Democratic Sentinel, Volume 6, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 August 1882 — Impudence and Ignorance. [ARTICLE]

Impudence and Ignorance.

Some years ago a trial in Philadelphia exposed the stupid ignorance and brazen impndence of a quack whose patients were numerous enough to yield him a handsome living. He sued a man for medical services, and, going onto the witness stand to prove that he had rendered them, was subjected to the following cross-examination: “Did you trSat the patient according to the most approved rules of surgery ?” “ Certainly, I did.” “ Did you decapitate him ?” “ Undoubtedly; that was a matter of course. His condition required it, and it was attended with great success.” “ Did you then subject his person to an autopsy ?” “That was the last remedy I adopted, sir.” “Well, then, doctor,” said the counsel, “ as you first cut off the defendant's head, then dissected him and he still survives, I have nothing more to ask. If your claim will survive it, quackery deserves to be immortal.”— Youth's Companion . Simon Kbichabd, his wife, two sons and two daughters, pf Mauch Chunk, Pa., weigh together 1,522 pounds, and claim to be the heaviest famifv of six in Pennsylvania. Their several separate weights are represented to be 245, 235, 220, 222, 2'JQ and 400 pounds* The old need them for strength ; the young want them for a tonic ; the sick crave them to get well; the well take .them .to remain so ; dyspeptics need them for relief; epicures like them as an appetizer; everybody takes Hops and Malt Bitteca. A country rdctortealled rather early ut>on one of his parishioners. O.ie of the ofciidren saw him comii and ran into the house to tell his mother. The little fellow soon retfirhed to the front and «sumed his play. The clergyman inquired,‘‘ls your mother at home?” “No sir,” replied the chrli ; “ me is out at present.” “Tell her when she returns that I balled,” said the clergyman. “I did tell her,” replied the little hoy. * Fob dyspepsia, indigestion, depresslbn of spirits and general debility, in their various forms: also as a preventive against fever and ague ana other intermittent fevers, the “ Ferro-Phosphor-ated Elixir of Calisaya,” made by Caswell, Hazard A Co., New York, and sold by ail druggists, is the best tonic; and tor recovering from fever or other sickness it has no equal. .. ... . L... ; Aa •' “ What are yoqy views of F.urqpe, my dear sir?” patronizingly inquire! a note-book mauler, as be poised his ready penml. Mostly stereosoopio," wag the curt reply pf t^vel-