Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 September 1883 — HAVE A POLITIC. [ARTICLE]

HAVE A POLITIC.

Bob Burdette** Adrie* to Toon* Men Political Aspirations. Be something, young man. If none of the existing parties satisfy you, organize one of your own, and go “sloshing around.” But have a politic. Institute a war cry. View with alarm and point with pride on your own hook, but do view and point. If you are very vigorous you may also at times “recoil with horror.” You will find this very affective toward the close of the campaign. If I had time, my son, I believe I could fit you out with a full and complete assortment of tools, weapons and armor for politics. You should have, at the opening of the Campaign, beside the matters already mentioned: One dozen kegs of nails, wherewith to nail the enemy’s lies. Shriek every time you nail a lie “Down with the Mormons.” A few judicious lies to toss around carelessly' and not too early, just to keep them busy. Shout when you scatter them. Say something mean about the Mormons. A few “demands” for things that we already have, and have had for fifty years. Nobody will notice this if you only yell them out lustily, and with the air of a man who is saying something new. The older the “demand” the louder you must yell when you make it. “Demand” especially that the Mormons be suppressed. Some “pledges” more or less. Pledge yourself to something easy—the abolition of Mormonism, the abolition of slavery and unyielding opposition to the payment of the Confederate bonds of the State of Ohio. Roar about it, and give it to the Mormons red hot. Remember the soldiers. This is eminently proper, patriotic and cheap. ’Twon’t cost you a cent. Stand upon the house-tops, and in a loud voice call them “the defenders of the Republic,” and declare that they shall have their rights. Along near the close of the campaign you mip -1 t also promise them their lefts* That’s what they’ll get anyhow, but you needn’t say anything about that. Keep as noisy as possible and howl: “The Mormons must go!” Arraign the administration! Oh! every time arraign the administration. And a common arraignment will not do. If any platform contain not a scathing arraignment of the administration the same is a liar and a horse-thief, be the same more or less. If, unfortunately, you are on the side of the administration, then you must arraign the other party. But you labor under a great disadvantage if you are in with the administration. It is so much easier to stand in the street and throw stones at the window than to stand in the window and throw stonCs into the street. Blessed be the opposition. Because why? You’re liable to run out of stones. There are no stones in the house, whereas the street is full of ’em, and the man in the window can’t throw until the man fn the street has first fired a rock at him. And if it so be that the first dornick catches him in the eye his case is distressing; or if it be that while he is stooping to pick up the first stone the man in the street fires half a dozen more at his stooping figure then is the last state of the man in the house worse than the first. “Holler” as loud as you throw fast, and let the Mormons have it all the time. For the reasons set forth above, never fight on the defensive. Always keep going up and down like a raging lion, seeking where you may investigate somebody. “You haven’t taught me any. of the parries,” said a young soldier to an old Prussian fencingmaster. “Parries be—” (I have forgotten the Prussian for that word) replied the old mustache. “You - thrust; let the other fellow parry.” Lay it on to the Mormons, every lick. By all means have a slogan. No pa ty is equipped for contest until it has a slogan. In some wards you will want a slogan that holds a quait. Down with the Mormons, remember. And talk loud. • Pat civil-service re orm on-the back. Remember that, in the hands of the administration, it is a mere instrument of partisan tyranny and nepotism, an object of selfish ambition and base personal greed; but in your hands and those of your relatives, by cons mguinsity, marriage and adoption, public tation would be a place of honor and honesty, capacity and fidelity, and constitute the only valid claims to public indorsement. And right here, oh how you can scathe the Mormons! In regard to the tariff, denounce Mormonism as a scandal and a reproach, that is breeding a demoralization from its foul and festering chaps, that is fetid with rank corruption, that theatens to pollute the entire system of the grandest Government on “God’s green yarth.” This will catch the free protradetionists. I think there’s about all you need to start with, my boy, and the other things will occur to you as the campaign advances. It’s always safe to let into the Mormons. They have no friends east of the Rock mountains, and very few west. - Some 4 of these points you may have to modify a little, but in the main you can use them as they are. They have been used by two parties during the past twenty years, and have come out radiant with victory and noble defeat every time.