Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 September 1881 — Tis Now. [ARTICLE]

Tis Now.

Now the chowder’s in the pot, and the days are getting hot, and all begin to swelter with a swelt, swelt, swelt. While the crimson lemonade through a straw enchants tho maid, who displays a bunch of flowers at her belt, belt, belt. Now we wave the pictured fan, drink the cooling black-and-tan, and we watch the periwinkle by the surf, surf, surf. And the tourist happy feels, as he reads his * ‘Puck on Wheels” while he rolls with laughter on the turf, turf, turf. Now our fancies, quaint and queer, lightly turn to thoughts of beer, and the picnic’s everlasting custard pie, pie, pie. And we sit with prettv Nell, 'neath a gingham umberell, gaily boomeranged and shipwrecked by her sigh, sigh, sigh. Now the cat begins to scoot from the well-directed boot, and the poodle wears a kettle on his tail, tail, tail. Now the Vassar maidens mount every soda-water fount, and they drink Vermillion water till they’re pale, pale, pale. Now the ice-man with a smile slings his haughty summer style, and the plumber bows in solitnde his head, head. Now the cuffs and collars melt, now the monte-man is felt, and the circus in the country does appear, ’pear, ’pear. No news is this, by Jo, they are facts all people know, for they’re written by the joker every year, year, year.— Puck. The streams in Ohio are so low that milk-men all over the State are going »tq bankruptcy,<^4,

Alexander’s Night Thoughts. “ Saltokoff Skupschirofsky, ” said the Czar to the CaptauPof the guard, “ have the guards been doubled at the palace gate?” “They have, my liege,” responded Sj 8., “and the man with the telescope sweeps the horizon, so that not even a solitary horseman can approach thy imperial dwelling. ” “And the light-ning-rod man?” “He sleeps beneath the Neva, so please your majesty.” “ The man for subscriptions to the Life of Sergeant Bates?” “He speeds to Siberia on a special train.” “ And the ladder and tree protector men ?” “Ask of the vipers in the palace dungeons.” “ The man who continues at tikis late day to say, 'what, never?*” “Thy imperial headsman wears his watchchain.” “*Tis well. Telegraph -to Europe that another conspiracy has been baffled, keep the gum-drop and corn-ball boys, Who spread sedition on the railroad trains, under thy vigilant eye, and may St. Isaac of Knownow bless thee.” And the Czar, putting on his cast-iron night shirt, retired to his princely couch. —Boston Transcript