Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 November 1881 — Union Skraps. [ARTICLE]

Union Skraps.

Look in a leetle like rain. Melissa Wiseman baz the difthera. Helth purty good at prezent. Rodes iz az muddy az we ever seed ’em. .J-V. Alter haz the con track to bild the brige over the Irekoy at Alter’s mill. John Guss will do the mason word. Charley CJilmore iz putin up a house on the land he bot. Look out, gnrls. bimeby he’ll be wanting a housekeeper. Jim Pierce, ov Marion, iz to teech the Harrington school this winter. 1 & ' Viseman * Ben « st *d puttin up Jennie Gant iz Presdent ov the Jasper City Litrary and Debatin society. But fu muskrats in tne marshes this fall, Gess they stampeded an went to Keener. We hav alters pade close attenshun to the writens ov your corespondents. By readin their writens, we hav lerned that Union an Walker each lay clame to the ‘ biggest garl;” that Union haz the “most remarkably related famly,” an that one time there lived in Union a grate engneer whoze name waz Hestaud ; that there iz no “top buggies" m Union, an that the Keener bohs take the lops off ov their buggies when they go to see the Gillam garls; that thsre iz a. grate statesman in Barkley whoze name iz Swacklehammer that there iz “web-footed damsels" in Gillam, an. lastly, that it makes a Gillam garl fltin mad to notis the shape an size ov her foot. rv . , UNCLE SIMON. October 80, 1881.

It doesn’t do to fool with an editor no how you fix it. The editor of the’ Sacramento Record Union boards at the same hotel with a young M. D. who is a practical joker. As the journalist usually comes home in the wee sma’ hours, the sawbones determined to frighten him by suspending a skeleton in a particularly dark passage in front of the editor’s room. Then the doctor and some friends hid near by to enjoy seeing the quill-driver’s hair raise. Instead of this, however, that molder of public opinion calmly examined the ghostly relic, made a memorandum on his shirt-cuff and left the house again. The doctor was very much mystified by this action, but he understood it all when he next morning looked in the paper and saw his name mentioned in an item headed, “Another Case for the Commis sioners!” “Singular Freak of a Maniac!”

When a tramp was asked peremptorily where he lived, he replied:— “Where do I live? I don’t live anywhere; but I starve in New York.” His condition was so desperate that he came very near doing a day’s work, but the philanthropist paid him in advance and that saved him from breaking the habit of many years. It is charged that General Tyner's hunting trips are made with the Posi/> master of Laramie, Wyo., to whom he allowed a salary of $2,100 per annum, and $1,200 jor clerk hire. The office paid less than S4OO yearly in box rents and commissions.