Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 April 1883 — Brave Lying. [ARTICLE]

Brave Lying.

“That thunder-shower was one of the worst things of its kind I ever took a hand in.” “Would you replenish your glass and tell us the* details?" asked the heavy man, politely. “It was in the winter of ’40,” said the stranger, stirring his glass reflectively. “I’d heerd there was a good deal o’ walnut timber in them sections, and I was keen to get it. So me and my son took a steamer and went up on the Northern coast, where no white man had ever been before. As soon as we landed we knowed we had struck it rich. Gentlemen, there was millions of acres, all cut and ready for the market.” “Might I inquire who out it ?’’ interrogated the heavy man, solemnly. “You say no white man had ever been there. ” “The polar bears had gnawed it off searching for honey 1” replied the stranger, calmly. “Go on with your thunder-shower.” “Well, as I was telling you, we started right in, and in three weeks we were richer than any eight men in the States. There was no end to the luck. Everything went our way from the start. We had all the logs down on the dock and were only waiting for the boat to come and take us off, when I seen clouds making to north’ard and I knpwed it was going to settle in for thick weather. I told my sou to look out, and in less than half an hour there broke the doggondest storm I ever seed. Rain! Why, gentlemen, it rained so hard into the muzzle of my gun that it busted the denied thing at the breech 1 Yes, sir. And the water began to rise on us, too. Talk about your floods down South! Why, gentlemen, the water rose so rapidly in our house that it flowed up the chimney and streamed 300 feet up in the air! We got it both ways that trip, up and down!” “Do we understand that you are relating facts within the scope of your experience?” demanded the heavy man, with his mouth wide open. “Partially mine and partially my son’s,” answered the unabashed stranger. - “He watched it go up, and I watched it come down! But you can get some idea of how it gained when I tell you that put out a barrel without any heads in it, and it rained into the bunghole of that barrel faster than it could run out at both ends!” “Which of you saw that?” inquired a istener. “We each watched an end, my sc/R and me,” returned the stranger. “I’m telling you about a storm now, gentlemen. But the worst of all was the lightning. It wasn’t in streaks; it just stood still in one flash, and when it got through you should have taken a look at that timber! That timber was chopped into the finest sawdust you ever got your eye on! Fine as snuff! Wasn’t a sflick left half an inch long! You never saw anything like it! There was over $12,000,000,000 gone! We thought we might save the sawdust to mix paints with, and save a couple of million out of the wreck, but while we was thinking that over the wind sprang up, and then there was music! I’ve seen some wind in my time, but no such wind as that ever blowed before or anywhere else! Well, you can get an imperfect notion of how that wind blew when I tell you that it blowed that sawdust fright back into its former .shape, and when that storm passed off there stood them trees just where they stood before the bees got after them!”