Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 November 1883 — Reducing the Blemishes. [ARTICLE]

Reducing the Blemishes.

A sallow complexioned old lady, accompanied by a remarkably unprepossessing daughter, walked into an Austin photograph gallery. “Be you the photograff man?” she inquired, wiping her spectacles, and carefully adjusting them to the various spurs, dips, angles and sinuosities of her Corinthian nose. “yes, ma’am,” replied the artist in plate glass and chemicals, “can I do anything for you ? r ’ “No, I’m too far over the bay to waste any mechanical genius on me. It’s my daughter, Partheny, here, that I wants tuk. ” “AH right, madam, will you”— “Can’t yer soffen down her complexion a little, an’ tone up her nose what was broke failin’ out a winder?” “I think so,” replied the artist. “An’ kin yer wipe off them freckles ?” “Oh, yes.” “I’ve seen photograffs of dead oodles of our relation, an’ I’ve allers noticed that the picters flattered ’em clean out of sight. I know enough about the biz to recognize that you’ve got the whole thing in yer own hands, an’ kin turn out a perfessional beauty or a jimpli-cute-of the first water, just as yer please. Do you think yon kin reduce those ears a trifle—jest a leetle. I know Partheny has got big ears, but still she ain’t no jack-rabbit. Partheny is a generous girl, as yer kin see by her ears.” “I think there will be no difficulty”— “How about that air squint in the left optic ? Do yer think yer kin manage that ?” “Oh, yes, I can touch it up with India ink.” “What* particular pose do yer think Partheny would take best in, full face or a side show?” “You mean quarter view or a profile?” “I guess I do. Yer see the photograff is goin’ to a young feller what put an advertisement into a newspaper for correspondents, and Partheny’s writin’ to him. Now yon see how necessary it is for the picter to kinder favor her little blemishes. You’ll do the fair thing by Partheny, won’t yer ?” “Certainly. What size, madam, cabinet or cards ?” “Which is the biggest?” “Cabinet.” “Guess then we’d better try her on a cabinet. Es the photograffer does a good job, the bigger the better. What’s yer figgers ?” i “Pour dollars a dozen for cabinets.” “How much for one ?” “Same price; it is the negative that costs, not the number.”' “Well, all right. Just go ahead an’ square them shoulders back a little, an’ bring the nose down fine, an’ wipe off the freckles, an’ straighten the eye, an’ reduce the ears, an’whiten the complexion—an’ the hair! It won’t be red in the picter, will it ?” “Oh, no. There will be no color shown but black.” “That’s a comfort. Gracious! Partheny, what would he think if yer sent ’hn an oil paintin’ taken from life! Kin I stay in the room?” “Oh, yes.” “All right. Strike an artitood, Partheny, that won’t give you away, an’ we’ll rope in that young man as ante aa yer afoot high.”— Texas Siftings.