Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 April 1883 — The Bear and the Ram. [ARTICLE]

The Bear and the Ram.

Little Johnny tells the following story about a bear and a belligerent old rain: “One day the bear he went among a flock of sheep and picked out a nice little lamb, and cot it, and the lamb it said ba-ba-ba, cause it knew it was going for to be et every little tiny bit up. But the bear took it up in his foije poz, like it was a baby, and set it up full length and rockt it and sed: ‘There, there, never mind my precious darlin’, where does it hurt ye? But the lamb kept hollerin louder and louder, cos while the bear was a smilin’ and singin’ a hush-a-boy be was a skaweezin’ titer and titer all the time. Bimo by the old ramb he seen wot was up and he dropt his hed, the old* ram did, and come like he was shot out of a gun and let him have it in the stumack of liis belly, and dubbled him up like he was a razor, and sent him a rollin over and over without his precious darlin’. And when the bear had pulled liisself together again and shrike the dust out of his hair, he scd: ‘I have obserfed that lambs tails was quickem lightnin’, but I didn’t kanow they wos powerfuller, too.’ Just then he see how it was, for there stood the old ramb a hoidin’ down his hed ready for to let him have it agin, and sliakin’ it like he sed: ‘That little shaver wudenir make .more than a moufle for a feller like you." I giess von better serve up the old man.’ ut the bear ho wocked off, sayin: ‘I don’t hanker after a dirjner which goes aginst my stuminack like that.’ ” It Hnrts Just as Badly, Though. It was not many years ago that the best American dictionary defined the familiar word “Boil” as a circumscribed subcutaneous inflammation characterized by a pointed pustular tumor and suppurating in a central core; a perunoutus. What was simple and familiar was made ludicrously complex. In the “Imperial* the same word is disposed of satisfactorily as “an inflamed and painful suppurating tumor.” —New York Tribime. We are never ruined by what we want, but by what we think we want.