Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 September 1883 — Page 6

SOUTH CAROLINA POSSUM. BY CHABLES H. WEUUk When de niggah heah de ponsum cry, lie slap his les an* he peel his eye; He jump ironn' an’ he kick up high, fcpr he know dat de critter gotta ale— Safe die! Shiloh! . He grab de gun an’ he fly t* de tree; tie look up high. Mr. Possum he see. fp'p mt de gun as he drap on ’is knee; Crak! go de rifle, den down down come he, B.one dead! Shiloh! • Nex* he skin Mr. Possum an’ he put 'im in de pot. Wid de bi! in’ wat r ah’ de po’k-grease hot. An’ ali stoh veg’table as he happen fer togot; Den at twelve er’ciock on d table it am sot, • Steamin’! Shiloh! AH pitch in, niggahs, now, an’ help yo’eel’s t* meat; Oar's nuttln' on d’ earth dat’s as good's possum t* eat; De legs am tender an’ de tail am sweet, De back-bone am honey-comb, an* likewise de Shiloh!

RAISING A CHURCH DEBT.

BY BEV. WASHINGTON GLADDEN.

The Methodist Church at New Albion bad long been struggling under a load of debt. Its edifice, built in the flush times following the war, was an ambitious piece of architecture—the church of the future beyond a doubt, since it was much larger than the congregation, and the pews were still vacant which the sanguine builders had expected to see filled by the men who were expected to pay oft’ the mortgages. The Rev. Mr. Thorpe, the pastor, had carried this debt now for two years. It had been the burden of his days and the nightmare of his dreams. At length he had brought his congregation to the point of attacking it. He had made several anxious pilgrimages to the rich Methodists in neighboring cities, but found small encouragement. It was evident that the Methodists of New Albion must shoulder their own load. Accordingly, the first Sunday of October was devoted to a carefullyplanned effort for the payment of the debt. Mr. Thorpe had concluded to dispense with the services of a “finangalist” and to direct his own forces. There was to be no regular service in the church, but the public were invited to meet at 10 o’clock in the forenoon, and, by the grace of God, the meeting would ’ not adjourn, Mr. Thorpe said, until the debt was paid. A collation was provided in the basement, so that the people might spend the day in the work. The debt amounted to $32,000, and when the meeting opened in the morning $17,000 were at once subscribed, this amount having been secured before and by private conference with the abler contributors. The excellent Start awakened great enthusiasm, and for a time subscriptions came in rapidly ; but long before the limit of the people’s ability seetoed tp lyivq been reached, and the - *list footed up only about $24,0®). Mr. Thorpe kept his forces well in hand, however* and showed no signs of wavering, Exhortations and appeals were interspersed with epiaging; a judicial and energetic committee did a great deal of personal, work with individuals; messengers were dispatched to labor ‘with absep-, tees. But it seemed evident that the large gift# had all been gathered in, and there was still a deficiency of. $7,000, that the small subscriptions yet to be Qlfljajned would by no .means pup-, ply As Mr. Franklin, of the Congregational Churclp. walked home after the service with his pastor, they passed the door of the Methodist Church. “Let’s look in a moment,” said the pastor, “and see how they are getting on.” They sat down im one of the back seats and watched the proceedings. From Mr. they saw that 2 though the moment assJsSfM® As they said: liitd “Making 1 "“Yes.” I■ Off IVPJ'-s■* I ''“But "“I don’t MM w.c “? £ f ’■ '*! ’“Ido. point, and “Pity!” afid -Mfi j Sluong,. dipntentiously. f* “ £... ' r After a Mr. Frank* Tin added, with a new interest: . “Is it lawful*'to ptill ydur fellowcreature out of a pit on the Sabbath day?” “I should say so, especially if he is trying to get out himself.” “Lawful to hitch up your horse to pull him out?” “Yes," laughed the minister. “Well, you go home and get your lunch and I’ll get mine and have Major put into the buggy. I’ll be around here before 1 o’clock, and we’ll see what we can do.” “All right.” It was not long before the good white horse came at a week-day pace to the door of the parsonage, and the friends were soon whirling away. “Now, we’ve got to be swift,” said the banker. “My first thought was to call only on some of our own people, but I am now inclined to give some of the rest a chance. The Episcopalians and the Free Baptists have a heavy debt of their own, and the Adventists are not able to help much. We must enlist the others. Brinsmade must call on the, First Church folks, Ellsworth on the Baptists, Thompson on the Universalists, and you and I will look out for our own. * They were stopping at Mr. Brinsmade’s door,, and the master of the house answered the bell. “We have set out,” said Mr. Franklin, “to give the Methodists a little lift in paying their church debt. Will you go and stand in the vestibule of your church and waylay as many as youyan of your strongest men, as they go into the afternoon service, and get subscrjp: tions from them? Start the paper yourself. Then ask Mr. Phelps to take up a collection before-the sermon for the same object. Get cash subscriptions, payable to-morrow at my bank. Report the amount to me at Mr. Strong’s house by 4 o’clock, sharps* Will you do it?” “What a steamboat you are!” said .Brinsmade, laughing. . •Will you do it?” said' Fr&nklin,'

strenuously. “No time for nonsense, old fellow.” •Yes, PH do it.” “All right. Good-by I” And the white horse was soon flying down the street. None of the other churches had afternoon services, and all that 6 could be done in them must be done by personal application to a few of the most prosEerottsr members. But Mr. Franklin ad selected the right man as canvasser in each society, and after they had lieen. Sat at work he and his pastor returned to their own parish, which they divided between them, contfriving before 4 o’clock to see a good proportion of its most generous members. At that hour they all met at the parsonage, as by agreement, bringing with them a much-larger sum than the most sanguine of them had hoped to get. “They came down handsomely,” said Brinsmade. “Three or four refused to give anything, but most of them had their names down before they knew it. It dropped on them so sudden-like that they hadn’t time to hunt up excuses. The old doctor warmed up to the business beautifully, and begged like a professional Didn’t suppose it was in him. They brought in nearly S4OO in the boxes, beside all I got from indi.viduals.” The others had much the same story to tell. Sympathy with the Methodists in their courageous efforts was universal, and it had found a generous expression. “Now each of you sit down and write a short letter," said Franklin, “explaining that the amount you have collected is from friends in your church, naming the amount and stating where it may be called for to-morrow, and we’ll go over at once and send the letters up to Brother Thorpe. I trust he is holding out yet, but it must be pretty tough for a man who doesn’t believe in the perseverance of the saints to hang on to such a poor promise.” It was about half-past 4 when Mr. Franklin and his friends entered the Methodist Church. The back seats were all occupied, so they stood in the space behind the pews and looked on. The church was pretty well filled, and Mr. Thorpe was still keeping up a lively fire of appeal and argument, but there were no responses, and it was plain that hope had departed from most of the solicitors. “Will you walk forward .and take seats,, gentlemen ?” said one of them. “No, thank you,” said Franklin, “we are only lobby members. HoW do you get on ?” “Slowly.” * - And the solicitor shook his head dolefully.” ’ “Ho'w'much-ha.ve you got?” ' “Only a little over twenty-five thou- * ♦’Si, y° U w here you “Then we lose everything. The

greater £hare of thp, .heavy subscriptions- aracbnditionar upon tlto Raising of the whole debt.” “ yotrn subscribers make them , unepndiCional?*' j ‘ 4 '’ i• We’ve*•begged'/- them to-but fbero^bsttpate.’^„ i ; o i' ' j Pity, isn t it? . * “Yes sir. It will* be a hard bltpv - ' if , welaUnfiw,” , The discouraged•gentleman walked away,-, t ,(, .. u ., t ‘f»j> it’.i Mr. Franklin’s .air had been so indifferent that he had not ventured to ©sk him for anyMng^,..... “Send up letter, Brinsmade,” whispered Franklin, “Get that-small boy to take it up.” The small boy toddled up the aisle and handed the envelope to th# paSflfof. Mr. Thorpe tore it open eagerly. ’* ' ’ “Hallelujah shouted the listen to Mns? Church of to we a at 12 o’cßrck pbw3to^O|f|di^higsFi r st on Rl|a Wurcfflftgfctogf Am. Brinsmade.” M The flkdiiwZmSV enei v was fqHmral h all thwwiaT gn. the mjffiak? of up thl"4JWl l * <1- sang w'’vdth “ Wail Brlther Brinsmade come far-" scouted MrT? Thorpes'. befdre he fiad time to ifisist on ‘this a little girl was mounting the pulpit with another envelope, which the pastor received. with trembling hands. This letter started that $515, the gift of a few friends in the Uniyersalist Church, would be on deposit -the next day, at the same hour and place. Over this the furore was redoubled, one enthusiastic brother mounting a seat, and calling for “the second verse of the Doxology.” , “Better not protract the agony, ” said Franklin to Ellsworth. “Let us send up our notes together.” The minister, who had now for six hours been under a continuous nervous strain, in whose heart confidence had given way to anxiety, and anxiety was beginning to change to discouragement, was so completely overcome by the contents of the other two envelopes that he sat down in his chair and could not speak for a moment; but at length he arose and half sobbed out: “Two more, brethren. One from friends in the Baptist Church, with a pledge of $925, and one from friends in the Second Congregational Church, with a promise of $l,BlO. God bless them, every one!” This time they were too excited to sing r but there was a volley of amens in response to the last ejaculation, and men and women all over the house were laughing and crying like children. “Give us the footing now, Brother Harrison,” sgdd the niinister at length to the Treasurer, who was' keeping ac- . count of the subscriptions. “Thirty thousand, one hundred and fifty-five dollars,” was th© answer. 4 j“Less than $2,000 more are wanted,” said Mr. Thorpe. “What do you say to thaff” ’ “Two hundred dollars more for me!” was the Response from oue.pf the heav-’ iest of the subscribers; and then the supplementary subscriptions, large and .small, came pouring in for ten minutes faster than the Treasurer ceuld record

them. As soon as there was a short pause he summed up the amount again, and rising to Ims feet, quietly mid: “Thirty-two thousand, four hundred and sixty dollars—s46o for shrinkage!” , The scene that followed can only be . imagined by those who know what an inoubus a church debt is to a devoted congregation, and who are familiar with the ways in which Methodists are wont to express their feelings. “I preceive,” said Mr. Thorpe, rising to his feet, after the tempest had subsided, “that all these pledges are to be paid to-mqrrow, at noon, at the First National Bank. It is easy to guess who jaaAtbe bottom °I ness, jmd I see him now, ntaiHmfr near thedjpir." ' “No scenes forme,” whispered the banker to his ministeu, ~“Bm going. Make toy excuses.” . And he. slipped out- of wie door and walkedSfjuickly awayX-’ “WaSwer Franklinfit teaman,” continued the parson, “and he is leaving the house this moment. Will some one bring him back ?” But that was a vain suggestion. Mr. Franklin, as everybody knew, would not be brought back. “Mr. Franklin’s pastor must answer for him then,said the minister; and Mr. Strong walked up the aisle amid great cheering. In a few graceful words he told the congregation that Mr. Thorpe was right in his conjecture; that the plan of aiding them in their difficult undertaking was conceived and set in motion by Mr. Franklin, who had, nevertheless, been supported in the heartiest manner by the gentlemen on whom he had called; that the whole scheme was the inspiration of a moment, and the fruit of a few hours’ work; and that he trusted that the result of it would be, not only the emancipation of the Methodist Church from the bondage of debt, but the strengthening of the bonds of fellowship among tire churches of New Albion. To that wish there werejnany fervent responses, and after a prayer of thanksgiving by the pastor and singing of “Blest be the Tie that Binds,” the congregation broke up. The day will never be forgotten by any who had part in its doings, and the fruit of the seed then sowed will be reaped in the increasing charity* of many generations. — The Century.

Women as Indian Fighters.

Dr. Edward Eggleston,in a historical paper in the Century, on thb “Indian War in the of the heroism of the wives of the : “The women of those timea.developed a readiness and cousAjjfe fjw that of the lueu. Thq Sw|fcß»h'; Ufiar the boiling soapMWre warn- d that the Indians were soap and all; m fW’forraled church, blew the conch-shell horns to alarm the men, and when the Indians tried to unmin'e the building ladled the scalding strap upon them, and so savedthem-, sHves from destruction until’ bands arriv. d. The ren juTtelftwlnah Brrtdley, of Haverhill, in ABSeachii* sgtts, who had F s §ftßre 6f captivities and adventures, killed an Indian who was rushing into the open gatd of her husband’s garrison, by throwing boiling soap upon him; and when the savages came to captajre her a third time, sh> savetl herself W| shooting the ; foxeyo^t. the battle in defense ojp was«l|d|ded by the promp|neffi» of the women, who loaded with BmaJ swt Acambon that had jlint awpved from Boston and conyeyed it W the defenders; these discharged it to the dismay and rout of the saysges. A story is told of a maidin Dorchester who defeated an Infl: mi single-handed by the . use of a cet and and a shoveful of live coals, ung girl in Maine shut a. door and hWc it, and thirteen women and childbed ;ime to reach a block-house, while tlw Indians were Chopping down the dobi and knocking down, though they did lot kill, its defender. Twelve years afte Bickford’s ingenious defense <# his : iouse at Oyster river, some women at the pame place imitated it. There being no toen in the garrison, they fired an alartn, loosened their hair to appear like men, and used their guns so briskly that tine savages fled. In 1712, Esther Jones saved Heard’s garrison, in the township of Dover, in New Hatopshire, by mounting guard and calling so loudly and confidently as to make the Indians believe that help was at hand. The stalwart Experience Bogarth, of Dunkard’s Creek, in Pennsylvania, in a hand-to-hand fight in a doorway, in which two white men were killed, slew three Indians with an ax.”

The Nail City.

Wheeling is one of the most extensive manufacturing points on the Ohio, and in point of nail products it takes the lead of all the other places. I presrftne not less than 40,000,000,000 nails are made here every year and they are shipped all over the world. Wheeling is known as the nail city. Its factories and mills and furnaces and glass houses employ thousands of people, and here as plainly as can be found elsewhere in the country is shown the disastrous result of that turning point in the conflict between labor and captal, the “strike.” When strikes occur they bring a Sunday calm, and all kinds of business rest until work resumes. It is from these factories that the smoke and sulphur come. They use soft coal without smoke consumers, and clouds of the black stuff settle over the placfe until everything is darkened, and the sulphur kills the grass and she flowers. Yet the smoke is business, and every bucket full represents so much money; and, as money is what man worships, I don’t know that it is such a bad thing to have one’s idol always before and behind, above and below him, and permeating every recess of his abiding place.— “ Mary Jane" in Courter-Journal. . v 'The English mails ifej-e first conveyed by railway in 1830. ~ Nine years later the letters three to each person, and at the present time the average has risen to tnirty-aix. The Fbstpffice Savings Banks last year had nearly 5,.000,000 depositors, whose deposits reached the sum of about $195,-

OBESITY.

A Chapter for Fat People. [From Harper’s Baxar.J The disadvantages of obesity are numerous, its dangers to both health ind life not a few. One of the veryleast of the former is the difficulty a fat person has in getting about, and in taking that amount of exercise without which the body cannot long be maintained in the only state which can with propriety be called condition. Exercise alone will not reduce a man’s weight, though people usually believe so, but exercise will retard the accumulation of fat. Adipose tissue is, to those inclingd|o depositfld not only under the skin—it would bs'..well, indeed, if this were all —but in the spaces between the varyys muscles of the limbs, all around fee heart and fee kidneys, and in Why other vital positions that need ndtbe named. The accumulation of fat on and around the muscles naturally prevents activity of motion; but it does more and worse, for it throws a serious obstacle in fee way of those muscles’ receiving a due amount of nutrition; they are therefore weakened and rendered flabby. And here let me point out a fact to those of my readers who may meditate treating themselves for fee reduction of obesity. You may sometimes hear an expression like fee following from a stout man in the prime life: “If I could get rid of some twenty or twenty-five pounds of ‘ flesh’ ” —such people will persist in calling it flesh — •‘what would I do!” “Yes, my friend,” I should reply, “and pray what could you do? For if you were to get rid of nearly all the fat that is on you to-mor-row or the day after, you would not be able to walk twice the length of your own garden for cold and fatigue. Your muscles are attenuated and flabby, and if deprived suddenly of their cushions of fat they would be of very little use indeed. That really is the truth, whether you like it or not.” The deposition of fat around the kidneys or on the heart comes in time to interfere very seriously with the functions of those organs, and to engender diseases which ultimately lead to dropsy of a fatal character. If the heart is prevented from acting as it ought to, the health cannot be long maintained. If it be a flabby heart the blood will be impoverished, the person will have a sallow look, and be more or. less bloated in appearance. If the heart is enlarged or hypertrophied, we may expect Ujfich difficulty in breathing', especially- if fee patient attempts quick walking or hurried' climbing of 'stairs, perhaps frequent attacks of palpi*%snfwife now aad thenjßwiihming in IWfeW, “*** HiaiathM stfMalling, posited on the heart, but among its muscles, causing degeneration of , the walls of that organ, rendering the sufferer quite unfit for any of the moreactive pf life. of dat peophgjs yyyrihujynukterfered with; iu’deefOne might.say it fejgpJdom or4^retQ|jigP , ed feeling of comfort. Nor, on The other hand, is the digestion strong, nor the appetite either, unless excited by hot sauces or vinous stimulants. t If we glance for a moment or two at fie most common causes of corpulency e shall, I thing, get hints as to the but; even if it be, that jfeasoivre- 1 member, that it should not., be kept within due bonds. too easy igind and a sanguine manner of looking«t the every-day personal occurrences of life, is a cause over which one has little, if any control. Success in life is wished for devoutly by all, but it often has the effect of rendering people who are constitutionally inclined to be so, very corpulent. Well, people cannot be expected to manufacture small worries for themselves in order to keep within due bounds corporeally, but they can avoid fee pleasures of the Table, Jiowever well off in the world Inly Jtoay be. Indulgence in beer, AtouWand in wine and spirits has a Yen dene/to increase the amount of fat; so has the use of sugae, which experiments seem to prove is often turned into fat in the system, and even drinking too much water. Age has something to do with the acumulation of fat, men generally giving evidence of this condition of body between 30 and 40, and (women between 40 and 50, if not [before. If we consider obesity a disease—and if it be not actually so, it is at least a very distressing state of body—then we ought to be able to find out some scheme- for its general treatment. And here the question naturally arises, is it safe for a stout person to use means to reduce his svstem? As a rule it is, provided no extra harsh measures are adopted for that purpose. The danger in diminishing the quantity of fat in and on the body is trifling if it be gradually accomplished. The person about to undergo the process of reduction should be carefully weighed every week and the weight noted, being particular to wear exactly the same amount of clothes each time,. Some of fee bitter tonics may be at the same time used wife advantage so long as they do not constipate, because, while reducing fat, our object is to brace and tone muscle and nerve. Plenty of exercise should at the same time be taken in fee open air, but this should not be carried to the verge of fatigue. Over-indulgence in bed should be avoided, and the use of the tepid or cold sea-salt bath will be found to do much good, so, too, will an occasional Turkish bath; buton this point one’s own medical adviser should be consulted. I have no hesitation in saying that perseverance in this plan of treatment will work wonders.

Postoffice Red Tape.

When a citizen of SauH Ste. Marie, Mich., wishes to send a letter to a friend in the opposite village on the Canadian side of the river, he directs it, prepays the postage, and pnts it in the poetoffice on the American side; then, in order to reach the postoffice on the Canadian side, which is about one mile distant, the letter goes to Detroit through the United States mails, crosses from Detroit to Windsor, where *t enters the Canadian mails, and

over Canadian routes back to fee Sault, reaching fee Canadian office there in about ten days from the time it started —ten days to go one mile. But when one is in a hurry he goes across fee river himself and talks to fee other fellow; he doesn’t write.

The Alligator Fever.

It beats all how a Northern man does hanker to shoot an alligator just as soon as he gets beyond fee Ohio rive* and the further South he goes fee stronger grows the feeling. It’s a sort of “buck fever,” and nothing will cure it except the gore of the reptile. A chap from Rhode Island went down tb Biloxi from New Orleans with the party. Small alligators were plenty enough along fee creeks and ditches, and every time the Clam State man saw one he almost kicked his boots off.' He tackled everyfbody around Biloxi for an alligator hunt, and he finally paid a darky $3 todrive him to a lake four or five miles away, where the saurians were said- to be numerous enough to crowd each other out of water. The boys had been over in the morning and fixed things. A rope was tied to either end of a wa-ter-soaked log and led into the bushes, and no sooner had fee hunter gone down and discovered a movement in fee water than he opened fire. “Dat’s yer game, boss," said the darky, as he seated himself in the shade, and the way that old log was bombarded was a caution. The man made eye shots and line shots and dead shots, and after he had fired cbout twenty-five times he began to wonder why his game didn’t turn toes up. “Takes a heap o’ lead, boss, but you is trubblin’ him mighty bad, ” encouraged the darky, and the bombardment was renewed with a determination to die in the last ditch. Pretty soon a man broke from the bushes to the left, and in a voice of authority called out: “Shooting alligators out of season is an offense punished by a fine of not less than $10.” “N-o-a!” “How many shots have you fired?” “Only thirty-nine.” “Shooting off a revolver in the State of Mississippi, except in self-defense, is a fine of $5 for each time! Have you a permit?” “Permit for what?” “To shoot at Col. Ford’s alligators. If not he can recover damages not to exceed SSOO. Did you cross that field?” “Yes.” t “That’s trespass, and the fine is not less than $25. You must come with me!” “But, sir—l—” “I will bring up my horse and buggy and you must go the county seat!” The “constable” started. So did Rhode Island. They went in opposite directions. The Rhode Islander came into Biloxi on a canter, settled his hotel bill without stopping to cdnttt' the change,' and. picking up his satchel he dusted off along the railroad track as if called to a death-bed. When I fqpnd him in Mobile a few days later he had shaved of his whiskers and black-“ ened his eye-brows. He also com-' plained of a lame back and corns on his feet. ; “say!” says he, as he carefully looked around for listeners, “If old Missis 1 sippi feels so stuck up over a few ponds alligators and , constables she can *Kteep ’em and be hanged to her! I’d Hither shoot a crow any time than an [alligator'!"— Detroit Free Press.

Sanitary Value of Foliage.

Prof. Goret, of fee University of Geneva, poiqts out feat fee functions-of trees in streets are not limited to acting as screens tor sun-shnnnipg wayfarers.. They temper the heat and serve fesi a protection against dust; the evaporation frorp . their leaves tends - to keep the surronndiug arp, cool apd moist, and, as one of the best means of refreshing the air Of a sick-room is toplace in ft plants and: branches, and sprinkle them with water, a like effect is produced by trees. Sun-light ’ is necessary to health; but trees, if not too thickly planted, do not intercept sunlight,—the continual vibration of their leaves and swaying of their branches admitting fee light every instant and in sufficient measure, serving, moreover, io protect fee eyes fromfee noonday glare. So far from trees impeding the circulation of air* they help to purify it; the evaporation from their leaves determines a current from above, and fee fresh air thus brought down assists in driving away the heated and dust-impregnated gases of the streets. Another useful property of foliage is that, while in hot, dry weather it moistens the surrounding atmosphere, thus rendering it fitter to breathe, this effect, which is due to evaporation, ceases .in wet weather.

“Bread and Cheese and Kisses.”

“But what do you suppose we are going to live on ?” inquired a young lady of her slightly impecunious lover after the first shock of his proposal had somewhat worn off. ‘‘Live on!” said fee enthusiastic and visionary youth, “why, darling, we will live on bread and cheese and kisses.” “ Yes; well, it may be all right enough, but it’s my opinion feat bread and cheese, wife thin slices of kisses in between ’em, are mighty light sandwiches for a steady diet. You’ll have to talk roast beef-beef and strawberry shortcake to me.”— Texas Siftings.

A Bug’s Idea.

After describing the repeated failures of a tumble-bug to get his ball out of a rut, the Indianapolis News adds: “Finally he plowed out a space, like a sort of a railroad cut, with a smaller slope than the buggy track, and pushed his ball triumphantly out through it. Was that reason? It was exactly the course an engineer would take. It was exactly the course taken to raise the great winged bulls of Nineveh. Has a tumble-bug got a mind?* > You can hear the whistle of a looomoiive 3,300 yards, the noise of a train 2,800 yards, the report of a musket and the bark of a dog 1,800 yards, the roll of a drum 1,600 yards, the croak of a frog 900 yards, and a cricket’s chirp 8(X) yards. The man who stumbles twice on the same stone is a fool,

HUMOR.

[Burltngtm Hawkeye.) Some of fee farms in Ireland are strips of land only ten feet wide. That is twice as big a farm as seme men we know would if it. were given to them. A NEW novel is entitled “A Foolish Virgin." Probably she didn’t find otft until she tried it 1 that it is fee usual thing for a freckles •lotion to take fee skin along wth the freckles. , -• ~ Cheap Italian labor has run the price •of “shines” down to 3 cents. A 3-eent-shine, however, is .merely a run across 'fee toes, leaving the heels as red as sunset. Like a schdol boy’s boots on exhibition day. A man in Massachusetts was sent to reform school for breaking windows and stealing apples when he was 9 years old; then he stole a dog and went to prison when he was 11; he got out in time to set fire te a house and got two years sentence before he was 16; and picked a pocket and got run in on his 19th birthday. Before he was old enough to vote he received a sentence, and since then he has served three terms in as many prisons. It is time he quit this restless, wandering life, and found some good, quiet prison feat suited him, where he could settle down and stay. [Carl Pretzel’s Weekly.) A tight place—The bar. ’ *= A type-righter—The proof reader. Woman was maid, but man never was. Without ladies the United States would be stagnation. With dudes pumpkin blossoms ought to be a taking posey, that is, if affinity counts for anything with them. “I used to be bothered awfully with rats,” said Mrs. McGill, “but I used some corroded supplement and got rid of ’em. ” An exchange speaks of fee “tragic end of a man in jail.” If not out of place, we should like to inquire why they did not put him all in jail, ana what the general effect is when they shut the door. The Globe Democrat recently contained a half-column article upon ’* How it feels to be insane.” If a disease breaks out among the American peoplo to tell how much things strike them, every paper in the land has all it can do for fee next century. A duel is an affair of honor, settled with weapons. A prize-fight is an affair of science, settled with fists. A fracas is an affair of main strength, usually settled with whatever, comes handy. abifleth these three, but the greatest of these is the fracas. -fCbioaßO Cheek.] Preachers say croquet is.a‘wicket game. The proofreader does much -toward . lighting ‘ When a woman slams a door with force that’s On dark nights ,men .usually sigh for fee light of hther ‘days. Men never .-s one another, but they long r.fee The less woman has more comfortable, she is. - , A physician always knows where io find his patients when he loses them. It ain’t 1 every paper that can afford a funny mafi, but they all have a grapher two. A. j?ickpq,qket stole a watch right off ita ofeef ttay.‘*‘We*trdkt fed next fene'”will -be Ors fts guard Against »uqh adeidfcnfe ; The Town Council of New Haven has aslepaed ’a. tax4>fs3 against! mefi. - for 'swea^ng- i - , L^We put up on fee women to avoid putting up stoves.

'The Worhps Population.

The latest* ' 6nfian' e scientists of "thS th tai populMion of our earth are in round numbers as follows: / ; ? bool -ihAb. Africa 5.M,.. h .St®® 'Europe is the most densely populated of the continental Asia* contains .more than one-half of the inhabitants of the globe. As long as there is evidently room for untold millions of people, there need be no fear df ov6r-bopula» tion. According to their religious creeds, the above 1,443,000,000 may be classified thus: 212,000,000 Catholics, 124,000,000 Protestant#, 84,000,000 Schismatics, 7,000,000 Israelites, 800,000,000 Mohanfmedans, 163,000,000 Brahmins, 423,000,000 Buddhists and 230,000,000 Pagans. The number o| Christians aggregate, therefore, 420,000,000, the worshipers of one God are less than one-half of the inhabitants of the earth, and 828,000,000 are given to idolatry.

Learning to Spell.

Not all the bright answers are given by grown-up people, by any means. Here is an illustration cd the fact, taken from an exchange.* Arthur is a bright little fellow, just beginning his education. A short time since, in the presence of visitors, he came running to his uncle, exclaiming,. “Oh, uncle, I can spell sunt* “Very well, let us hear,” answered the uncle. , “S-u-n, sun.” i “That is right. Now let us hear you spell another kind of son.* i Arthur’s face wore a puzzled expression for a time, but soon brightened with an inspiration, as he sang out, “M-u-n, moon.” ’ This was greeted with applauding laughter. The uncle then said, “Are you not your papa’s son?* : .“Yes, sir.” j; “Very well, spell that kind of a son.* “M-e, me,” triumphantly shouthed' the little chap, to the confusion of his uncle, and the glee of the others. In the State of Mississippi only 1,236 women said their ages were 31, while no less than 10,619 declared they were just 30. • 1 1 Boston is next to New York in the number of its banks and amount of capital. .