Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 August 1883 — Page 8

PITH AND POINT.

A boarding-house keeperXtreo—’'rahl Barrels were first made in the cooper Vg®- . 4 A bob and lyin’ catches the biggest fish of the season. “ Dabbing, this potato is only hall done.” “ Then eat the other hall, love.” People talk of a visit to the saltjiea for the purpose of getting a little flesh air. When the river rises one foot what becomes of the other? It remains tide, of course. When the Arab has stolen everything else in sight he quietly folds his tent and steals away. “When a man threatens to give you a piece of his mind he wishes to destroy the peace of yours. When a young man is alone,with his best girl he is generally supposed to be “holding his own.” By a mother-in-law—“ You can deceive your guileless little wife, young man, but her father’s wife —never.” The author of the “Bit tie Brown Jug” was probably in a jugular vein, when he wrote that sometime popular ditty. A bridge over a stream in Missouri bean this legend : “ Drive over as fast as yon want to, and be dnmed I ” Everybody, therefore, drives at a walk. A Texas young man shot himself because a young lady refused to dance with him, Di his blind rage he probably mistook himself for a rival. The “utterly utter” kind of talk has infected the street gamins, one of whom, after picking up a more that usually fragrant cigar-stump, exclaimed to his friend: “Jack, this is quite too positively bully.” “ Tommy,” said a mother to her 7-year-old boy, “ you must not interrupt me when lam talking with ladies. Ton must,wait until we stop, and then yon can talk.” “ But you never stop,” retorted the boy. Pride’s fall: “Yes,” said Clara, “your Maltese cat is pretty enougfobut be can never come up to my bird.” That was all she knew about it. That kitty did come up to her bird that very day, and it was all day with the bird. “Father, did you ever have another wife beside mother ? ” " No, my boy; what possessed you to ask such a question ? ” “ Because I saw in the old family Bible where you married Anno Domini in 1835, and that isn’t mother, for ner name was Sally Smith.” A Cambridge youth wrote the following in a young lady’s autograph album : “In the chain of friendship regard me as a missing link : ” and after signing his name he added underneath by way of postscript: “But do noi mistake tiie for Darwins missing one 1 ” “ Lay off your overcoat or yop won’t feel it when you go out,” said the landlord of a Western inn to a guest who was sitting by the fire. “ That’s what I’m afraid of,” returned tho man. The last time I was here I laid off my overcoat. I didn’t feel it when I went out, and I haven’t felt it since.” “ Charlie, have you got a hooked nose?” “Yes, thirling,” answered Charlie, smiling, “Tm afraid it is a little liable to that criticism.” “ Well, I never should have noticed it,” she added, indignantly, “if that horrid Spriggs girl across the way hadn’t told me to ask you if you wouldn’t like to sell it for a syphon.” When little Minnie was 2 years old she asked for some water one night. When it was brought she said, «pa, can’t you get me some fresh water? This tastes a little withered.” Har little sister Belle had been acustomed to a light in the room, and waked in great distress, crying, “Me can't see, Aunt Jessie; my eyes are all blowed eat.” At a juvenile jartar a young geutiemaa about 7 years old kept himself from the rest of the company. The lady of the house called to him: “Come and plav and dance, my dear. Choose one of those pretty girls for your wife.” “Not much 1” cried the young cynic. * “No wife far me! Do you think I want to be worried opt of my life, like papa ?” He read in a newspaper paragraph the statement that “ The child is father to the man,” and straightway went and asked his mother if that was true? “Yes, my sou, she answered, “it may seem a little strange to you, but it’s true.” “ Well, mamma,” responded the inquisitive youth, “ why is it if I’m papa’s father that he always licks me and I never lick him ? ” The minister’s man of a certain preacher followed him up one day to close the pulpit door as usual. There was something wrong with the look, and the door would not “sneok.” John, losing his patience, said, “ I think the devil’s in the pulpit.’ Just at this moment the minister lifted his bowed head, aftl turning seriously am him, said, “ Surely, ye dinna mean me, John ? ” It was his first letter home from boarding-school, and it read as follows : Dear Father—l write you before I write ma becoz I know you like to see ma mad. I think I will get along with my lessons first-rate. The garden here is full of chickens, which makes the walking bad. In history I’ve got as far as Alexander the Great. Be carried a sword to cut knots with. There is an apple orchard half a mfle off. The boys play ball in it; after that there ain’t much apples. The minister’s son was licked this morning for going a fishing on Sunday. He caught lots of fish, and says he is going again next Sunday. I think I like the minister’s boy a good desk Sdhd me some marbles as soon as you oan, also * jack-knife and a top. Two of us boys left a piece of wet soap at the head of the stairs just before daybreak, and by the time the cook got to the bottom she was too sick to get breakfail. We have cpeysssmg’lar everyday, j and the teaohefr|aaii out of the Bible, but I don’t think it’s so bully as playing tagin a hay Mi From your affectionate son, Samuel. —Brooklyn Eagle. At fashionable weddings in England a youthful relative of the bride beau her tram. He is fimcifully dressed in the style of the era Venetian or Charles opened,

A Canary Bird.

Ones I was at an inn in England, with other strangers, when a poor man oame and asked leave to exhibit a wonderful canary bird which he had. As it was a rainy day, and we could not go out to walk, we consented to the poor man’s proposal; and he brought his little bird Into the parlor of the inn. The name of the little bird was Jewel. He stood on the forefinger of his master, who said to Mm, “ Now Jewel, I want you to behave well and make no mistakes.” Jewel sloped his head toward his master, as if listening to Mm, and then nodded twice. “Well, then,” said his master, “ let me see if you will keep your word. Give us a tune.” The canary sang. “Faster,” said his master. Jewel sang faster. “Slower,” said his master; and Jewel sang slower. “You do not keep time,” said his owner. • Hereupon Jewel began to beat time with one of his feel I and the rest of the spectators were so delighted that we clapped our hands. “ Can you not thank the gentlemen for their applause ?” asked his master; and Jewel bowed his head most respectfully. His master now gave him a straw gun :J and Jewel went through the martial exercise, handling his gun like a true soldier. “Now let us nave a dance!” said his master; and the oanary went through a danoe with so much glee, skill, and spirit, that we all applauded “Thou*hast done my bidding bravely,” said his master, caressing the bird. “W, then, take a nap, while I shew the company some of my own feats.” Here the little bird went into a counterfeit sleep, and his owner began balancing a pipe and performing other tricks. Our attention was given to him, when a large black cat, who had been lurking in one earner of the room, sprang upon the table, seized the poor oanary bird in his mouth, and jumped out of the window before any one could stop him, although we all rushed to make an attempt. In vain we pursued the oat. The canary bird had been killed by him almoet in an instant. The poor man wept for hie bud, and his grief was sad tenakoUL “Well may I grieve for thee, my poor little thing r said he; “ well may I grieve. More than four rears has thou fed from my hand and drank from ma lip! I owe thee my support, my health, end my happiness. Without time, what will beoome of me V’ We raised a turn of money and gave it to him; but he could not be consoled. He mourned for poor Jewel as if it had been a child. By love the little bird had been taught, and bjr love waa it ■tell and mourned.

Pulic Politeness.

I waa coming np town, and entered the stage in which five elegantly-dressed and fine-looking women were sitting on each •Ms of it They-might be the lady patronesses of aeme society. There waa room tor another person on each side, but not one of those women moved to make room for me, and I rode a mile or more, While these ten women-—I do not . say ladies—declined to give me a seat, as they could have done any momei t - without rising or erqwding.> The l/ost of them were probably mothers. But as the instinct of good mannerfc— ’ sat is, of politeness, which is simply t e law es kindness—was not in the bi -ist of Me of the ten. what is to be exp ctedof their children} They eaawet teueh whet they do not know, and, as they know nothing of politeness, their children will baboon. Going to the omnibus again for a sample of manners, I opened the door to step in, the other day, when a boy took advantage es my holding it open, jumped In and took the only vacant seat, tickled that na got the start of me and gat the seek This was young America 21 oven. The great Athenian philosophy aifcd that demooracy has the foundtttek M the principle that one man is as gVM an another, if not a little better, and stsMy wte* men have insisted that popster Movement tends to destroy reverence let superiors and deference to others, whioh axa essential dements of rainad manners. “In honor preferring one another,* Is the inspired religion of one ## the highest virtues. It payhetthsraAssa is no virtue. And I to ndt say the politest nations are the strongest; ner that it is Impossible to get money, and power, and all that, with the maunem of a pig. The very trait of eharaoter which the “gintleman who pays the rial” exhibits when he puts ids foot into the trough to keep others away while he eats, is the trait of many who succeed in getting much money. But there is a bettor way. And it is the way that has few walking in it, in this day of onrs. »pr« — iA Boston Girl in Chicago. I fed that lam very far from Boston. I realize that lam many miles nearer the line that separates civilization from the land of savages. And into these Western solitudes I have brought a volume of Herbert Spenoer to refresh and cheer my mind. He always fascinates; and the faot of his being still unmarried has something to do with it, for you know there is a halo surrounding the oelibste which marriage utterly destroys. As in most philosophical questions, it is useless to ask why this is so. We oan only observe the working of the phenomena, but not its cause. But truly, of Spencer I never tire. His ideas of tiie higher life are so consoling—the development from an “indefinite, incoherent homogeneity to a definite, coherent heterogeneity.” What oould be truer or more conclusive ? Perhaps the illiterate mind might be staggered by the unusual combination of polysyllables, but we who are cultivated can appreciate the subtle significance of a definite, coherent heterogeneity. His ideas of love, however, are not tinged with romance. Suppose that a 1 man with tender eyes and raven-hued mustache, having seated himself by your side, should tenderly take your hand in his, and then assure in fervent tones that he is oonscious of a molecular change ts» the vesicular nerve matter of his system, whose concomitant is love, andrfJiat you are the external object which has caused the change. Would an ice bath be more dulling? An hysterical woman would certainly lift tm her voice and shriek jhnd. vfio wo utter that Herb rt Spencer MV iiv«B to she age of sixty without

1 WHITE H MM! Easiest to learn. Easiest to operate. So simpleja child can use it. All who use it praise it. It gives universal satisfaction More durable and convenient than any other Machine in the market. KJ”Warranted for Five You will always regret it if you buy any other Machine without first seeiug the White! It has no enemies, excepting business competitors who lose sales on account of it. Sold by *O. B. STEWARD, Corner Washington & Front Streets. Rensselaer. Indiana.

PA ma« A perfect drew "iffBOTO dandruff, restores color and fsb. prevent* b»k!ne». Rf f (14nf(Uk. Wnßflj I 1. mioliinly ffliyUlMßßwTO »ud w nou. GINGER TONSC An Invigorating Medicine that Never I atoxic? ts* This delicious combination of Ginger, Buchu. Mandrake, Stillingia. and many oth--of the best vegetable remedies known, cures a giiaorders of tlie bowels, stomach, liver, kidneys and lungs, k a The Best and Surest Cough Core Ever Used. If you are suffering from Female Complaints, Nervousness, Wakefulness, Rheumatism Vyrpcv- R sia, age or any disease or infirmity, take Barker s [y Ginger Tonic. It will strengthen brain and body " and give you new life and vicar. 100 .DOLEARf» Paid for an \ thing injurious found iu Ginger ;■ Or for a failure to help or cure. r 60c. and $1 it d.»l«r« I»4of. la-r. jW"' : fl Sine. for circular toHiseox 4 0., :** W ... m , ■»” U " '.".HU ■' JAS. A. THOMPSON f•- ; r Watchmaker JEWELER, "Remington, Ind tigfeg -' - Uhl iii 1 MpP VII M , Symptoms are moisture, stinging, itching, swim* night; seems as if pin-worms were crawling sheet the rectnm; the private parts tre often aSeeted. Asm pleasant, economical and positive care, Swath*’*/ OnmrnsT is superior to any article in On market VYV JT AT MA

TV —, f- -s ;’ ’'S- \^ ; <'• '. ■ ■Y : • -' v r’s*#.A iz, -■->■ r ' ,’, ft .’■ ' ' f " Having turned over our stock of HARDWARE to NATHAN V. CLEAVER, And added thereto a large assortment of all kinds of Goods usually kept in a first-class HfIIRIDIWIAIRIEfifiTiOiRIEIII!) We ask for him a liberal share of the trade. MR. CLEAVER intends to make his home here, and we ar satisfied he will, by honest dealing, merit your continued patronage. All Goods will be sold on a small margin of profit, and priced to customers on the Lowest Cash Basis. Give him a call before purchasing. MARION L. SPITLER. THOMPSON <fc BRO. We come to Rensselaer to sell HAKDWARE ! And can assure the people of Jasper and Newton counties that the stock offered for sale by us was, and will be purchased at B O TTOJtr PRICES. We are thus enabled to offer to customers superior bargains in all kinds of Goods usually kept in stock. We keep in our service an honest and skillful Tinner, and are prepared to do all work in that line promptly and on SATISFACTORY TERMS. Call and see us, in Nowels House Block. NATHAN V. CLEAVER. Rensselaer, August 10, 1883. ■ , ■ ' 4 CARRIAGE AND WAGON MANUVAOTOBT. J. P. WARNER. Proprietor--2T, Warner’s Old Stand, Front Street North of Wn a king ton — RENSSELAER I 2ST33J-A.OS3 Having pnrckaseed the establishment of N. Warner, I am j rf*t>ared tumanuUn ture and repair, Carriages, Buggies, Wagons, Wood Work for Agricultrral lir. plements, alt., etc. Satisfaction gvien. All work warranted.'

9 Rensselaer Marble House R. HOWLAND Proprietor. —Dealer In — American and. Italian Marble, MONUMENTS, TABLETS. HlAßSffllS, SLABS, SLATE AND MARBLE MANTLE^, *IJVD VASES % * _ V%n Eensselaer Street, West of Court House. - - r .- A |rpQ ±xi i ««, mu mb, am; mum, a, & J. W. MTVALL’S Btt?«sj 41 Hafcte Livery Teams, with or without Driver; ..... ~ LOl •

THE NEW ■wmmmm RENSSELAER, IND, —* 3 1 JUST OPENED. New and fluelv fttrnlsbod.—Cool and pleasant rooms. Table furnished wirti the best themarket affords. Good Sample Booms on first floor. Free Bus to and from Depot. PHILIP BLUE, Proprietor. Rensselaer, May 11, 1883 ts. T X* It T 9 TXfYITCCX* JLxJLmHIJK. JUvl US^JcLiji J. H. LEAR, Proprietor, Opposite. Court House . Monticello, Ind Has recently been new furnished throngh out. The rooms are large and airy tho loea tion central, making it the most eonve .ien and desirable hopsc in town. Try it. William Smith, House | Bridge Builder, All kinds of shop and scroll work done at Chi cago prices. Shop and residence west of Rlv cr Bridge, Rensselaer, Ind. Nov. 10, ’BB.—ly John W. Medicu*, - Plasterer & Cistern Builder, All kinds of Plain and Ornamental woOk dona ip the latest style. Leave orders at Tharp's nmc Stare. JL. Xu WILLIS, • Gun & Locksmith, (Shop on River bank, south of Sohool House, Rensselaer. Ind.) All kinds of Iron and W«pd turning, and flue wot Bin Iror, Steel and Bras?, on short notice, and at reasonable rates, dive me a call. v5n49 a* ew BLACKSMITH SHOP [South of MeCov a Thompson's Bank.] Rensselaer, Ind. &RANT, Prou’r. THE proprietor having fitted up a new shop are now Tolly prepared to do all kinds of Blecksmithing. at tne lowest price, and in the most workmanlike manner. Farmers, and all others needing anything In ottr line, nre invited t o give na a call. We purpose making HORSE-SHOEING A Specially, And give this branch es the business parflcula attention. All work warranted. GRANT. Meat-Market. [FIRST DOOR EAST OF POST OFFICE,] Rensselaer, - - IndianaFRESH BEEF, PORK, VEAk MUTTON Sansate, Bologna, Hams, Bacon, Etc., so’d i i qiiuntkle* to suit purchasers nt the lowest prices. The very bestot stock slaughtered. i Give me a call. Fish and Poultry kept in season. The blal est market pt ice incaah paid fbr.Csltle, Sheep, Hogs, Calves,lPonltry, Hide#. Sheep Pelts. T*ti»w. etc. vSnar ft. K. W<‘01)8. —— — l —"y"-. PIONEER CMKTj MARKET! ] '(First Door Wsst Jewelry Siorc.) Rensselaer, Ind., J. J. Eiglesbach, Proprietor BEEF, Pork, Yeal Mutton, Sausage, Bologna, etc., sold in quantities to suit purchasers at the lowest, prices. None but the best stock slaughtered. Everydody is invited to call. The Highest Piiic* Paid fob Good Fat Cattle. May 26 18«2 TOBACCO CHEWERS A REWARD Of 5565 CASH, 1,000 Imported Novelty Poriu* Knivee and s,ooopounds of the Greek ZOO-ZOO CHEWINC TOBACCO TO BE GIVEN AWAY! mil. the fi«est"pou«o’nus*Evc« woe. wiggilMgtatgJsgaG ' Schenck’t Adjustable mm aoThstabiT smE repairs’ Sold by all Hardware and Stove Dealer*. Sejto tob Manufactured only by Scheiiek’s Adjustable Fire Back Co., 62 Dearborn Street, Chicago. Weights Indian Vegetable Pats FOE THE LIVER And all Bilious Complaints