Democratic Sentinel, Volume 6, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 July 1882 — THE S. E. C. [ARTICLE]

THE S. E. C.

THAT LITTLE RESOLUTION OK SLANG. At the last regular meeting of the Young Ladies’ Society for Esthetic Cultuie, a resolution, discountenance iDg the use of slang by the members of the association, created quite a spirited discussion. The following is the resolution which was offered by Miss Ten Eyck: Resolved, That the use of slang phrases i 3 unlady-like, and illy becomes the members of the S E C. t Before submitting the resolution to a vo'e, it was deemed prudent to get the opinion of the members concerning it. Miss Demure thought a ladv who would use slang was rather snide, and generally gave herself away by doing so. Tiie Chair remarked that the young lady hardly appreciated the true inwardness of the resolutio . But Miss Blake came to the rescue of Miss Demure and protested that Her Royal Nibbs in the chair was a little off in her chin music, and was ' guying the whole outfit. She advised ■ the Chair to pull down her basque, as ] it were. Miss Pleasant thought slang was O. K-, and remarked in an off-hand man ner, that last nieht on the av' she had dead loads' of fun flirting with a fly Rodent, who wore a pancake dicer and a daisy Benjamin that, was too sweet for anything. Miss liaversny indignantly averrpd that no girl wiTi any style about her would stoop to slang- It sounded too thin, and smaeked of taffy.. Miss Offended said she couldn’t catch on to what was meant by a ‘pa a cake dicer’ of a hat. Hers were a Gainesborough and a Bernhardt, and she trimmed them with maroon plush plaiting and miniature sun-'floweis that were just too-too.

Miss Underwood smilingly remarked that she should blush to simper if she was ever caught using slang. She Dever would; oh, no! not this eve. some other eve. Good language always took ttie ca te —frosting and all. After several other members had fired away at the resolution, pro and con, Miss Paralyzer sent in the following broadside: “What kind of a gaff are you giving us, anyway? Take a reef in your upper jaw and cheese the racket! If any one takes me for < a last year’s crow’s nest she’ll g*t left. You can bet your .Saratoga wave I’m the kiDg pin of this here hen convention, and Igo in for slang. I’m the high mucky muck on slang slinging, and I’ll have a square deal if it takes four cold decks to get it. That’s the kind of a nait-pin I am! And when this question is put to vote, no redhaired sallow face, with a mole under her left eye and dollar store diamonds in her ears, can make me take water. I’ve cut my eye-teeth, I have, and no smart Aleck can bulldoze me. You hear mo howl?” ”Keno!” shrieked the agonized members in chorus, aud when Her Royal Nibbs put tne question to vote, the resolution was adopted by an overwhelming majority. The meeting then adjourned, and as they skipped the gutter ar d meandered homeward, the following song might have been heard, the tune of which vibrated painfully on the moonlight air: “I saw the boat go ’round the bend, Good-bye, my lover, good bye!”

DOING THE SOUTH JUSTICE. THE PLAIN SPOKEN MICHIGAN POLITICIAN WHO 18 AFRAID TO LOSE HIS GRlP[Detroit Free Press ] Jn Charleston I met a Michigander who has served two terms in the Mi cbigau Legislature, held a Federal office, of'soine prominence in the State, and been famous as a politician in the Republican party. After we had walked around for an hour I asked: “Now. then, what do you think of these people? Ysu have seen them with their coats off, and can judge them as they are.” “I tell yon I’m ashamed of myself!” wa° his reply- “When I think of how we had lied about them and their institutions I am asuamed to look tirem in the face.” “Have they treated you well?” “Splendidly.” “And they knew you were from the North?” “Yes,” “And that you were a strong Republican?” “Yes.” “And what do you think of the darky?” “D—n him, sir; d—n him!” was his hearty exclamation. “We wouldn’t stand the half from him that the South does, He is shiftless, thievish, and a general nuisance.— I’ve talked with a score of ’em, and they are as ignorant as our horses. They vote my ticket, but they can’t tell me why. They have no reason, no argument, no principle, and so little sense that I wonder how they get through the week ” “When you return home you’ll do the South justice?” “How?”

“Why, you’ll talk to your party members just as you have talked to me?” ! ‘N— o, I can’t dc that,” he answered. “If i should go back and tell ’em exactly how things are I’d—l’d—” “You’d lose your grip?” “Exactly.” “And to keep your grip you must continue to lie about, abuse and malign the people who have taken you to their din er tables and shown you every possible kindness and courtesy. You must continue to claim that they don’t give the black man a fair show, when you |know better. You must continue tojcall ’em Rebels, wlien you see every Federal law obeyed, and everybody’ contented and happy—Colonel, politics is a nasty business.” “Cuss politics,” he growled, as he left me at the corner. A decision that will be very important jn oases where crime has beep committed when the criminal was under the influence of strong drink, has just been rendered by the Court of Appeals, in New York, the highest tribunal in that State, Anjeffort had been made in the New York courts to set up drunkenness as an excuse for crime. Tne case reached the Court of Appeals, where it was decided that it could not be considered as an ex tenuating’circumstance; that the man that voluntarily becomes intoxicated is just as responsible before the law as if he were perfectly sober. Hereafter prisoners in the State of New York cannop-bope for the clemency of the law by pleading drunkenness as an excuse for the crime.

A St. Louis editor accidentally repelled in his morning mail proofsheets intended for the employes of a religious publication house, and after glan ing over them, rushed to the city editor yelling, “Why in the world didn’t you get a report of that big flood? Even that slow, old religious newspaper across the way is ahead of you. Send out your force for fall particulars—only one family saved. Interview the old man. His name is Noah.”—lndependent.

A Remedy fob Potato Bogs.— The Troy Press tells of a farmer who tried a new remedy with success. He procured a number of boards and placed them here and there among the potatoes. and on these boards were placed raw potatoes sliced- At noon on the first day es his experiment, he and hired men found every piece of potato covered with bugs. The men killed this crop and at night another crop was killed, though not so large, and in a week not a bug could bo seen, and in a week not n bug could oeseen, and his trouble with bugs after that was comparatively small. In the spring, be says, is the best time to attend to the bugs, as a spring bug. he understands, breeds from 200 to 300 during the- potato season. He thinks it would; be a good pla'n to dip the pieces of potato In Paris Green, as it would Bave the work of killing the bugs.

“Nothing,” said au impatient husband. “so reminds me of Balaam and his ass as two women stopping in a church aDd obstructing the way, to indulge in their everlasting talk.” — “But you forger, my dear,” retorted hia wife, meekly, “that it was the angel who stopped In the way, and Ba*mam and his ass who complained of it.” A 15 year old daughter of W. H. Stout, editor of the DeWiit, Saline county Times, died at Lincoln, Neb., from the burns received on the Fourth. Her clothing was set on fire by a cracker, and before assistance reached her she was horribly burned- She was a young lady of trreat promise, and highly esteemed by all who. knew her. The man who wrote “The StarSpangled Banner” is to have a SIO,OOO monument. "When living he would have taxen SSOO and called it squareNew Haven Register: “What’s that you’re playing?” said a New Haven man ta his daughter, who was pounding at the piano key board with more noise than skill. “It is Wagnerian, pa—that’s the music of thA future.” “Oh, it is, is it’ Let it be a Jong time in the future before I hear apy more of it. Play me ‘Coming Through the J Ry6.’” “Oh, pa, ain’t you horrid; al- ! ways thinking about something to I ! drink.” Honors are easy, in that' i family.

SUPREME JUDGESHIP. Hancock Democrat: Gu*-old and cs'eemed friend, Hon. Brown, of Ne* Castle, has at last consented that his name may be used for the Supreme Judgeship for the Eastern Distr’et. This is as it should" be; for Judge Brswn is a thorough lawyer, an excellent writer, a gentleman of discretion and probity, and Demoetatio from principle. Living in the strong hold of Republicanism, his advocacy of Democratic principles and meas ures is actuated solely bv patriotic motives, and without any hope of local reward. To our friends of tie Democratic press of Indiana, we can say in all truth and fairness that Judge Brown is one of the best and purest men in Eastern Indiana, and has every requisite qualification to make a fair, just, impartial and intels ligent Judge of the Supreme Court Living about the center of the E*st-> ern District, which has never been honored by a candidacy for this office by the Democracy, is a strong argument in favor of his nomination by our approaohing State Convention. * * * * Judge Brown is the man for the position, aud if the nomination is given him, a high order of legal ability will b complimented, and the best interest of the Democratic party greatly subserved.! *—: "* Go and see the new stock of Gro*ceries at A. Leopold’s old store. Tharp & Hopkins.

F >R CfiERR OF TRE SUPREME COURT. —The Shelby Democrat heists the name of B. S. Sutton as a candidate for Clerk of the Supreme Court. We have not bad the pleasure of a personal acquaintance with Mr. Sutton, but from reputation we heartily in dorse all that the Shelby Democrat says in its high encomiums. There will probably be several aspirants for the same position, and doubtless all will be good men- If Mr. Sutton should be the lucky man, we promise that Crawford county will give him a hearty support. Crawford County Democrat.

Texas has nearly 2,600 convicts In ■ her penitentiaries. FADED COLORS RESTORED. ! Faded or grav hair gradually recovers its youthful color and lustre by the use of Parker’s Hair Balsam, an elegant dressing, admired for i.e purity and rich perfume. Young alligators run loose in the .streets of Tampa, Fla. A full stock of Harps, Accordeons, Violins-, Violin Strings, Bows, and Bridges at Kannal’s. Groceries cheaper than ever at - Thabp & Hopkixs’ Mr. W- M. Girardeau gathered from bis field io Jefferson county, near Monticello, Florida, the other day, 800 watermelons that averaged 40 lbs. each.

Highest market price paid for all kinds of country produce at Thabp & Hopkins’. A Colorado constable had a warrant for the arrest of a circus man for an alleged assault, but the circus mac betook himself to the lion’s cage, and safely enscoDSed therein taunteo that constable and iuvited hifn in. The constable withdrew wi h liis warrant unserved. The attraction of the town, is the popuhr Millinery Store ot E. 1 • Hou;«u. —— Watekmelons. — The w a t e i melon contains about 95 per cent, of the purest water, and a trace of the purest sugar, and nothing has yet been discovered that furnishes so perfect and speedv a“cure” for summer complaint as 'watermelon, and nothing else. Even when diarrhea has been kept up by continued eating of ordi nary food' until the disease has become chronic, this delicious beveiage —for it is little more—watermelon, taken freely two or three times a day, has again and again been known to work wonders, and to “cure’ when all the usual remedies have failed. —F ood I and Health.

Call in and see us before baying your groceries elsewhere. Tharp & Hopkins, Leopold’s Stone Building < How Sunstroke Can be Cured. —For an effective cure of sunstroke the following is especially recommended: — Remove the patient to a shaded spot at once. Place tne body in a sitting posture, the back against the wail, with the feet and legs resting upoD the sidewalk and extended In front of the body. Get and some strong essence of ginger. Pour the ice-wact r over the head, copiously, never mind the clothes. Then pour two or three table-spoonfuls of ginger in about a half a tumbler of water and make the patient swallow it quickly. Keep the head cool by using a little of the ice water, and in case there is not much of a glow upon the body give more ginger. If the directions are followed there will be no occasion for the services of an undertaker. Ginger is far the best to use, but when it cannot be had quickly two or three good drinks of brandy will answer. —Boston Herald. Go to Kannal’s Drug & Jewelry Store to get your watch or clock repnjred—H. B ! Smith the competent watch maker.