Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 November 1881 — Snipe on Toast. [ARTICLE]

Snipe on Toast.

I had some snipe on toast in Harrisburg. I saw a bill of fare : “Snipe on toast, sixty cents.” Snipe on toast would be almost too healthy food to feed people who had been floating on a raft three weeks, feeding on boot-legs. Says Ito the waiter : “ Give me some snipe on toast.” By and by he came in and put down some toast, and I kept on reading. I sat there an hour. Then I rang the gong. The waiter entered, and says I: “ Where the deuce is my meat ?” Says he : “They’ve been on the table an hour.” Say I: “I didn’t order plain toast; 1 wanted a snipe on it.” Says he : “ There is a snipe on it.” Then I drew close up to the table and I saw a black speck on the toast, and I says: “ You’ll swear that’s a snipe ?” Say he : “3fes.” Says I: “ You would make a good linen buyer, you would. ” Says he : “ It’s a snipe on toast, anyhow.” Says I: “ How did it get on it ?” Says he : “ That snipe’s all right; it’s’ a full-sized one, too.” Says I: “I am glad that you told me that’s a full-sized snipe ; for, do you know, young man, when I sat out there reading, I saw a black speck on that toast, but I took it for a fly, and I’m glad to be informed it’s a snipe. Now you can take that snipe away and bring me a turkey on toast; and I want a full-sized turkey, too. ” I ain’t hankering after snipe since that episode. I could have blown , that snipe through a putty-blower without hurting the snipe or putty-blower either. Snipe on toast may be game, but it’s a mean game — -Burlington Hawkeye.