Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 August 1883 — THE BAD BOY. [ARTICLE]

THE BAD BOY.

“Hello," said the grocery man to the bad boj, as he came in looking sick at heart, and all broke up, “How is your muscle this morning?" “All right enough," said the boy with a look of inquiry, as though wondering what was coming next. “Why?" “Oh, nothing, only I was going to grind the hatchet, and some knives and things, this morning, and 1 thought maybe you would like to go out in the shed and turn the grindstone for me, to develop your muscles. Turning a grindstone is the healthiest thing a boy can do.” “That is all right enough,’ said the bad boy, as he took up a sweet cracker, a but please take a good look at me. Do I look like a grind-stone boy ? Do I resemble a good little boy that can't say ‘no/and goes off and turns a grindstone half a day for some old duffer, who pays him by giving him a handful at green currants, or telling him he will be a man some day, and the boy goes off one way, with a fame back, while the good man goes the other way, with a sharp scythe, and a chuckle at the softness of the boy? You are mistaken in me. I have passed the grindstone period, and you will have to pick up another sardine who has never done oircnlar work. Not any grindstone for Hennery, if you please.” “You are getting too smart, ” said the grocery man, as he charged a pound of sweet crackers to the boy’s father. “You don't have to tarn the grindstone if you don’t want to.” “That’s what I thought,* says the boy; as he takes a handful of blueberries. “You grindstone sharps, who are always laying for a fool boy to give taffy to, and get him to break his back, don’t play it fine enough. You bear on too hard on the grindstone. I have seen the time when a man could get me to turn a grindstone for him till the cows come home, by making me be-, lieve it was fun, and by telling me he never saw a boy that seemed to throw so much soul into grindstone as I did, but I have found that such men are hypocrites. They inveigle a boy into their nest, like the spider does the fly, and at first they doh’t bear on hard, bnt just let tile blade of the ax or Bcythe touch the grindstone, and they make a boy believe he is a bigger man than old Grant. They bet him he will get tired, and he bets that he can turn a grindstone as long as anybody, and when the boy has got his repntation at stake, than they begin to bear on hard, and the boy gets tired, but he holds ont, and when the tools are ground he says he is as fresh as a daisy, when he is tired enough to die. Such men do more to teach boys the hollowness of the world and its tricky features, than anything, and they teach boys to know who are friends and who are foes. No, sir, the best way is to hire a grown person to turn your grindstone. I remember I turned a grindstone four hours for a farmer once, and when I got through he said I could go to the spring and drink all the water I wanted for nothing. He was the tightest man I ever saw. Why, tight! That man was tight enough to hold kerosene.” “Thait’s all right. Who wanted you to turn grindstone, anyway? But what is it about your pa and ma being turned out of the church ? I hear that they scandalized themselves horribly last Sunday.”

“Well, you see, me and my chum put up a job on pa to make him think Sunday was only Saturday and ma she fell into it and 1 guess we are all going to get fired from the church for working on Sunday. You see they didn’t go to meetin’ last Sunday because ma’s new bonnet hadn’t come, and Monday and Tuesday it rained, and the rest of the week was so muddy no one called, or they could not get anywhere, so Monday I slid out early and got the daily paper, and on Tuesday my chum he got the paper off the steps and put Monday’s paper in its place. I watched when they were reading it, but they did not notice the date. Thpn Wednesday we put Tuesday’s paper ou the steps and pa said that it seemed more than Tuesday, but ma she got the paper of the day before and looked at the date and said it seemed so to her but she guessed they had lost a day somehow. Thursday we got Wednesday’s paper on the steps, and Friday we rung in Thursday’s paper, and Saturday my chum he got Friday’s paper on the steps, and ma said she guessed she would wash to-morrow, and pa said he believed he would hoe in the garden and get the weeds out so it would look better, to folks when they went by Sunday to church. Well, Sunday morning came, and with it Saturday's daily paper, and pa barely glanced it over as he got on his overalls and went out in his shirt sleeves a hoeing in the front garden. And I and my chum helped ma carry water to wash. She said it seemed like the longest week she ever saw, but when we brought the water, and took a plate of pickles to the hired girl that was down with the mumps, we . got in the lilao bushes and waited for the curtain to rise. It wasn’t long before folks began going to churoh and you’d a dide laughing to see them all stop in front of where ma was washing and look at her, and then go on to vthere pa was hoeing weeds andktop and look at him, and then drive on. After about a dozen teams had passed I heard ma ask pa if he knew who was dead, as there must be a funeral somewhere. Pa had jost hoed into a bumble-bee’s nest, and said he did not know of any that was dead, .bnt knew some that ought to be, and ma she did not ask any foolish questions any more. After about twenty teams had stopped, ma she got nervous and asked Deacon Smith if he saw anything green; he said something about desecration and drove away. Deacon Brown asked pa if be did no.t think he was setting a bad example before his boy, bnt pa said he thought it would be a good one if the boy could only be hired to do it. Finally ma got mad and took the tub behind the house where they could not see her. About 4 o’clock that afternoon we saw a dozen of onr congregation headed by the minuter file into onr yard, and my chum and I knew it was time to fly, so we got on the back steps where we could hear. Pa met them at the door, expecting some bad news,

and when they were seated, ma she came in and remarked it was a vary unhealthy year, and it stood people in hand to meet their latter end. None of them said a word until the elder put on his specs and said it was a solemn occasion, and ma she turned pale and wondered who it could be, and pa says, ‘Don’t keep us in suspense; who is dead?’ and the elder said no one was dead, but they called as a duty they owed the cause to take action on them for working on Sunday. Ma she fainted away and they threw a pitoher of water down her back, and pa said he guessed they were a pack of lunatics, but they all swore it was Sunday and they saw ma washing and pa out hoeing as they went to church, and they had called to take action on them. Then there was a few minutes low conversation I could not catch, and then we heard pa kick his chair over and say it was more tricks of that darned boy, then we knew it was time to adjourn, and I was just getting through the back fenoe as pa reached me with a barrel stave, and that’s what makes me limp some.” “That was real mean in you boys,” said the grooery man. “It will be hard for your pa and ma to explain that matter. Just think how bad they must feeL* “Oh, I don’t know. I remember hearing pa and Uncle*Ezra telling how they fooled their father once, and got him to go to mill-with a grist on Sunday, and pa said he would defy anybody to fool him on the day of the week. I don’t think a man onght to tempt his little boy by defying him to fool his father. Well, I’ll take a glass of your 50-cent cider and go,” and the boy took a glass of cider and went out, and soon the grocery man looked out the window and found that somebody had added a cypher to the “ Sweet cider, only 5 cents a glass,” making it an expensive drink, considering it was made of sour apples. — Peck’s Sun.