Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 November 1883 — All Right and All Wrong. [ARTICLE]

All Right and All Wrong.

. Four business men sat in a Third avenue car on their way down town. Looking up from his newspaper one of them said: “Here’s an item that says gopher holes make horseback riding dangerous on the plains. Now, Pd like to know what a gopher is, anyway,” looking around inquiringly. “A gopher is a striped squirrel,” said a tall man, in a tone of quiet assurance. “You’re mistaken, sir,” said his neighbor. ”A gopher is a land turtle that burrows.” “I shall have to differ from you, gentleman, ” interposed the fourth man. “A gopher is neither a striped squirrel nor a turtle. It is a kind of rat.” A man on the opposite seat, who had listened to the conversation with evident interest, said: “Excuse me, gentleman, but you are all mistaken. A gopher is a snake. I’ve killed lots of ’em, and I know what I am talking about.” “Are you willing to back up your opinion?” asked the gopher-squirrel man, taking a roll of bills from his pocket. “Certainly, sir. Here’s $5 that says a gopher is a snake.” The money was put into the hands of the gentleman who started the discussion. He accepted it under protest, saying that he was positive that a gopher was a gray burrowing squirrel. He had often seen them. A heated discussion followed, in which the words gopher, snake, squirrel, rat and turtle figured prominently. The money in the stakeholder’s hand soon amounted to $25. It w'as agreed that Webster should settle the dispute. The gentlemen alighted from the car, went into a hotel, and a copy of the “Unabridged” was procured. “Gol-gop-p-p-gopher—here it is,” said the stakeholder, as he ran his fingers down the page: Gopher—An animal of several different species. The name was originally given by French settlers to many burrowing animals from their honeycombing the earth. In Canada and Illinois the name was given to a gray burrowing squirrel, west of the Mississippi and in Wisconsin to a striped squirrel. In Missouri, a common species is a pouched rat of a reddish or chestnutbrown color, with broad, mole-like fore feet. In Georgia a snake is called by the same name, and in Florida a turtle. As the stakeholder refunded the money, he said: “Gentlemen, it appears that we are all right and all wrong. But we have, at least, learned something.”—New York Sun.