Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 October 1883 — PEOPLE YOU KNOW. [ARTICLE]

PEOPLE YOU KNOW.

And Sometimes Wi»h You Didn't—Male and Female Coudu of a Mild Order. [From the Chicago Herald.] The man who apologizes—what a bore! Thinks an apology settles all accounts with his fellows. Carelessly steps on a friend’s tender toes. Apologizes and steps on them again. Walks along crowded streets swinging his cane against people and apologizing right and left. Turns to apologize to a man behind and runs into a woman in front. More apologizing. Thinks he is very polite. Never stops to consider that if he were, the necessity for apology would be removed. Would that he might bow himself off the Government pier or choke on hia tiresome “Beg pardon, sir.” The woman who apologizes. Fishing for compliments. Dressed in her newest and best she apologizes for her appearance.* At table apologizes for her poor biscuits. Oh, for somebody strong enough to reply. “Well, I have eatten better,” just to see her fly in a rage and deny it. She will live a long time. Heaven does not wish for her. The man who cannot wait. Makes everybody nervous. In the barber shop walks up and down in a fidgety manner if he has to wait for a moment for a barber. After he is shaved stands at the door half an hour wondering where be will go to kill time. At the bridge loses his patience and looks cross at everybody. Filially gets across and waits ten minutes to tell a friend how he dislikes to wait two. At the ff ail way crossing says it is just his infernal luck to have to wait for a long train to pass. Sometimes runs to get |across ahead of the train, and, being across, stops to See the train go by. Sometime he may no’t run fast enough to get clear across. Great is hope. The man who looks back to swear at a truckman who nearly runs into his buggy. Truckman drives right along about his business. Man ke4ps swearing and looking back at him. Will not a fire engine please come down street in front and knock him over a block or two. Woman who primps. Disgustingly neat. Everything in its place—except the woman. She has a dust rag in her hand and is in everybody's way. Makes you get up and let her dust the chair you have sat on for an hour. Looks completely disgusted at your dusty boots. Never opens doors or shutters, lest sunshine get in and fade the carpet. Keeps windows hermetically sealed to shut out dust. Life, though short, is also too long in certain cases. Man who wraps $lO bill outside a roll of sl’s. . Harmless, though. Man who talks to himself cm the street. Not always crazy, not always. Chicago is plentifully supplied with them. Sometimes he talks because his mind is so engrossed in business he forgets where he is. Sometimes he talks to make people believe he has a mind and that it is engrossed. He would like to be deemed a much-absorbed man. If the lake would only absorb him. f The woman who washes on Monday cannot think of doing her washing on any other day. Postpones her husband’s funeral until Tuesday because Monday is wash-day. Must have breakfast at 6to get the dishes out of the way early, and give the day to the regular order. Maybe thi* woman will fall into a wash-tub some Monday morning before anybody is up to help her out. While there’s life there’s soap. The man who cannot tell a lie. How stupid 1 Can’t tell a lie to entertain a friend. Stick to thq truth, no matter how stale and uninteresting it may be. Doesn’t know that the right to be deceived is the most precious of all human rights. Thinks it is sinful to violate truth and make people happy. Must tell a sick man he is dying even if it kills him. May he never hear anything but truth. The curse is complete. The man who uses a book-mark. Thinks he has read up to it.. Does not know that if he has read and not merely skimmed he would need no mark to find where he left off. Does not know what reading means.