Democratic Sentinel, Volume 6, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 January 1883 — An Impossibility. [ARTICLE]

An Impossibility.

Deserving articles are always appreciated. The exceptional cleanli ness of Parker’s Hair Balsam makes t popular. Gray hairs are impossible with its occasional use.

The eight brothers of Alvin Hawkin | the Republican Governor of Tennesse* I who was defeated for re-election, vote | against him. There is an apropos olu proverb about a house divided against itself. “I don’t miss nay Church as much as you suppose,” the Boston Globe reports a lady as remarking to her minister, who hid called upon her during her illnesr, “for I make Betsy sit at the window as soon as the bells begin to chime and tell me wbo are going to Church, and whether they have £Ot on anything new.’ A Portland paper tells a story of a wealthy but very parsimonious Maine | man who, two or three days before his death, awoke in the evening, and, turning to the watcher at the bedside, asked • “How much do they give you a night!” “Two dollars and a half,” was the reply. ‘VWell. you needn’t come nnv more; I can” stand such a sum sa that,” aud he .didn’t.

At an entertainment recently given by the ladies of the Congregational Caurcu, oilmanton, N. H. Rev. Frank N. Greeley briefly told the story of “Mary Butler’s Hide!’ and read an extract from the poem by B. F. Taylor. As he closed, the stage* curtain rose and the audience saw Mary Rutlei’sgranddaughter spinning on Mary Butler’s wheel—the identical wheel she “set to rest” when she started on her famous ride to Bunker Hill at the news of the great battle. The Chicago later- Ocean, commenting cn a recent sermon in which such expressions as the “primordial fire mist,” “uncommeasurable eternities,” “redemption conditioned creation,” and ‘ internal self* destruction impaled upon the sharp retribution of an overmastering omnipotence ” occurred, says: ‘ Imagine the Sermon on the Mount translated into this kind o'! English, or the parable of the prodigal son jammed full of jaw-twisting words like a b >om full ol logs in high water.”

How it was Done ‘‘How do you manage,” 6ald a lady to tier friend, “to’anpear so happy and good natured all the time?” “I always have Parker’s Ginger tonic handy," was the reply, ‘‘and thus easily keep myself and family ia'good health. When I am well I always feel good natured. When he said he had lived in Nevada several years a man who looked some- ’ thing like a Church deacon stepped forward and asked: “My friend, is the Bible respected in that State?” “Oh. yes”— “Do they have Churches?” “Plenty of ’em.” “And the Lord rules there as well as in New Jersey?” “Well, I don’t know about that,” was the doubtful answer. “™hen I bought mining stocks for 20 per cent, of their face value aud saw them jump to 50 above par, I tho’t tue Lord bad a firm grip ou the St te; but again, when 1 struck a silver mire worth millions in digging fish bait and sold the whole for a gallon of whisky which burnt the soles oil' my boots, J. had a dim suspicion that the devil and Nevada were partners in stocking the cards.” In the House of Representatives the other day a great compliment was paid to Mr, S. ri. Cox, of this city, by Mr. Lytc i, of Mississippi, calling him “too much of a strict constructionist.” A thousand other phrases designed to be flattering aud to conyey nothing but praise cou d not confer so much honor on the dishn guished Representative ot the Sixth N* w Yrk District. Mr. Cox is indeed a strict constructionist, aud he has a right to;glory in it. He cleeg not believe m the arrogation of power not conferred by the Constitution on the part of atfy officer or of any representative body. Mr. Cox is a genuiue statesman of the old school, and the record ot his long seryice in Coqgress is a record of upright, unselfish, conscientious aud faithful efforts for the public welfare.—New York Sun. The National Soldiers’ Homes throughout the United States have 13,000 iumates. Glass napkins can now be had for $75 per doxen, which is a fall ol $25 in six weeks. However, the old way ot wiping off your chin with your plate is good enough lor winter weather.—Detroit Free Press. Gen, John Payne, of Wnsaw, Ky., probably is the oldes pensioner on the Uuited States peusion roils. He is 87 years old, and has beeu drawing a pension for the loss of an arm in the service ever since 1820—sixty years. , Whon some nretty Irish girl is stolen away, they suspect some boycotter. The simpls decoction of onion peel is said to produce udoq gloveleather an orange yellow superior in luster to anyother. It is also said to be suitable in mixing with light bark shades, especially willow bark, and as i. yellow for modulating browns. The onion dye is said to fix itself readily, even upon leathers which resist colors, and colors them well and even. An Austin young man has been boring a young lady with his attraction for some time past, although on various sundry occasions she has given him to understand that he was distasteful to her. A lew evenings assured .her that he was anxious to fulfill her very wish. “Is it a fact that you will do anything lask you?” ‘Your slightest wish Is law. Command me that I shall obey." “Well, then, I wish you would see if vou can induce my mother to marry you. She is a widow and is not as particular about whe she marries as I am. "—Texas Siftings.

While Hawthorne was ever ready to sit for his portrait, he objected strenuously to have bis photogr. ph taken. J. Lothrop Motley, who well knew Hawthorne’s aversion, set a trap for his friend in this wise: He invited him to wain one day In Len don,and, as they were passing the room of a well-known phothographer, Motley asked gHawthorne to make a selection from seme pictures of himself which were ready, he supposed for examination. They entered, chat ted pleasantly together, Hawthorne being in the best of spirits. Dropping into a chair which Motley placod for him, he looked after his friend disappearing behind a screen In quest of the proofs. At this moment, and with this look of animation upon his face, his photograph was taken, the artist having made all necessary preparations Motley’s proofs were produced and examined, and Hawthorne was never told that he had been “taken “

Senator Faulkner' “Jayhawer” in a recent letter to the Commercial Gazette says: Senator Faulkner, a temperance Democrat, was rafcapant to day over the recommendation of the Governor that th members violate oaths by voting to submit the amendments to the people. “I tell you,” said he, “that this defect in the record is, in my opinion, a part of the pxogiame of .Ben Harrieon to defraud tije voters of Indiana, on the temperance question. You can’t make me believe that with all the ti lent which they had in the last Legislature that they would have made such a bluuder. They pretended to pass the amendment two years ago to catch the temperance vote, intending if they carried the State last fall to discover ths defective record and keep