Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 September 1883 — Mr. Topnoody’s Wife. [ARTICLE]

Mr. Topnoody’s Wife.

When Mr. Topnoody • came hime to •tea he found his wife in a new calico dress and looking quite tidy, says the Merchant Traveler. “Aha, my fair one,” he said, gallantly, “you look charming.” “How?” she asked, looking at him closely. “You look charming, my deary.” “Been drinking again, have you?” “No, my dear; but you do make a fine appearance this evening, and if there is one thing I admire more than another it is a handsome, well-dressed woman.” “In a 5-cent calico, yes. I suppose . if you had paid $5 a yard for this you wouldn’t be so complimentary. That’s men’s ways. ” “But, my love, a dress need not cost much money to be becoming, and that one makes you really pretty. A friend to-day down the street was complimenting’ you on your good looks.” “Is that so? Was he after you for a subscription of some sort?” “No, my dear; it was a case of spontaneous admiration.” “And I received a compliment for you also.” “No?” said he, with an inquiring smile and a smoothing out of his face. “Yes; a lady told me she thought you were such a good man, and that when she looked in your face she could see in it evidences of a kindly spirit, a good heart, a generous nature, a manly courage, a noble soul, and all the other evidences of a model husband.” “Ah. my dear,” and Mr. Topnoody’s face was one broad expansion of •selfsatisfied smile, “that was delightful to you, wasn’t it ? And what did you say ?” “Oh, nothing much. ” ’ “But, my dear, you should have at least thanked her. ” “Well, I did thank her.” “Nothing else?” “Yes; I told her that appearances were always deceitful, and that ( it wasn’t a good thing to judge of a last year’s corpse by the fragrant flowers on the grave.” Topnoody ceased smiling.