Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 September 1881 — Elegant Language Used by Our Boys [ARTICLE]

Elegant Language Used by Our Boys

Perhaps the following is not founded on fact. We have endeavored to make it so, and will at the outset disclaim any intention to deceive the public. An Omaha youth professed great affection for a young lady schoolmate of his, and frequently alluded to her as his individual “huckleberry.” A coolness, however, sprang up between them, and his anxious mother, seeing the fresh color of youth fading away daily from his wasted cheeks, sought and obtained an interview with the young Adonis, in which ensued the following colloquy : “Now, Erastus, I would like to inquire the reason of your apparent melancholy. ” “Well, you see, Matilda’s weakened on me.” “Weakened! What do you mean?” “ She’s shook me.” “Shook you! How could she shake a great boy like you ?” “Why, don’t you twig the thing? She’s give me away. ” “ Give you away —to whom ?” “Yes, she went back on me and tumbled to a long chap with a red goatee. ” “My son, your language is utterly inexplicable to me. Can not you give hie a more clear account of the disagreeable subject ?” “ Well, I’ll try. You see Matilda is a nobby sort of a dulciana, and as most of the chaps were rather sweet on her, I kinder thought it would be a soft thing to go for her on my own account, and get her to sack some of those low down snides who are always on the bilk and never do the square thing anyway. Well Matilda waltzed right into the game and we just slid right along for a spell till Boliver Mason struck the town, and then she soured on me. You remember when old Cauliflower turned up his toes and they planted him? Well, ever since then Matilda has throwed off on me, so I’ve concluded to brace up and strike for a new deal. The fact is, when you get to bed-rock in a girl’s affections, it ain’t no use prospecting any further. I jumped the game and now call for a new lead. Money talks, and a fellow might as well pull down his vest and button up his lip. Some other time I'll rent a hall and tell you all about it. The jig is up, and I ain’t the fellow to squeal on her. Matilda is as gay as a peach, and I ain’t a going to get at all spooney. If you talk it over with Susan, don’t sling in too much chin music, but give us a rest; matters will come out all him-, key. ” The good woman wilted. — Omaha Democrat.