Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 December 1883 — THE BAD BOY. [ARTICLE]

THE BAD BOY.

“Say, mister,” said the bad boy to ;he grocery man, as he came in buryng his face in a California pear, “it ia nighty kind of you to give away such aice pears as this, but I don’t see how sou can afford it I have seen more han twenty people stop and read your iign out there, take a pear and go off shewing it.” * “What’s that,” said the grocery man turning pale and starting for the door, where he found a woodsawyer taking a pear. “Get away from there,” and he drove the woodsawyer away and came in with a sign in his hand, on which was printed. “Take one.” “I painted that sign and put it on a pile of chromos of a new clothes-wringer, for people to take one, and, by gum, the wind has Wowed that sign over on the basket of pears, and I suppose that every darned fool that has passed this morning has taken a pear, and there goes the profits on the whole day’s business.- Say, you didn’t change that sign, did you ?” and the grocery man looked at the bad boy with a glance that was full of lurking suspicion. “No, sir-ee,” said the boy as he wiped the pear juice off his face on a piece of tea paper, “I have quit all kinds of foolishness, and wouldn’t play a joke on a graven image. But I went to the Sullivan boxing match all the same, though,” and the boy put up his hands like a prize-fighter and backed the grocery man up against a molasses barrel, and made him beg. “Oh, say,” said the grocery man, confidentially, “there is a rumor that our minister is a reformed prize-fighter, pnd an old maid that was in here yesterday says that he has been fighting With your pa. Do you know anything about it?”

“Know anything about it? I know all about it. It was me that, brought about the meeting between them,” and the boy dodged away from an imaginary opponent in a prize ring, and tipped pver a barrel of. a,x halves. “You see, me and my chum, have a spt of boxing gloves, and we go down in the laundry in‘the basement andbox with each other, evenings. Since I got the Irish, boy to box with pa, last summer, and he pasted pa in the nose, pa np,t visited the laundry to see us bqx, bu,t last night the minister called to talk with pa about raising money, to pay the church debt; and they -iieaxdais down stairs warming each other with- the gloves, and the minister asked pa.what it was, and-pa said the boys were having-a. little! innocent amusement with boxing-gloves, and he asked the minister ifbethought' there was any harm in it; rind the ininister said he didift ‘ thihk there *Was. He said when in college the students used to box in the gymnasium every day, and he enjoyed it very much and got so he didn’t take a back seat for any of them. He said the only student that ever got the best of him in boxing was.one who is now preaching in Chicago; arid he was ter in the college. Pa asked the minister if he wouldn’t like to go down cellar and see the boys box, and he said he didn’t mind, and so they came down where we were. I felt really ashamed when the minister came down, and was going to apologize, but the minister said he considered boxing the healthiest exercise there was, and if our people would practice more with box-ing-gloves and dumb-bells there would be less liver complaint and less need

of summer vacations. Me and my chum boxed a Couple of rounds, and the minister told us where we made several mistakes, and then pa got excited - and wanted the minister to put on the gloves with him, but he said he was out of practice, and he did not know but it would cause talk in the church if it should get out that he had been boxing with one of the members, but pa told him nobody wo uir ever know it, and it would do them both good, and so the minister took off his coat, let his suspenders hang down, rolled up his sleeves, andthey put on the glaves. I tell you it was fun for us boys, and I enjoyed it better than a circus. Ph is a pretty hard hitter, but he hasn’t got the wind that the minister has. Pa pranced aroiihd, and the minister kept his face guarded, cause he didn’t waiit to have to preach with a black eye, but pretty soon pa made a pass at the preacher and took him ‘biff’ fight on the nose, but he rallied and landed one on pa’s stomach, and made pa grunt. The blow on the nose made the minister perspire, and he was more excited than I ever saw him when he was preaching, and he danced around pa until he got a good chance and then he landed one on pa’s eye, and the other under pa’s ear, and pa gave him one on the eye, and they clinched, and the minister got pa’s head under his arm and was giving it to pa real hard, just as ma ami three of the sisters.of the church came down cellar to see ma’s canned fruit, and the miptiser got pa’s leg tanged snd him against ma and they both went into .a clothes basket of wet plothoflpSmd ma yelled ‘police,’ and she scratched pa on the side of the face, and the minister turned 'suddenly and one glove hit. a deacon’s wife on theLbnngs and knocked' the hairoff', and the minister .wfe&ex cited and he said, ‘Whoop! I’m a bad man. This makes me think of when I was on the turf,’ and the woman yelled murder. Ma picked pa opt o*f the clothes basket, and held his head, and wiped his bloody nose on a pillow case, and. pa wffi mad at the. minister for striking «o hard, and the minister said he shouldn’t have struck hard only pa pasted him on the nose, and pa said it was no such thing, and referred to my chum, who was referee, and the women all said it was a perfect shame to see a minister descend to become a slugger, and I guess they are going to bring the minister up before the committee and bounce him We all got on our coats and went up stairs, and finally ma furnished some court plaster for the minister’s nose, and he went home with two of the sisters, though they insisted that he should wear soft gloves, so if he got on a boxing tantrum on the way home he couldn’t hurt them. The minister felt real bad about hurting pa, and pa says that he will never attend that church again, as he should feel all the time as though the minister would be liable to escape from the pulpit and knock him out in one round. If the women had kept out of the cellar

nobody would ever have known anything about it, but it is all over town now. Say, do you think it is right for a minister to hide his talents under a bushel or should he put on the gloves when members of his church want him to?” “By gum. I don’t know,” said the grocery man. “But if I was a minister, and could box, and anybody went to put on any scollops over me, I would, at least I think I would, from the light I have before me now, knock his two eyes into one. What’s the use of learning to box, and then allow folks to bosg you around. I have seen some ministers go around in a meek and lowly manner, taking slack from every Deacon in church, and being made to feel as though, he was an object of charity, who could whip the whole congregation in a fair, stahd-up fight, and I sometimes think if such a minister would get on his ear and knock a few of his persecutors down a couple of pair of stairs, they would have more respect for him. But it is fashionable for ministers to seem to be dependent sort of people, and I suppose it always will be.” “Well, I must go and get a couple of oysters to put on pa’s eyes to take out the black,” and the boy went out and put the sign ‘take one’ on a pile of dressed chickens.— Peek's Sun.