent to any address, wbethor the subscriber ; be present dF not/, As we only charge • 1.50 a year (onr regular price;, you understand that We grrt away those 100.000 presents without cost to those who subscribe. id± <vt ,■> ii(> Sample copies or back numbers of onr be mailed to any adefifett for 15 cents, which amount can be sentin 1 cent ora cent postage* stampajiftMtfmter* aro antStataed to receive subscriptions. Remit by registered letter or money of iSr. AddfiJJal lettafeta^lT^ THE FOFUIjAR ! MOMTPHIjY, 68 Dearborn Street, OUCAtiQ. ILLS,

ALLEN’S Lung Balsam! A GOOD FAMILY REMEDY! —THAT WILL CURE—COUGHS, COLDS, CROOP, IN. MmAitk, Dm list, •f Cti?clnn.ti, wm thought Jw«nl»h WrfcW, *1 tnb.iT, th« Uut ,U|ti .f ktoton County, w. V*- { «>»|,llu>ud«.bv 1. M write. mUi.tkUwtakiJ dnrej bv liU frte~l. In try «M*M Alton’, 1.0,1, Unlwun aft,, A 8 *° <i VM P'o'toosced Isa*. IM Oat It ,1 one, fared bl> Wto «u*h ud tb.t be we. f mr ***’- r * *) l ’ V r !Wetkm •kle to rwome kb yrsa- W keend W, tU* Uce. It the kest nirtldne to to* u “ CONSUMPTION. —-ip Wm. C. IHmm, Mr- 1 __ chant, of Boviuii Q4tM. ( m Wau A. Grahwn A Oa»g Va, wrlto. AprtlV 53! -> jT Dn sF* t ■Wan had given her up M P token uffißattoaMand bees. cur * d kUn " il^*»«ws4 cured. Hetlffluafiioe/- B* B gltfr ‘ ol ' ’ fHcted eknuld gtre It a trial. |%| • w ‘ 6 * ALLEN S Lime BALSAM I* harmless to the moat delicate child! It contains no Opium in any form I RM.ntu.mled by I’byelel.M, Blsltosre sad Rsnse. Is Awl ly eeerybody wbo baa given It a good Mai. It leu fail, ta Brtaf Relief. As an Expectorant It has no Eqnal. SOIaD by all medicine dealers. Delicate and Feeble Ladies. Those languid, tiresome sensations, oanoing* you to feel scarcely able to be on you*, feet; that constant drain that Is taking front' Sour system all it* former elasticity; driving ne bloom from your cheeks; that continual! strain upon vour vital forces, rendering yoti irritable and fretful, can easily be removed by tho use of that marvelous remedy, Hon B tters. Irregularities and obstructions ofl your system are relieved at once, while tha special cause of periodical pain are permanently removed. None receives so muoh' benefit, and nono are so profoundly grateful and show such an interest in recommending Hop Bitters os women. Feels Young Again. “My mother was afflicted a long time with Neuralgia and a dull, heavy, inactive condition of the whole system; headache, nervous prostration, and was almost helpless, No physician or medicines did her any good. Three months ago she began to use Hop Bit'.ors with suoh good effect that she seeing and feels young again, although over 70 years old. We think there Is no other medicine fit to use in the family-’’—A lady, in Providence. Bradford, Pa, May 8,1875, It has cured me of several diseases, suoh as nervousness, sickness at the stomach, monthly troubles, eta I have not seen a sick day in a year, since I took Hop Blttera All my neighbors use them. Mrs. Fannib Green. $3,000 Lost.—“A lour of Europe that cost ms "$3,000, don* me less good one bottle of Hop “Bitters; they also cured my wife of fifteen "yiars’ nervous weakness, sleepless* m-grand "Byspepsia.” B.’ M., Auburn, N. Y. High Authority. Hop Bitters is not, in any sense, an alcohol!* beverage or liquor, and Could not be sold lot use except to persons! desirous of obtaluing a medicinal bit t.rs. . Green B. Baum? ch.. m Bins—l have been/jsuflerlng ten years and t tried your Hop Bittern and it done me mare good than all the doctors. Miss S. S. Boone. Rur 'Mnxl I We are sq thankful, Ao.sey that our pursing baby wak permanfnily .! cured of a dangeron* and protracted const!tJi’ion and irregularity of the I rowels by the use pt Hop Bitters by its mother, which at the same time restored her to Bet health'and *te*ngth. Tho Parents, o>*t£|\ N. Y. ,^ ( ~TO SPECULATORS. *-H«BSa 00 ” ™ ° ’g££lS£ c '» Commerce, Chicago. New York. GRAIN A PROVISION BROKERS, We have exclusive private telaarsph wire between ChicsKo and New York. Will execute order* on our ABENTB WANTED PSBi,W ting Machine ever invented. Will knit a pair of stocklnga with HEEL and TOE complete In 2tt minutes. Brill sUoknit a great varia&ot Isucjwork tor which there is »lw»y* awady market. Mend for circular and terms to the Twombly KiiltUng Machine Co., US Tremont Street Boston. Mass. O.N.C. No. 3—B*. 1 in this paper.

800 Farbemph Pictures, EACH 95 91,000 500 Pocket Knives, EACH 75 cento.. 875 1 ,oo<V Goili%ngfii BookSdSto.VAil'eaeU 1,000 15 U. 8. Greenbacks, EACH 910 150 LSilver Service IXS BO U. 8- Greenbacks, EACH 95 100 l 5 Sewing Machines, 975 EACH 375 5 its SasSsass.*4i.V»c:“ri 88 5(1 U. 8. Greenbacks, 81 EACH 50 B Ladles’ Chatelaine Watches 50 860 Photograph Albums, EACH 810.. 8,600 and 07,587 other presents valued at from 20 cents to sli J4AC H.whlch make a grand total of 100,000 presents, thus guaranteeing a present to gnws«yv«9us $1.50. as directed.