Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 November 1883 — Where It Was Hot. [ARTICLE]

Where It Was Hot.

“Come from the tropics, I reckon.” “The isthmus,” replied the seedy man; “you seem to know me. Did I ever meet you there?” “Never was there. Never saw you before.” “I thought you might have been there durin’ the hot spell of ’67. The heat was so thick that we couldn’t tell who was around at that time. That was the year I got that black eye. Kan agin a door, and the heat shivered up so that I didn’t know I’d struck a door until the following winter! Any objection to my closing the transom, gentlemen ? I think I feel a draught!” “Must be pretty hot in that climate, ” remarked another of the party. “Warmish,” assented the seedy man, with a shiver, “I was in the laundry business there for a time, and I ran everybody else out of the trade. None of the rest could get along without scorchin’ things, but I just went ahead with pieces of hot ice and made my eternal fortune!” “Got any of it now ?” asked another, moving up to give the seedy man room. “No, sir!” returned the seedy man, with a sigh. “All the money in that country is gold; mine just melted and run away one hot night in March! That was the month we lost’ all the horses on the isthmus. The fodder all melted, and scalded the stock to death! I walked fourteen miles to find a shady spot, so I could harden up a little hay v for my pet stallion, and, when I got back, the stallion’s teeth .had melted, and the poor brute had died of hunger! I say, let that man shut the windows, won’t you?” “You must have a chill,” suggested the host. “No, I’m cold,” persisted the seedy man. “We almost died for want of water that spring. The sea evaporated forty odd miles from the shore, and all the springs were so dry that we had to sprinkle their beds with oil to keep the dust down. There was more than 1,000,000 died of thirst, and I only kept alive because I had some quicksilver which didn’t evaporate. Will you be good enough to move that chair from in front of me ? I can feel air cornin’ through the rounds in the back.” “How did you get out alive ?” asked

the host, after ordering the seedy man’s glass replenished for the fourth time. "That’s one of the most curious things you ever heard of,” replied the seedy man. “I seen the lightnin’ rod on my house expandin’, and that put me up to somethin’. I just took down that ro4 and planted myself on one end and let her expand. In a few hours I was in the piney woods of North Carolina. You must excuse me, gentlemen; this is too cold for me. I’ll go home and get my overcoat and come back.” — lßrooklyn Eagle.