Democratic Sentinel, Volume 6, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 January 1883 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 3 [ADVERTISEMENT]

funeral should take there*wm tothisg will to attract raaoy mourners, the fwneral procession wa* limited to the driver of th* hears and a young neighbor of the deceased. He got tuej mattress and found in it $40,000. Hon. Silver Plated Ccffin Orr was arguing with a man who asserted that tlie colored race never h*ld any position of honor among the aucigot Jews. “Now lookee faeab sah.” exclaimed the old man, “dat am a fab-, xicated on truth, an’it shows dat yer never read four Bible. Mah! yer ignornmer*,. who was Nigger Demua? Wasn't he a ruler of der Jews? Yah! yah! Guess dis nigger got yer dar! Wh*#e oi l Nigger Detnus, honoy? and de old man limped away chuckling heirtly at his supposed victor.— Whitehall Ti liiOS,

——— *• -*r<*i*f » ' — The plea of insanity is becoming so frequent that Judge Wylie, of Washington, says- “I give notio* now to all eracy people who are intent on committiug crime that I will send them all to to the penitentiary on conviction." * It costs this government over SIB,OOO per year to fire sunset guns at various military posts, but we wouldn’t have’em stop it ior anything. The sun dosn’t know enough to 6ink out of sight without being eh*t at—Detroit Frey Press. Mark twain failed to answer a letter written to him by Sergeant Ballentine. After vruiting a r< asonable tirae’tbe letter was so exasperated at not receiving an answer that he mailed Twain a . h*et of paper and a postage stamp as a gentle reminber. Mr Clemens wrote back on on a postal; “Paper and stamp received; please, send an enevlope, A Polished priest as Bpy City, Mich., had had his ayes opened to the range and accuracy of the law of libel, by being called to pay $220 10 a parishioner whorae he bad boldly o*nnunced from the alter as a bad Gatholio, warning the congregation not so business with him. Th* worst about kissing a Pittsburg girl is that you carry the mark* of coal dust about your aose and features until you reach the nearest pump.—Builington Hawkey#, »■«•»—■■■ JnLn Billings “Whenev*i I find a real h uidsome womaa engaged in tho wiuiming’s right bizzn*ss, then lam goin’to take mi hat undei mi arm and jine the procession.” Jay Gould is something of a wag. He defines a panic as that situation in which "men are apt to lose their balance.”

The Secret of the universal success of * Brown’s Iron Bitters i« simply this; It is the best Iron preparation ever made; is compounded on thoroughly scientific, chemical and medicinal principles, and does just what is claimed for it—no more and no less. By thorough and rapid assimilation with the blood, it reaches every part of the system, healing, purifying and strengthening. Commencing at the foundation it builds up and restores lost health —in no other way can lasting benefit be obtained. 79Dearborn Ave.,Chicago, Nov. 7. 1 have been a great sufferer from « very weal: stomach, heartburn, and dyspepsia in its worst form. Nearly everything I ate gave me distress, ancT 1 could eat but little. I have tried everything recommended, have taken the prescriptions of a dozen physicians, but got no relief until I took Brown’s Iron Bitters. I feel none of the old troubles, ana am a new man. I am getting much stronger, and feel first-rate. lam <t railroad engineer, and now make my trips regularly. I can not say too much in praise of your wonderful medicine. D. C. Mack. Brown’s Iron Bitters does not contain whiskey or alcohol, and will not blacken the teeth, or cause headache and constipation. It will cure dyspepsia, indigestion, heartburn, sleeplessness, dizziness, nervous, debility, weakness, &c. Use only Brown’s Iron Bitters made by Brown Chemical Co., Baltimore. Crossed red lines and trade-mark on wrapper.

tnnivnaa* F. J. SEARS & SON, *“ * * A Dealers In net Furniture and Upholstered Good*, Oar pels,’ Oil-Clot ha and House r IIA ., ishine Goods. We keep the Largest Stock, Latest Styles, and Be* Goods to be found in jasper county. • BBBHRSn ■ Our Undertaking department is complete. We can fbrmah any kMof C* B ® called for. Metalic, Cloth-covered, Gloss White. Walnut and common kept constantly on hand We are practical Funera Directors, and are prepared to Embalm when a , t . n «n« caHed upon. We attend all Funerals, when desired, with Hearee^ to above is solicited. r J • * bU N • Rsnassiaer, Ind„ Nov. 188* — 8m. \ltotxiU i&lStKsl-in ; i .•»»/.‘-ju’ r. ....