Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 November 1883 — On the War-Path. [ARTICLE]

On the War-Path.

“I’m not in the habit of traveling, and I want to know that things is perfectly safe,” said a brawny woman, as she stood at the door of the car and glared around. “Take a seat, ma’am,” suggested the conductor. “Don’t be afraid.” “Oh, I ain’t afraid,” shouted the woman, waving her umbrella. “What I want to see is the three men who wans me for a fourth hand at euchre, and then would like to bet on a little poker! Just point out that trio!” and she marched into the car and stamped her foot. “They got off at the last station,” whispered the conductor. “WJiere’s the man with the three-card game, who lets me win at first and then gobbles my pile ?” she bawled, turning on the conductor fiercely. “Let him commence now, while I am at home and within reach of my friends. ” “He never travels on this road, ” replied the conductor, in great distress. “Sit down, like a good woman.” “Not till I see the man who wants me to cash his check. Which car does he travel in ?” “He is in jail,” moaned the conductor. “Sit down here heside this gentleman.” She sat down. and turned upon her fellow-passenger vindictively. “You haven’t been winning any prize in a lottery that you want me to help you collect, have you?” she demanded. “You don’t want to borrow my trunk check to open a seat with, and then substitute another ? Look here, if you breathe between now and the time I get out, I’ll poke this umbrella down your throat and turn it inside-out. I’ve read about you sharpers, but you can’t greenhorn me without wishing you died with Ananias and Sappliira!”— Drake's Travelers' Magazine.