Democratic Sentinel, Volume 6, Number 6, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 March 1882 — Love-Making in 1891. [ARTICLE]

Love-Making in 1891.

W aen women shall have obtained tholr Right*. ] Edwin—“ Believe me, dearest—” Angelina—“ Pardon me, Edwin, but is that the best adjective you can use ? The word “ dearest” implies that I have cost you a great deal—have been very expensive. Now, when I prepared our settlements with my solicitor, I—” [Explains the Law of Real and Personal Property.] Edwiu—“Thanks, darling, your lecture lms been delightful. But see, the moonlight tinges the trees without—” Angelina—“ Moonlight? lam glad you have memtioned the moou. Do you know that our planetary system is—’ [Exhaustively canvasses the whole system of modem astronomy. ] Edwiu—“Wonderful ! But the nightingale lias begun her sweet singing—” Angelina—“ Really! That reminds me, you told me the other day that you knew little or nothing of natural history. I have an excellent memory, and will recite a few chapters of White’s 4 Belborne ’ to you. [Does so.] Edwin, (awaking from his slumber) “Ah, indeed I But come, my own one—” Angelina—“ Beloved one, as accuracy is to be more esteemed than affection, do not call me thine. Until I am married I am a femme sole, and even when we are united the tendency of modern legislation is to separate the parties. It was uot so in the past—” [Gives a history of the world from the earliest ages. ] Edwiu (yawning)—“ Charming ! Most interesting ! Sweet Angelina, you speak so well, that I Bhould like to hear your voice mocking that nightingale. Sing, darling, sing ! Angelina—“l would rather tell you what I know of thorough bass. But first let me correct you. I can scaroely rival the nightingale. The human frame differs materially from the frames of birds and animals.” [Lectures upon anatomy in all its branches. ] Edwin (in his sleep)—“Grand I Very good ! (Waking.) Ah ! I must be off! Farewell, Angelina, the hours will seem years when I am away from you." Angelina—“ Then they should not. There need be no confusion of time in your case, as you are not about to travel round the world. Certainly, if you were, you would find your watch losing as you moved southward. In connection with the subject I may say a little about 4 time.’ You must know, then, that—” [ Rapidly sketches the difference of the real and ecclesiastical equinox, the Gregorian reform, etc., etc.] Edwin (tearing himself away)—“Farewell, dearest—l should say own one, or rather femme sole. Good-by up til I see thee again. ” [Exit to attempt to csgipe to America, to avoid damages for a breach of promise of marriagej Augeliua— 44 Fortunately I have taken my medical degree, and can read his mifid like an open book ! ” [Exit to her solicitor torestrain him 1 ]

A theatrical man at Chicago thought it would be smart to make a friend who slept with him believe that the smart man had smallpox. So he got upr in the night, and with stage paint he painted his face with smallpox pustules, and went to sleep. The innocent man woke up in the morning and looked at bis friend, and finding him broke out, ho went ont qnietly and notified the health officers, and they came with an ambulance to take him to the pest-honse. Tlio smart fellow had to do some of the best acting he ever did in his life to keep ont of the pest-house. He is not exactly clear whether it pays to be so almighty smart or not,

The Democratic Sentinel OfffCULPAPIB or FRIDAY, MARCH 10.1882.

About 1,000 negroes hare emigrated from Maury county, Mitsissi ppi» this year. Mr. W.H. Mattingly has retired from the Rochester Republican and ie sac ceeded by Mr. L. M. Foyer. * Although there are scattered h rough the land many persons, I am sorry to eay, unab’.e to pay for a newspaper, I have never heaid of any body unable to edit it.”

The Louisville, New Albany mv Chicago Company, last Monday, re ceived the first of twenty o i-ii «■ s ordered for the Chicago and Ino.anapolis Air Line; it is numbered 36. Delphi Times,

It is reported that the place of pub' li<> printer has been tendered to James D Warren, editor of the Buff alo Commercial Adveitiaer, an inventor of the political term “half breed.” If this be true what i3Mf. J.G. Blaine tc have? He invented the term “ stalwart.”

A. B. Southard, General Freight Age it of the Louisville, New Albany ami Chicago and the Chicago and Indianapolis Air Line, repoits that Chicago business men arc taking very kindly to the road, and promise that when in full operation this route shHlj have iit full share of business

Tim Brazil Democrat says: J Dks Jubih e Singers called on President Arthur tne other day nrnl made him cry They sang Safe in the Arms of Jesus” and it proved too much for the old man. This annoying the chief Executive of 50.000,000 peonle until he cries about it is be i ornlng intolerant and must be stop ped.

A- B. Southard, general freight Hfeent of the Lou s' ille. N» w Albany & Chicago road, has issued a paper announcing that the Chicago and Indianapolis Air Line will be opened for business May 1. The iron will be dowD, it is thought, April 1, giving t.iirty days for proper ballasting and solidifying the road bed before the regular trains are out on.

The management of the Louisville. New Albany and Chicago road, which operates the Chicago and Indianapolis Air Line, in a circular just issued, announce the opening of the fol j og stations for bu3iD°*v vmd il* i.espective agents: Dei,,ni, C. O. Lamed; LWilliam Corder; Monticello, H. T. Howard; Mflnon, J. P Gwin; Plousaut Ridge, J. V. Parkis on; Rensselaer, C. F. Wren; Rose Lawn, L. Craig; Thaj r er. W. M. Kenney; Lowell, George C. Barker; Creston, R C. Wood; St. Johns, P. J Schmitt; Dyer, James Tanner.

Maj. L. A Burke, formerly of this city, but now of Miehigau, was in town last Friday and called on the Times. Major Burke is about to relit* fion) the hotel business in Miobi «an city and will remo e to Rensselaer, where be is to become landlord of a new and elegant three story biick hotel about to be opened Rensselaer is a groing town and Maj. B. will strike a small sized bonanza—Lafayette Times. We are sorry tbat such is the fact. During Major Burke’s lesidence in this city he has made hundreds of friends who will very much dislike to part with him.—Michigan City Dispatch.

Ex Senator Conkling’s nomina tion to the Supreme Bench is having a very harrowing effect upon the New York Tribune. It says: Gulteau has made a supreme Judge, aa well as a president: and he is not hung yet. There is not a human being so ignorant as to believe that Mr. Koscoe Conkling would have been awarded the highest judicial office in the gift of the president, if a coldblooded assassin had not first murdered the president whom the people elected. For the horrible murder no man living is thought by the people of the United States more responsible than Mr. Conkling himsif. * * * lithe nomination were otherwise a fit one, something would be pardoned to the personal friendship and personal gratitude of the late Vice President. But the nomination is on other grounds, notoriously unfit. • * * If he must be provided for at the pub lie expense, it should be after the manner he himself recomended This is what he said about Collector Robertson to Garfield; send him abroad to some second-class consulship; and I will go into the lobby an 1 hold my nose while he is confirmed ” The Tribune seems to have as much love for Mr. Conkling as it has for Mr. Tllden.

Two OfixuoNs.—Geo. Fltz John Por ter, an accomplished, skillful and brave soldier, was made to bear the punishment due to the blunders—ma ay think intentional—of Stanton* Halleck, et. al., by a Board of incompetents organized to couviet. Since then an Advisory Board, after having Carefully examined the proceeding* of the court which tried him report “that Porter was not only unjustly dealt with, bub that iw it had not been VOS HIM THBRE WOULD HAVE BEEN •BEAT iusASTxst to the Union Abmt,” and recommend that the foul wrong be righted and he restored to his command. The Fowler Era. a half-breed sheet* thus gives vent to its “loil” feelings in reference to the matter: H As we think, the President and Cabinet will cover'themeelves with the •yes.of loyal men, If they restore Fits Jobo Porter to the army. Would as well restore Jeff Davis. We suppose, however, Conkling and Grant have intruded We are charitable plough to believe that at the time when Fitz John Porter prevented -V great disaster to' the Union Army”

the self dubbed “loyal men" of the Era were far beyond danger from rebel bullets.

The nomination of Mr. Sargent is nearly as disgraceful asConkling’s. He is a cerrupt politician and repre sent* nothing of American national character, except that which calls for ablush. He ought not to be confirmed. —lndianapolis News, “half breed.”