Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 July 1883 — The Pleasure Excursion Boat. [ARTICLE]

The Pleasure Excursion Boat.

Why is it called a “pleasure” excursion boat? for the same reason that a theater in this city is called the “Fifth Avenue Theater.” ’ And why is that? Because it is not in Fifth avenue. Oh 1 But how does that apply to the boat? If you were on the boat you might see. There appear to be some people on this boat. There are a few. How many ? About 4,000, darling. Why! but is not that more than the boat is allowed to carry? Evidently not. But a paper in her cabin says she is only allowed 2,000 passengers. Yea, dear. Then the poor Captain is disobeying the law. Somewhat. Will he be punished ? Oh, no. But suppose there should be an accident? There would be trouble. For whom ? For the people on board. But does not the poor Captain know that not half his passengers can swim ? He knows that not one-fourth of them can, but he cannot help it. Are there no life preservers on board ? Oh, yes. How many? About 1,000. Just think how awful it would be if the boat would blow up, sink, tip over or get run into. Yes. Would the poor Captain catch blazes from the Coroner’s jury! No. Why ? There would be no witnesses to show he was to blame. Why, where would the poor passengers be? Drowned. Oh! then all the passengers trust to the poor Captain’s good luck? Yes, they have staked their lives upon it. And this is “pleasure ?” Quite a picnic, my Jove. Are there many such “pleasure” boats running out of New York ? About 100. Who owns them ? That is a secret. But I won’t tell. Are the men who own them philanthropists? Every time. Who are they ? They are a secret corporation. And its name? The “Undertaker’s Co-operative Union. ” — Life.