Democratic Sentinel, Volume 6, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 February 1882 — A Maine Deacon at the Pump. [ARTICLE]

A Maine Deacon at the Pump.

One moonless night an Auburn deacon lighted his lantern, took the water-pail, and went out doors to the back-yard pomp to get a pail of water. He carefully adjusted the wooden pail to a favorable focus, and absent-mindedly hung, the lantern on the pump nose. He then seized the pump handle, and worked it as vigorously as a well-preserved but ab-sent-minded* Auburn deacon could. The stream of water gushed out of thepump and broke the lantern into fragments, leaving the Auburn deacon in the dark and his water-pail in a thir sty condition. If he had been anybody but an Auburn deaerfu people would have Baid—well, what wouldn’t they say?—Zeiofeton {Me.) Journal. “ First a cough carried me off, And then a coffin they carried me off in ! ” This will not be your epitaph if yon take your cough aud Dr. B. V. Pierce's “ Golden Medical Discovery” in time. It is specific for weak lungs, spitting of blood, night sweats and the early stages of consumption. By all druggists.

An old darkey who was asked if in his experience prayer was answered, replied : ‘ * Well, sah, some pra’ers is ansud an’ some ain’t—’pends on w’at you axes fo’. Jest arter de wall, w’en it was mighty hard* scratchin’ fo’ de culled breddern, I ’bsarved dat w’enbber I pray de Lord to sen’one o’Maree Peyton’s fat turkeys fo’ de ole man, dere was no notice took of de partition ; but w’en I Sray dat he would sen’ de ole man fo’ e turkey, de matter was ’tended to befo’ sun-up nex’ mornin’, dead sartin.” Lobd Bybon, in reference to a beautiful lady, wrote to a friend : “ Lady has been dangerously ill. but now she is dangerously well again.” American 'belles, when attacked by any of the ills that flesh is heir to, may be kept killing and avoid being killed by taking Dr. R. V. Tierce’s “ Favorite Prescription,” which banishes feminine weaknesses and restores the bloom of health. By all druggists. W hat important persons we conceive ourselves to be ! Wa think that it is we alone that can animate the circle that we move in ; that in our absence, life nourishment and breath will make a general pausa; and, alas, the void it occurs is scaFeely remarked, so soon is it filled up again ; nay, it is often but the place, if not for someting better, at least, for something more agreeable.