Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 March 1883 — How Sam Johnsing Got the Better of the Recorder. [ARTICLE]

How Sam Johnsing Got the Better of the Recorder.

The first case called was that of Sam John sing, who was charged with having beaten his wife. i “If you have paid attention, Mr. Jehnsing,” said the Recorder, toying with a pen, “you are doubtless aware that those nearest and dearest to you, after you have paid your fine, have made it pretty evident that you are a black fiend. ” “Dat’s not de way you talked to me when you wanted me to vote for you,” retorted Sam sulkily. “ Tempora mutantur, etnos mutamur in Ulis.” “Dat ain’t what you tole me. Es vou had tole me dat ar I nebber would nab voted for you in dis world. You tole me dates l voted your ticket you would ebber after regard me in de fight ob a pussonal friend.” “Silence in court. What proof have ypu got that you didn’t inflict those bruises on her person?” “I always heered a married man had de right to correct his wife.” “You hear to much, Mr. Johnsing,” replied the Recorder, who had regained his good humor. “There can be no reasonable objection to you appealing to the more tender susceptibilities of the partner of your joys with the toe of your boot. You may even, on special occasions, as on the Fourth of July or Ash Wednesday, warm her up with a skillet, bounce a stick of wood on her person, or cause a bootjack to carom among her features. The law encourages you to regulate your own family affairs as long as you keep within the bounds of moderation, but when you mistake murderation for moderation then, Sam, just at that crisis the law steps in.” “I was only a sportin’ wid her.” “You were sporting with her, and now you are trying to make game of me. That will never do, Sam. That banged nose speaks out in thunder tones, and gives the lie to your assertions ; that gouged eye is a mute but eloquent witness against you; and beside there is the testimony of the neighbors who heard the whacks. Ten days in the county jail. ” “I don’t think you am doin’ de squar thing by me. I voted for you, and I helped elect you.” “That’s just it. You helped me into a position, and now I have helped you into a position, so that I don’t think ydi ought to accuse meT of ingratitude any more.” — Texas Siftings.