Democratic Sentinel, Volume 7, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 February 1883 — HOW RAOUL WAS MARRIED. [ARTICLE]

HOW RAOUL WAS MARRIED.

My friend Raoul was njarried day before yesterday at Sainte Clotilde. * * I arrived at the church; there was an immense crowd, and the ceremony had already commenced. The priest finished his address, and ended it by this sentence: “Be therefore united on this earth until you are finally united in heaven.” I was unable to keep back a little exclamation. Raoul was not wedding a young girl. He was marrying the pretty little Countess Jeanne de Charmelieu, the widow of my friend Gaston de Charmelieu. This lovely woman was destined to make my friends happy—Raoul after Gaston. On the earth nothing would be more simple— Gaston having withdrawn himself, there remained Raoul; but there above, in heaven, for the final union there will be two of them—Gaston and Raoul, the first and the second husband. I fell into a most profound reflection. That sentence of the priest of Sainte Clotilde probably made a part of all the little discourses he delivered in his marriage ceremonies., He had most likely made the same promise to Gaston five years before. He had probably told him if he lived and died in a Christian manner lie would meet his little Jeanne again among the angels, the archangels, tlio thrones and the rulers. *

In the meanwhile there was great confusion on all sides of me. The large organ pealed out Meriftelssolm’s wed-ding-march. I followed the crowd, which took me to the vestry-room. My hand was shaken by the bride and by the bridegroom, but I did not speak a single word to either of them. I don’t think I should have been able to resist saying to Raoul, “Did you hear and really comprehend what the priest said about the final union? There will be two of you for your final union.” I quitted the church, and made two or three calls. I went home; I went out riding; 1 dined at my club; I went to the opera; and all the while this foolish idea mastered me: “How will they— Gaston and Raoul—clear tliis up in the other world?” I went to bed, and to Bleep, and it was there that the dream began—a dream, don’t forget it; it is a dream.

I found myself in Paradise. In the station was a great movement of the trains. The ears left empty and came back full. The station-master was Saint Thomas. I talked to him, and he in a very obliging way explained to me the organization of the service. The trains, lie said to me, “leave the earth, touch at the .Infernal Legions, and at Purgatory, and. stop at Paradise. Just at present we have a great many people here—a great many. They have annoyed the sainted Father a little in these last few years, and he has had a little air of persecution put in the religion which has wanned up the lukewarm and has decided the indifferent. The council is an excellent thing and does us a 1 great deal of good. In short, w'e are very well contented indeed. There has been for several months a constant increase in the number of passengers for Paradise: Every day when the trains leave the earth it is necessary to put on more cars. I will let you judge of things for yourself. Ten minutes after 7. * * * The ex- { tress is about to arrive. Certainly, we lave express trains from the earth—don’t you hear the whistle ? We have taken the French organization because it is the best. But our communications with the planets are as yet not complete. Look well uoav, the train arrives. We have as you see carriages of three classes—first, second and third —a van for baggage, and a compartment for dogs. The people are getting out; give good attention and remember that * no great people go second-class. Tha small shopkeeper goes a little. She is generally a partisan of Voltaire’s philosophy. A free thinker and a critic is the little shopkeeper. In the thirdclass there is a great crowd; either all bad or all good. There is also a crowd in the first-class. Ah! One must know too that the rich have the greatest opportunities for getting their salvation. They have all their time to themselves, and, even admitting that they give the greater part of it to Satan, they can alway find, at great intervals, an hour or two to-get in with their religion. God is not so black as He is thought to be. He contents Himself with very little. Just stay here two or three days and you will see at least fifty trains, and in them you must assuredly see some one you know. l'ou will yourself perceive that one can gain Paradise very cheaply.”

He is a gossip, this Saint Thomas. He talked, talked, talked; but I had not been listening to him for several moments. My widow of Sainte Clotilde! The wife of Gaston! the wife of Raoul! It was she! I had seen her pretty head appear through the' portiere of the sleeping-car, and beside, light and active, she had lightly jumped from the car, and in doing this she showed her ankles, which were charming. She ran all around crying: have my ticket. ” I remembered having seen her one day in the station, at Compiegne getting out of a special train which was taking the guests of the Empress to her chateau, and on that day, too, she showed her ankles and ran about crying, “My trunks; don’t let them forget" my trunks —I have fourteen.” A royal officer of the station of Compiegne -came to her and said: “Do not worry, Madame la Comtesse; I will take charge of your trunks. That is what I am here for.” Saint Peter came to her in the station of Paradise and said: ““Your ticket, Madame; will you nave tne goodness to show me your ticket?” “Here it is, sir.” “Perfectly correct; you can pass. Here is the entrance to Paradise. ” My little iriend made a pretty bow

and passed on. A foolish idea took possession of me. I wished to follow her into Paradise. Who knows? Perhaps Raoul had died, and my widow was going to find herself "between her two lmsbands. I asked Saint Thomas if he could not let me in. “Yery easily,” he replied. “They won’t keep me? I will be able to leave? Because, don’t you see, however delightful Paradise may be. if I still liave several good years oh earth, I would like just as well not to lose them. Life is only for a time, and Paradise is eternal. ” “Don’t be frightened' you will be able to .get out. Come,” and he took me to Saint Peter. “You will recognize this gentleman,” he said to him; “he will only go in and out.” “Enter sir, enter; I will recognize yon.” Here I am in Paradise, and I arrived at the right moment. Raoul and Gaston, who had lain in wait for the passengers, had already thrown themselves on their wife. Gaston had taken her right hand and pulled from one side, saying: “Jeanne, my dear Jeanne.” Raoul had taken her left hand and pulled from the other side, saying: “Martha, my dear Martha.” She had two little names, and she had thought it best, when she became engaged to her second husband, not to keep the nickname which had been used bv the 'first. This was an adorable creature who had a wonderful delicacy of sentiment. Raoul and Gaston in the meanwhile did not either of them let go of her hands. “Jeanne.” “Martha.” “I am your first husband.” “I am voitr second lmsband.” “My rights are not disputable.” “ sir. let go of Madame.” “Lam hot speaking to you, sir. Ido not know you.” “I do not know von.” * * * Now they had been intimate friends during their lives on earth, and could never pass"each other without stopping. Raoul did not budge from liis place near Gaston, and the dispute between them became hotter. -They raised their voices. Life is very peaceful in heaven, but it is a little monotonous, and the least event has the same effect as a runaway has in a little provincial village. All the blest, both male and female, gathered around from all parts. Some took the part of the first husband, some of the second. As for Jeanne, she had disengaged her hands, and spoke neither to Raoul nor to Gaston. Saint Thomas-had accompanied me into Paradise. “ This kind of thing,” I said to him, “must often happen. Women who have had two _ husbands are not at all rare on earth.” “Grantea; but Avhat is new, absolutely new, is this fashion of two men disputing about one wife. Ordinarily, in the same circumstance, the question is, which one would not take back liis wife ?” “And when the situation is reversed, when there are two wives and only one husband?” “ Ohl then it is entirely different.. The question among the women is which one will be able to get back her husband. Women are wild for husbands, even in Paradise. We had, however, an odd incident on the day Napoleon I. arrived.” “Ah! He is in Paradise, Napoleon I. ?” “ Oh! he had a little while in Purgatory; and, frankly speaking, it was justice. Look at his history with Pius lU. at Fontainebleau! He was still in Purgatory when, in 1852, after the coup d'etat, Napoleon 111. behaved so handsomely to Pius IX. that it was thought that they could not decently keep the uncle of such a nephew in Purgatory any longer. So they opened the gates of Paradise to him. He arrived, and his first words were: ‘And my two wives ?’ ‘ Have you any preference ? ’ ‘ Yes,. certainly. I will most willingly take back Josephine.’ “They immediately run to Josephine. *lt is Napoleon. He is here, and he wants you.’ ‘I am very sorry,’ answered Josephine, dryly; ‘but, after what happened in 1809, never, never, never.’

“They go immediately to Marie Louise, who screams, ‘1 see Napoleon again ? I who live so peacefully with the General! Don’t speak to me of Napoleon. Let him take back Josephine.’ Neither one nor the other would change her resolution. Napoleon remained standing alone, feeling rather vexed, when Mme. de Stael ran up. * Napoleon,’ said she, ‘ give him to me. I will take charge of him;’ and they live very happily together.” At this moment Saint Peter was interrupted by a cry from the crowd of “The Eternal Father! the Eternal Father !” Ikwos the in truth the Eternal Father. He was passing that way by chance, and, having heard a noise, he stopped. A dream —this is all a dream, fee careful and don’t forget that. Be ally he was the Eternal Father of the Italian school. In a gray cloud,, a long white beard, and with an admirable air of indulgence and of charity, he is a common and virtuous Jupiter. He stops and asks what is going on. They tell him briefly. “Very well,” says the Eternal Father, “what could be more simple? Madame is here as a reward for her Christian sentiments and her religious conduct. She has a right to the greatest possible happiness. Let her decide which of these two gentlemen she prefers. ” “But,” observes Gaston, “that one of us which shall be beaten comes in last?" Gaston, who owned a racing stable on earth, still kept using the most deplorable expressions even in the presence of the Eternal Father.--“Very well,” answered the Eternal Father, “to the one of you who is not chosen I will give one of the women who have not been reclaimed, and who are encumbering Paradise. ” “Make haste, madame, don’t let us lose any time. Make your choice. ” Silent and motionless Jeanne stood between her two husbands, and both Gaston and Baoul tried to think of a sentiment which would go most surely to her heart. “Bemember,” said Gaston, “that when I married you you had only 800,000 francs for a dot.” “And you had not a cent when I, in my turn, married yon; your dot bad gone for frippery, and Monsieur had idiotically eaten up his fortune in baccarat and the races. ” “You had only 300,000 francs, and I ' could have married little Blanche de Timiane,who had 1,000,000. I know very well that your father said to me: ‘I give a new dot of 300,000 francs to my daughter; ’ but he paid me in the stock of his Bolivian mines, which stock, at the end of three months, was worth 14,000 francs, instead 300,000.”

“I did not think about the question of money. I always said to myself: ‘lf I marry, I want the prettiest and most stylish woman in Paris.’ That is the reason I married yon, Jeannette.” “Fourteen thousand francs! I had but 14,060 francs! And yet did-I ever dispute one of your dressmaker’s bills? And they were outrageously dear, those bills. I still remember certain memoranda of 17,000 fcancs.** “And I have had one of 23,000! * * * And, too, I did not have, like Monsieur, a million francs of rentes; but I was so proud of your beauty, Jeapne, and the uproar which tins beauty created in the world. Your luxury was my great pride. What laces -and diamonds! What carriages! What horses! What liveries! And vour chamber, Jeannette, your chamber of rubysatin 1 And. then the boxes in all the first tiers! * * * Three hundred, francs did I pay for the first box to ‘La Famille Benoiton ? ’ ” “Boxes? He speaks of boxes! Why, even before I was married, it was I who always paid for the boxes. The first one at ‘Petit Faust’ cost me 400 francs, and in 1868 I gave 500 francs for one at Patti’s benefit.” “ The date!—he remembers the date! Why, you dined with me five times a week, Monsieur, and you were always crammed in our box at the Italiens and the Opera; you who make so much fuss about two or three miserable boxes offered to my wife. ” “ Two or three? But, in truth, such particulars are infamous. ” , “It is my advice,” said the Eternal Father, who was beginning to get impatient in his cloud, “cut it short, gentlemen. Cut it short, and I entreat you, madame, make choice:” Jeanne remained impassive, and the two husbands talk, talk, talk. “ Remember, ” said Gaston, “ for you I ruined my career. I resigned my commission of Captain of the Hussars, because you dicLnot want to come to the garrison at ‘ ‘ And I attached myself to the Empire on account of my love for you. Monsieur, you have gone to the Ministerial assemblies and to the official balls. That kind of thing amused you. You were not willing to renounce them, while, to the great horror of all my friends, I consented to show myself at the Tuileries. lat the Tuileries, at the house of a Napoleon!” “No politics,” cried the Eternal Father, “and, above all, nothing derogatory to the Emperor Napoleon tH. He has but to withdraw his troops from Rome. What would become of the council ?”

“So be it; no polities. Beside, I have a few conclusive words to say,” said Gaston. “ Jeane, my dear Jeanne, remember ‘our love,’ our long walks in the evening in the woods to your father’s, at Roches-Grises. We walked slowly, very slowly, through the little lanes, your head on my slioul-* der. And then, on the day of our marriage, we went all alone, at six o’clock, by the post. We arrived at my house at midnight, in the most horrible cold. The country was all white, don’t yon remember ? And what an immense tire we found in the chateau, and in what trouble we both were!” “ Really, sir,” brusquely interrupted Raoul, “such reminiscences are out of place/’ “ff is possible, Monsieur, but I am allowed to do it—to speak of my love and also of my confidence. Mv confidence was a splendid thing! What a number of people said to me, ‘ Take care of Raoul.’ ‘ Raoul,’ that was Monsieur. * That he is very fond of you is understood; but there is one person that he is still fonder of, and that person is your wife.’ I disdained all this gos«in.” “ I have a word to say, too, on the subject of confidence. Later, sir, after you, when I, in my turn, was the husband, the little slanderers still went their way. They spoke to me about Monsieur de Lericourt—to me! What an absurdity! He was my best friend!” ♦ I noticed that Jeanne could not help giving a little start when she heard the name of Monsieur de Lericourt. I noticed it, but Raoul saw nothing, and continued': “And then Lericourt was killed in Mexico, and when you heard this unexpected news, my darling, you allowed such a natural and legitimate expression of grief to escape you. I received an abominable anonymous letter. ' ‘ Your wife,’ it said, ‘ has more tears for the friend than she would have for her husband.’ I never spoke to you of that letter. Suspect you! suspect Lericourt!”

“What is this about - Lericourt?” cried the Eternal Father. “Ishe a third husband? lam getting mixed up with all this.” “One more word, Eternal Father, only one. But to conclude: the day of my marriage with Madame a priest—an excellent priest—declared to me at Sainte Clotilde that our union on earth should be followed by an eternal union in heaven.” “And I, Eternal Father,” answered Gaston, “on the day of my marriage at the Madeleine—a Bishop, do you understand—not a priest—a Bishop?—made to me in the same words the same promise.” “This is getting very embarrassing,” muttered the Eternal Father, “very embarrassing. My representatives on earth act in a very thoughtless manner sometimes. But you, Madame, who are saying nothing, speak, it is for you to decide.” “In your infinite goodness, Seigneur,” she replied, “you will allow me to make an arrangement to become the wife of M. de Lericourt, who is over there in that little cloud, and who has been making signs to me for the last fifteen minutes.” I turned my head and I perceived Lericourt, who, in his little cloud at the left of Us, was making the most expressive and gallant gestures. Yet another friend, Lericourt! This charming woman was, I repeat, called to contribute to the happiness of her friends both in this world and the next. “Why did you not say so immediately?” answered the Eternal Father. “This will harmonize everything. Make your arrangements with Monsieur de Lericourt. What I wish for is that you inay be happy in Paradise, since you have been a good Christian.” * * * * * * * And here below I awoke with a start, so realistic did this discourse seem on the part of the Eternal Father.— From the French. No English town has grown so rapidly as Cardiff, in South Wales, which now ranks even above Newcastle a-i a coal post. Its docks aggregate an area of 150 acres. Prof. Swing, of Chicago, characterizes the Salvation Army as ‘ bric-a-brac in religion.”